As long as children are kept healthy, protected, and loved, there is arguably no right or wrong way to parent.
Regardless, some parents frequently find themselves dumbfounded when the parenting styles of others veer even the slightest bit from their own.
While most will merely raise an eyebrow, and mock or bemoan to others what they feel are inferior parenting choices in confidence, some have no trouble expressing their utter disapproval directly to these parents’ faces.
Even when the parents in question are their own family.
Redditor Born-Balance9568 was more than happy to watch his niece and nephew for the night with his husband in an effort to give his sister and brother-in-law a child-free night.
However, when his sister returned the next morning, she was not at all pleased to discover what the original poster (OP) fed his nephew for dinner.
Making no effort whatsoever to hide her dissatisfaction.
Wondering if he made a big mistake, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA giving my nephew pizza bagels?”
The OP explained why his sister was outraged about what he served her son for dinner when he was under his care:
“My husband (40s M[ale]) and I (40s M[ale]) are hosting my sister (40s F[emale]) as well as her husband/my BIL and their two kids A (toddler) and B (12 A).”
“Since they don’t have a lot of time alone and also can’t afford to take many vacations, my husband and I put them up in a hotel for two days/1 night they’re here so that they can have some alone time without the kids.”
“My husband and I don’t have any kids, but we’re perfectly capable of taking care of the kids for a couple of days solo.”
“The toddler was pretty easy.”
“Maybe she’s not a toddler yet and she’s still an infant, I’m not sure of the specific distinction but she ate baby food and bottles and some puffed cereal stuff provided by my sis.”
“The problem came with feeding my nephew B.”
“For dinner, we made a tossed salad together.”
“Everyone helped out with chopping vegetables. It was great.”
“Then we made pizza bagels for the main.”
“We had a great low-key dinner with our salads and bagel bites, and we ‘camped out’ in the TV room watching a movie until B fell asleep.”
“In my mind, I thought it was a great evening.”
“Well, my sister and BIL come back home from the hotel, and we’re chatting in the kitchen when she notices the pizza bagel box sitting in the recycling.”
“She said, ‘you eat pizza bagels?'”
“And I said, ‘Well, not usually, but we made them last night with B’.”
“WELL she FLIPPED out on me for feeding B such a ‘garbage snack’.”
“That’s when I said, whoa, we made a nice chopped salad to go along with it, and then she flipped out MORE for the fact that this was not merely a snack but our dinner.”
“I told her people have pizza and salad for dinner all the time. What’s wrong with this?”
“It was fun and easy.”
“She told me that now I’m going to have B obsessed with junk food and that ‘if I had known this was going to happen I never would have trusted you with taking care of them, you’re not a parent and it shows’ which honestly just felt like a low blow.”
“My BIL apologized to me in private, but my sister is still acting cold.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was in no way the a**hole for feeding their nephew pizza bagels.
Everyone agreed that not only did the OP’s sister overreact, but she was also shockingly ungrateful after he treated her to a night in a hotel:
“NTA.”
“Yikes.”
“People like your sister are how people grow up to have eating disorders.”- applebum8807
“NTA.”
“If she had any dietary preferences for the 12 year old she could have let you know.”
“You did also make a salad and looked after them for the night.”
“She got a child-free getaway for the evening, and it sounds like you had a great time with B.”-Astroblemes
“NTA.”
“‘You’re welcome for feeding/watching your child and putting you up in a hotel for a night would have been appropriate here.”- Fartin_Scorsese
“NTA.”
“Her reaction makes me think that she might need some maintenance therapy.”
“It’s ok to control what you eat. It’s not ok to monitor what your kid eats.”
“It’s not ok to tell your spouse they can’t put dressing on their salad or eat their popcorn before the movie starts.”
“She’s on the path of passing down the eating disorder to the kids.”- Ok-Light-8489
“NTA.”
“You’re hosting these people, and she’s berating you for feeding pizza bagels to the child you’re babysitting during a fun movie night?”
“That really takes a lot of nerve.”
“I hope they enjoyed their night out; I’m guessing you’re not going to be giving them another night out after that treatment.”- TemptingPenguin369
“It’s ok to have fun food with fun people during fun times.”
“NTA.”- angrytwig
“NTA.”
“You probably made that kid’s night and let him experience a food he actually enjoys.”-accio_depressioso
“NTA.”
“As a fun uncle to 7 nephews and 2 nieces, my siblings absolutely know the first thing we do is make a store trip together where I let them pick out one or two indulgences along with a fun dinner (frito pie is my go-to).”
“It’s part of the experience.”
“That your sister did this after you gifted them an overnight without kids is ridiculous.”- Asleep-Classic-966
“NTA at all.”
“Holy f*ck.”
“FREE CHILDCARE.”
“Like, the only reason for a parent to complain in this scenario would be if you gave the kid something harmful/they’re allergic to or if the parents had actually mentioned the no junk food rule beforehand.”- Aggravating-Item9162
“NTA.”
“I’d bet money the romantic getaway did not go so well!”
“Happy people don’t act that way.”- Square-Minimum-6042
“It’s not like you fed the kid six candy bars for dinner.”
“The kid isn’t going to become obsessed and addicted to junk food from eating this.”
“Kids his age are capable of learning that some things are treats, and you don’t get them all the time.”
“NTA.”- Either_Management813
“You MADE the pizza bagels, you didn’t order them in.”
“They were presumably made from at least SOME food ingredients.”
“And a salad with them!”
“This sounds like a delicious dinner that I would have loved as a kid.”
“A cafe that used to be in my town made vegetarian pizza bagels with tomato paste, beans, and cheese on them.”
“I want one now.”
“I’m gonna MAKE SOME for my lunch!”
“NTA honestly.”-Thatstealthygal
“NTA.”
“If your sister was so concerned with what you were gonna feed him, she should’ve said something before leaving your nephew in your care.”
“I’m gonna guess the night didn’t go too well with her and BIL, and the pizza bagels are just a catalyst for something else.”
“And also why BIL apologized behind her back.”
“Gotta say, you were very generous to not only care for and feed her kid, but also put them up in a hotel?”
“What she said to you was an awful way to say thank you for your generosity.”
“Hope BIL helps her come to her senses and apologize.”- misspoofy
“NTA.”
“When pizza’s on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime.”- LadyKivus
“NTA.”
“She’s being ridiculous.”- The_same_potato
“NTA.”
“Remind your sister that you paid for her couples getaway and babysat her kids.”
“Tell her that you wont be doing anything like that again based on her attitude.”- Flat_Contribution707
“NTA.”
“Your sister had every opportunity to inform you about the dietary restrictions.”
“She is placing on that child.”
“She waited until it was too late to give you this information that she wishes to be so strict about.”
“The fault is on her.”
“Do not let her domain or insult you.”
“You did a good thing for her and your brother-in-law, and she is being thankless.”-One_Engineering8030
“Lmao.”
“Wow.”
“With that attitude towards food, her kid is definitely going to have an obsession with junk food.”
“Having a treat while on vacation is totally not a bad thing either.”
“NTA.”- No-Function223
“NTA.”
“Aunties, uncles, and grandparents are for fun.”
“Parents are for serious.”
“One-night eating pizza bagels isn’t going to hurt B.”
“Unless she specifically laid out a menu or told you ‘Do not feed B pizza/pizza bagels’,” you’re fine.”
“Even as a parent, I would let my kiddo have garbage snacks for dinner sometimes.”- Tilleen
All parents worry that their children have healthy diets, and don’t only fill themselves with sugar and salt.
However, if the OP’s sister was that concerned with what her children were eating, she. should have made that explicitly clear to the OP before accepting his offer for a night away from them.
Something she will hopefully do with all future babysitters.
Particularly as it’s sadly safe to assume the OP will not be babysitting her children any time soon.