People have rules for their homes.
Some rules are easy and make sense; others can be hard to follow.
Is there a way to make everybody happy?
Redditor NameNo5495 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally, he came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
He asked:
"AITA for refusing to take my shoes off in my friend's house, causing his wife to cancel the DnD session for everyone?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I (38 M[ale]) was invited to a D[ungeons] A[nd] D[ragons] session with 4 other people at my friend Alex's (34 M) house."
"When I got there, his wife answered the door and immediately asked me to take my shoes off because they have a strict no-shoes policy due to having a crawling baby."
"I explained that I have a medical condition called epidermolysis bullosa simplex (EBS), which makes the skin on my feet extremely fragile."
"Even mild friction or pressure can cause painful blisters and tears, so I have to wear supportive shoes with cushioned orthopedic insoles at all times, even indoors."
"Walking barefoot or just in socks causes me pain and can lead to bleeding."
"She suggested I put grocery bags or socks over my shoes, but I told her that's unsafe for walking and honestly, just insulting."
"She said she 'can't compromise her baby's health for my comfort.'"
"When Alex came to the door, he told me to 'just deal with it for a couple of hours,' or I wasn't welcome inside."
"I told him I wasn't going to risk injuring myself over a DnD session, and if my shoes were that big of an issue, I'd respectfully leave."
"As I walked back to my car, I overheard his wife telling the other guests that were already there that the night was 'off' because I 'made a huge scene at the door.'"
"Later, I got a group text from Alex saying he was canceling DnD night because 'it's not fair to expect everyone else to pretend nothing happened.'"
"Some mutual friends say I overreacted and could've just sucked it up, while others think Alex and his wife were ridiculous for ruining everyone else's plans just because I decided not to stay."
The OP was left to wonder:
"So... AITA?
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP WAS the A**hole.
"Don't know why you couldn't just cover your shoes with bags." ~ Exotic-Knowledge-243
"This is the answer."
"Maintenance people do this all the time when they enter homes; it does not affect how well you walk, and it seems like it would have been a good compromise."
"YTA for thinking this is insulting." ~ hello_farmer
"YTA!!"
"Disclosure: I'm from a part of western Canada where it's unthinkable to wear shoes indoors."
"If you have a condition that requires you to wear shoes, then you need to bring 'indoor shoes' with you."
"Just a cute pair of lightweight sneakers in your bag, and you're set!"
"This is what we did in elementary school."
"It's the only option in a rainy climate." ~ reluctantseahorse
"Spot on answer!"
"Even without a crawling baby, it's perfectly reasonable to expect people to take their shoes off upon entering a home."
"I'm in the US Midwest, kick your shoes off at the door!"
"I can't imagine why OP was unprepared for this situation."
"If they can't afford another pair of shoes (valid), then they should have a box of disposable booties to slip over their shoes." ~ Lows-andHighs
"You're 38, and it has never come up before that someone doesn't want you wearing your dirty outdoor shoes in their home?"
"YTA, at your age, you should know how to manage your medical condition while respecting others' homes." ~ TheCalamityKitten
"Absolutely, he should be carrying special shoes for these moments."
"Most people don't want dirty shoes in their house." ~ lucygoosey38
"Hey. I also have to wear shoes indoors for medical reasons."
"I keep a separate pair that I only wear indoors and bring them when visiting people's homes."
"Is that an option for you?"
"With elastic laces, it's not a huge lift to change at the door." ~ Dangerous_Abalone528
"YTA... because I think if you have a condition like this, you should already be prepared with something like slip-on booties or indoor shoes."
"I know it's different in some places, but in my culture, we always take off shoes indoors, so I can't imagine not having a plan for a situation like this."
"You aren't even walking during a DnD game, so could you really not have covered them with bags for the few steps to wherever you guys were playing?" ~ Joltex33
"Yes, I was thinking that you don't have to walk around a lot during a D&D game, so what would be the issue with having bags placed over the shoes, as the friend's wife suggested as a compromise?"
"I can understand that if you've never been over to this friend's house, then you wouldn't have been prepared to take off your shoes to enter the house."
"But then all you had to do was put a bag over the shoes to enter for a game that is not physically active."
"What's the problem??" ~ HI_l0la
"Knowing you have this condition and a good majority of people do not allow shoes in their homes, why don't you have shoe covers for times like these?"
"This is 100% a YOU problem."
"Did they overreact by canceling, yes. But YatA." ~ BMcD701
"Are you serious?"
"You can't put a bag over your dirty shoes?"
"She offered a perfectly fine compromise, and you got offended? YtA." ~ WillisPoofin
"Yeah, I was understanding until that part, but putting bags or socks over the shoes isn't going to be a safety hazard unless OP is dancing around."
"Wearing them to walk to the table, and then walk to the toilet or to get a drink while playing, isn't going to produce a safety hazard."
"OP was within his rights to refuse and to leave, but I find it interesting that they have this really significant health problem that means he has to wear shoes at all times, but he has absolutely no plan for situations where people don't want his outdoor shoes on their floors."
"Has this situation never come up?"
"Had he not told his DnD group this, so that they could plan for this, because in my experience, it's really really not that rare for people to have 'No outside shoes indoors' rules, so I'm confused about the fact that he has no plan whatsoever for that.'" ~ haleorshine
"Soft YTA - you should bring a pair of indoor shoes with your insoles when you're going to be a guest in someone else's home, so you aren't tracking whatever you may have stepped in outside onto their floors."
"Your medical condition is yours to manage, not to impose on others."
"Plus, to add as an edit in this case - come on, guy, you were being asked to accommodate a baby."
"You're the adult here. "
"Act like one." ~ papuadn
"I'm having a hard time believing you because if you really do have this condition, you'd be prepared with a pair of house shoes or booties meant to go over your shoes."
"It's incredibly common for people not to allow shoes in the house."
"On the off chance that you're actually telling the truth, YTA." ~ navanni
"YTA. Their house, their rules."
"Her concerns for her child are completely valid, especially in their own home."
"Heck, just wanting floors that don't have outside dirt tracked in is completely valid."
"Also, the thing I cannot get over in my head."
"How does someone with such a condition NOT have indoor footwear for this EXACT scenario?"
"Their request is not at all unusual."
"I suppose you walk around your own home with outdoor shoes all the time?"
"Floor cleaning must be a nightmare for you. ICK." ~ Doktor_Seagull
"YTA. You should not have to compromise your comfort or safety regarding your medical condition; however, this would be very easily fixed by a pair of orthopedic slippers."
"And I find it hard to believe that you are a 38-year-old person who has somehow never run into this issue before as a house guest, and has not given it the ten seconds of thought necessary to come up with the option of slippers."
"Bear in mind that this household has a baby, who is likely crawling all over the floors and then sticking their hands in their mouth."
"Obviously, the family wants to keep their floors nice and clean." ~ SittinAndKnittin
"Sorry, but YTA."
"Yes, you have a medical condition, but it's not your house."
"You find her wanting you to cover your shoes insulting."
"Too bad."
"The soles of shoes are extremely filthy and still not your house."
"Do you expect to have the right to wear your shoes into anyone's home?"
"If so, you might want to buy some non-slip shoe covers." ~ Smarterthanuthink867
"YTA. It's pretty normal and respectful to remove shoes when entering someone else's home, even without being asked to do so."
"Since you have a medical condition and you (somehow) didn't anticipate that you might be expected to remove shoes when entering someone's home, putting grocery bags or socks over your shoes was a compromise."
"You should have taken the compromise." ~ Helloreddit0703
"Not your house, not your rules."
"Their priority is their baby."
"If you can NEVER go without shoes inside a house, you should already always carry some sort of house-shoe or padded slipper or socks for instances like these."
"Yes, your friend should have warned you beforehand, but you need to be prepared for situations in life to always be able to take care of your own disability in various locations/situations." ~ BoudiccasJustice
Well, OP, Reddit is taking issue with your actions.
There were ways to compromise.
But it seems you were resistant to the idea of compromise.
Now, yes, they didn't have to cancel the evening for all, but this could've gone smoother.
