When you lose someone who mattered to you, you often feel compelled to find a way to honor their memory.
This could be by doing something simple, such as gathering together and telling stories.
Or in a grander gesture, one that requires time, planning, and money.
Of course, the grander gestures usually require the help of multiple people.
When even one person isn't on board with this plan, it could potentially derail it entirely.
A colleague of Redditor quinnismmm recently died unexpectedly. Naturally, the original poster (OP) and their coworkers wanted to find a meaningful way to honor this late colleague. Luckily, the OP's boss had an idea that everyone was in favor of.
Everyone, that is, except the OP.
Concerned their feelings might not have been justified, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole Here?" (AITAH).
Unlike the similar "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
"AITAH for telling my boss balloon releases are environmentally unfriendly?"
The OP explained how they found themselves at odds with their colleagues:
"So about a week ago one of our coworkers passed away in a pretty tragic way."
"I only work with about 8 people so I consider them all family, yesterday we were talking to my coworkers mother and they came up with the idea to do a balloon release to honor our coworker and the first thing that came out of my mouth was 'balloon releases are terrible for the environment and wildlife, I don’t think people in this city would be very happy if they saw us do that'."
"We work in a very green liberal city."
"Everyone just stopped and stared at me, then my boss said, 'We aren’t asking for permission."
"I felt awkward, but I’m super big on keeping the environment clean and protecting wildlife."
Now my boss is annoyed with me, and I feel bad.
"Am I in the wrong?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community wholeheartedly agreed that the OP did the absolute right thing by expressing their concerns about a balloon release.
Everyone agreed that not only were the OP's points valid, but there were other legal and practical issues that the OP's boss and colleagues didn't seem to be taking into consideration:
"I used to have a small herd of goats."
"Two were killed when someone's balloon bouquet came down in my field and they choked on a couple of the deflated balloons."
"Tell your boss balloon releases kill animals."
"NTA."- Legion1117
"I say NTA, these things need to stop being normalized."- Responsible_Egg_2727
"Balloon releases are so bad."
"I'd suggest a candle vigil or something else."- Electrical_Cash8532
"Yes, please, kill some wildlife and leave trash in the wild in my honor."
"I feel dearly respected and remembered."
"NTA."- Impossible_Smile4113
"Big part of Georgia was just on fire bc of a balloon."
"I wouldn't go lol."- slimylobsters
"NTA and you might not be allowed to it."
"Suggest planting a tree or something."- Violet351
"I live next to a beautiful beach in the Scottish Highlands and often see people releasing balloons in someone's 'memory'."
"I don't care how much of a AH I sound, I almost always point out that's either going to end up killing wildlife or being picked up by the local volunteer litter pickers."
"I then list a few local charities for whom money donated in their loved ones name would have a far more positive impact for all."-Petrichor_ness
"You are correct."
"Check with your local government about legalities."- marypfra
"Just don’t release 99 red ones."- Buho45
"Suggestion for next time, you rightfully challenged because of environmental issues; however, you should’ve immediately offered another solution that would be more environmentally friendly, like maybe releasing the paper lanterns instead."
"It probably felt to them like you were more concerned about the environment than the death coworker."- Ughallthetime
"NTA."
"I cant believe that in 2026 people are still thinking that balloon releases are the thing to do."- hwilliams0901
"NTA in 1986 Cleveland released 1.5 million balloons and is considered an ecological disaster."
"Balloons should never be released on purpose."- shreddnaught
"You are not wrong, but am I understanding that the mother of your late coworker was a part of this discussion?"
"If so, perhaps a bit of discretion in the face of a grieving mother might have been appropriate?"- BothReading1229
"You're correct, of course, but maybe under the circumstances it wasn't the best time and place to take a stand."
"Might have gone over better had offered another suggestion and then explained why instead of making it a criticism."-misstheolddaysfan
"NTA."
"Balloon releases are terrible, and people really need to stop doing that."
"You're not wrong."- dangerous_skirt65
"Absolutely NTA."
"I live 30 miles north of a major city on a good piece of property."
"During the summer, the area gets wind from the south."
"I am constantly picking up deflated balloons all around my property as are the neighbors."
"We have even seen a deer with one caught on his antlers (he probably tried to fight the shiny thing I'm the bushes)."
"The worst time was when someone had a wedding or something and released what seemed to be thousands of paper lantern things."
"THEY WERE EVERYWHERE."
"In the local lakes, on people's roofs, in the trees, in hay fields, literally everywhere."
"So thank you for voicing the harm this causes."- FitSky6277
"NTA, you are correct."
"Don’t feel badly for saying something."- Old_Interview_5856
"NTA."
"There is NEVER a reason for a balloon release and it should be illegal EVERYWHERE."- emryldmyst
"So many other ways to pay tribute that are better for the environment."
"Maybe suggest planting a tree in their memory."
"NTA."- RefrigeratorNo686
"Im pretty sure its illegal is several areas."
"If you are in a green city - I bet it is there too."
"I live in Delaware - its illegal in our whole state."- Outside_Holiday_9997
"Our state just made balloon release illegal for that reason."
"You are NTA but your boss is."- Flimsy-Field-8321
"NTA."
"You also pointed out the potential harm to the business reputation."- chasingjulian
"You are not wrong."
"I was a sailor for 7 years and i saw balloons floating around the ocean nearly every day."
"Your coworkers can honor their friend without killing sea creatures."- hlfshaveflopynutsack
"NTA."
"Good for you for speaking up, even if they didn't take it well."
"If someone did a balloon release in my memory I'd haunt them so hard."
"They'd never get another peaceful night's sleep without me banging kitchen cabinet doors and shaking my gory locks at them."- Classic-Wafer-7838
"Balloon releases are horrible."
"They pollute the land, they waste helium, which is a finite resource, and they kill animals who accidentally ingest them."
"There are much better ways to honor someone."
'They're stupid if they do this. Is there a nearby body of water -- a lake or large pond?"
"I've seen people who paint flat stones in someone's memory, then skip the stones on the water."
"It's called a Ripple Ceremony."
"The video I found used stones made from the compressed remains after a person is cremated, but you could do it with any flat stones."
"Each person writes something on their stone before skipping it onto the water."- JanetInSpain
"NTA."
"By honoring someone with balloons you are also killing wildlife."
"Odd that people want to honor a life by causing death."
"In my state balloon releases are illegal and thank goodness."
"Since the balloon ban I haven't found any balloons floating in Long Island sound or floating down the river behind my house."
"I used to rage every time I picked one out of the water."- Intelligent-Deal2449
"NTA."
"Balloon releases are illegal in some places."- MrsEarthern
"A small office of less than 10, your beloved coworker died in a very tragic way, everybody must be very upset."
"Perhaps apologize, acknowledge this is a difficult and tragic situation."
"Collectively come up ideas that you all agree with."- Pretend-Judgment-506
"NTA, you can do a butterfly release instead."
"I work at a funeral home, and we do these all the time, and they're very beautiful, much better than balloons imo."
"Just make sure the butterflies you get won't be considered e invasive to where you are."- weirdo0808
"NTA."
'In many places that's illegal now."- Cybermagetx
"NTA, I'm surprised more people aren't aware of the dangers of balloon releases."
"Can you possibly give the idea of tree planting organizations?"
"Hopefully, more of your co-workers will read up on the release idea and nix it."
"Good for you for saying something early to try to stop it."- fraurodin
It's nice that the OP's coworkers want to honor their late colleague.
That they seem almost obstinately set on honoring him with a balloon release is a bit less sweet, though.
As one might imagine, he would be touched by any honor.
Especially in a way that didn't cause environmental harm.
Woman Claps Back At Overweight Roommate After She Calls Her A 'Skinny B*tch' First
Corbis/VCG/GettyImages
A person's weight can be a VERY sensitive topic.
Whether someone is considered overweight or underweight, talking about it can cause a lot of strife.
Some people make comments that they think are light-hearted fun.
But that kind of fun can sting emotionally.
Redditor Certain_Nothing_3355 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I (22 F[emale]) have three roommates."
"Lacey (22 F) is one of my roommates."
"All four of us have a good relationship; we regularly have dinner together, go out together, and hang out at our apartment."
"Sometimes Lacey can be snarky, but usually we don’t really say anything to her or each other about it."
"I just chalk it up to a personality quirk and accept it."
"For context, I am 115lb, and Lacey is 215lb (she’s recently started her weight loss journey and posts her weight online)."
"I promise this is relevant."
"Last night, my roommates and I were getting ready for a night out, and I was in my room with the door open, putting makeup on."
"Music was playing, and my roommates were running in and out of each other’s rooms to borrow clothes and chat about plans for the night."
"Lacey walked by my room to grab something from our shared bathroom."
"As she did, she looked into my room and loudly said, 'I’m so glad I’m not one of those skinny bi*ches that needs makeup to feel good about herself.”
"Before thinking, I snapped back, 'I’m so glad I’m not one of those overweight b*tches that needs to put other girls down to feel good about herself.'”
"And then I went right back to putting on my makeup."
"She burst into tears and told me I had no right to bring up her weight."
"I told her she brought up my weight first, so she had no leg to stand on."
"Later, one of my other roommates told me I was out of line since Lacey has struggled with her weight, and we all know she can make sharp comments sometimes, so I should have let it go."
"I agree, I could have probably been nicer about it, but at the same time, I feel like I was also matching the energy she gave me."
The OP was left to wonder:
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
"NTA. I'm an overweight snarky b***h, and Lacey got what she asked for."
"If we have learned nothing from the body positive movement, it's that NOBODY is allowed to comment on someone else's appearance."
"She drew first blood."
"She won't do it again... lol." ~ kstweetersgirl2013
"NTA. I had a girl call me anorexic all throughout school, and everyone had an issue when I'd call her fat."
"You don't get to make derogatory comments about other people's bodies without expecting it back."
"If I'm going to be an ar*ehole, then I'd fully expect it back."
"I don't see why it should be any different just because she's overweight."
"That doesn't provide her with immunity from having her actions reflected back at her."
"If she doesn't like it, then she should have enough self-awareness to realize she started it and should have expected it back." ~ SleepyDeluxe
"Lacey struggles with her mouth, too, by making such an ugly remark."
"She fired the first shot."
"You just fired back. NTA." ~ YakCertain5472
"NTA. Some insecure big girls think, since being skinny is generally considered conventionally attractive, that it’s OK and fair to disparage and insult people thinner than they are. It’s not."
"They don’t like comments about their bodies or weight, and they shouldn’t do the same to others."
"You gave her a taste of her own medicine, and hopefully she’ll think twice before talking to anyone like that again." ~ draizetrain
"NTA. You’re not in the wrong for clapping back."
"She should learn that you treat others how you want to be treated yourself."
"Not your fault, you returned the favor." ~ turtlesaregorgeous
"NAH, fu*k that. I had a 'friend' who constantly made snide comments on my body."
"She was insecure with herself and lashed out to make herself feel bigger."
"She had the same reaction your roommate did when I started throwing it back."
"Sorry, kids - being overweight isn't a bulletproof shield to protect you from the ramifications of being an as*hole."
"Don't start none, won't be none."
"Either go to therapy and deal with your insecurities, or get it back in your face." ~ Internal-Student-997
"Not the as*hole."
"I couldn't care less if 'that's just how she is' and that she's sensitive about her weight."
"She's an as*hole for being rude for no reason."
"Seriously, she's not being 'snarky.'"
"She's being a rude as*hole."
"What you said was snarky."
"What she said was completely uncalled for."
"Maybe now she'll think twice about insulting people for absolutely no reason." ~ EffectiveNo7681
"I'm going with NTA only because I feel like that sort of behavior needs to have consequences."
"Let her cry and feel bad; if she says something rude about your body, and you give that back to her?"
"Well, maybe she'll think twice in the future."
"I can see why some people went with ESH because, yes, you could have handled it kinder."
"But you're 22, and also you just gave her back what she gave you, which wasn't at all unfair."
"She was rude; you were rude in return."
"She got upset."
"Them's the consequences, hopefully she learned the right lesson here."
"That said, your remark probably really cut her, because underneath her rudeness is likely a lot of insecurity and jealousy, and that's what drove her comment."
"It's not up to you to be her therapist, but if you care about her, you might want to try to have a conversation with her about what drove her to say that to you when you've both calmed down."
"Someone may need to encourage her to get some support rather than taking her angst out on others." ~ Datura_Rose
"NTA and you were NOT 'out of line.'"
"If she’s going to be a b*tch she should expect others to be a b*tch right back, especially about the same thing."
"She doesn’t sound 'snarky,' she sounds like she needs therapy and a proper sit-down to discuss boundaries and appropriate behavior." ~ SteampunkRobin
"NTA. Especially because some people struggle with gaining weight."
"People tell me all the time, 'I wish I were as skinny as you!!'”
"Okay, do you also wish you had thyroid problems that make it impossible to properly digest and hang onto the thousands of dollars I spend on food?"
"My body is killing itself from the inside out, but yeaaaaahhh go tell me to eat another cheeseburger." ~ Dull-Selection615
"See... some of these comments aren't it... yes it costs nothing to be kind, and you don't have to match her energy."
"However, constantly having to push aside her comments because 'that's just how she is' is absolutely not ok."
"Being overweight and snarky are not free passes for her to weaponize and use them."
"Sometimes you need to snap back. NTA." ~ nackle09
"NTA - She was tearing you down to make herself feel better. "
"Sure, she struggles with weight, meaning that was a guaranteed gut shot (no pun intended), but that means she more than understands how hurtful it is to be judged by size."
"Which would make this situation all the more disappointing for you."
"Also, if someone wants to be the snarky friend and make comments like that with no repercussions, then they gotta learn to take some of it back, especially if they cross the line."
"She’s your friend, sure, you could have been nicer, but good intentions only get you so far, and even if she meant it in jest, it doesn’t mean there’s no line to cross." ~ Jedi_Of_Kashyyyk
"NTA. I imagine this isn't the first time she has done something like this."
"You don't have to always just ignore her and let it go; it's not fair that you keep being insulted and do nothing about it."
"I see no difference between what she said and what you said, so if she cried, maybe she'll use this experience to understand how she constantly makes other people feel." ~ WhatTookTheeSoLong
"NTA, she brought up weight first as an attempt to bully without any retaliation; she knows weight is a touchy subject and has made sure no one is allowed to make comments like that to her, but she feels entitled to make opposite comments."
"Do not apologize, but I’d maybe have a roommate sit down and talk about what is appropriate and not appropriate to say to and about others."
"And make it about weight because it’s uncomfortable, but she started this."
"People have all sorts of reasons they are overweight, and some of them really can’t help it."
"In the same fashion, some people are underweight, and you don’t know why they are that skinny, and it’s none of your business, just like it’s nobody’s business why you are overweight."
"Say plainly: these comments about ANY weight have got to stop because they’re harmful."
"From now on, your apartment and your language are body positive no matter what, and snarky comments will get called out as the asshole remarks they are." ~ Netflxnschill
"NTA, as a plus-size woman myself, I would never comment on someone's body, and if I did, I'd expect the same energy back." ~ kpi3zy
Reddit is with you, OP.
You had every right to defend yourself.
Hopefully, you can all talk it out.
Good Luck.