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Mom Demands Homeschooled Teen Daughter Get A Job After She Graduates High School Early

teen girl on laptop while laying on bed
Melanie Acevedo/Getty Images

Getting teenagers do you what you want can be an ornery situation.

Sometimes kids are just gonna be kids.

And that can be very frustrating to parents who are trying to do what is best.

But seeing eye to eye can be a difficult place to meet.

Case in point…

Redditor InevitableCricket901 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for making my 16-year-old daughter get a job?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I (43 F[emale]) have 5 kids, but only Rachel (19 F), Rose (16 F) are important to this story.”

“My kids are homeschooled.”

“Rachel finished her A levels at 18 like a normal school but Rose finished her A levels at 16, she is unable to go to university straight away like Rachel as they only accept 18+.”

“So instead of letting my daughter lie in bed all day, watching TV like she started off with (I let her have a month break because she’s worked hard) I got tired of it.”

“And told her it was time to get a job.”

“It would look good for University, and she can start saving up some money for the future.”

“She said she doesn’t want a job, she knows the University will want her as she has perfect grades (A or A* in all four of her a levels).”

“I let her choose by herself for a month, but now I cannot deal with her lying in bed all day.”

“I sat down with her and we made her University application together.”

“I pointed out she has no work experience (gently might I add) and then she started telling me to get off her back and she will get a job soon.”

“Rachel messaged me telling me that Rose is annoyed at me for always telling her to get a job, and how it is unrealistic to expect a 16-year-old to get a job.”

“I am concerned I am TA because she is 16, but I don’t think I am because she cannot expect to get into Uni just because of her grades.”

“She needs some kind of work experience as well.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.

“Aren’t 16-year-olds meant to do one of the following until they turn 18?”

“Stay in full-time education, for example at a college start an apprenticeship or traineeship.”

“Spend 20 hours or more a week working or volunteering, while in part-time education or training.”  ~ No-Yam1369

“Homeschooled individuals can graduate as early as their work is completed.”

“They are not required to be in school until 18.”

“That is a misconception.”

“There are plenty of kids that graduate high school at 15 or younger.”  ~ Dotty_Ford

“Oh, it’s medicine.”

“It is highly unlikely that good grades while homeschooling will get her a placement.”

“Yet another reason not to homeschool your children, if you know they’re interested in highly competitive programs like medicine, veterinary science, etc.”

“Have them transfer and get the diploma or degree or qualifications from an actual school.”

“They will be at a massive disadvantage to kids from traditional schools.”

“The amount of work she’ll have to do on her own to overcome this disadvantage is going to be intense.”

“The fact that Mom is pushing her to just get a part-time job is part of the problem.”

“She needs to be working towards getting any experience in or related to medicine she can.”

“Volunteering, apprenticeships, both formal and informal experience.”  ~ SeasonPositive6771

“Volunteering looks even better than work unless the work is specific to the area of study.”

“She should go and attend community college.”

“It will help her get used to college courses (a bit).”

“And any additional time may be used for volunteering or work.”

“In the meantime don’t give her spending money it will probably encourage her to earn her own now that she has time to work.” ~ mortgage_gurl

“Hi OP, I was home-educated in England (a couple of years ago, so this might be out of date).”

“I finished my exams early and was warned that if I went too many consecutive years without results, it would negatively impact my application to all higher education institutions.”

“Please look into Pre-Us, additional A-Levels, or Foundation Degrees (if you are in an area without a university offering foundation degrees, Open University is good for this).”

“This is assuming that finances aren’t a problem for your family and that your daughter is getting a job purely for her resume, not to contribute.”

“Look into volunteering.”

“Hours will be limited by law and she can jump from place to place and find out what she likes.”

“Any volunteering is good, but she can try to tailor it to her potential degree.”

“I wanted to do history and ended up working at a museum through University, thanks to volunteering there from 16 onwards.”

“Also, if anyone from the council comes for an inspection, volunteering can be spun as an educational experience far more than most jobs you can get at 16.”

“She can still get a job, though, since most places don’t allow you to volunteer for more than 16 hours a week, otherwise you could claim to be an employee.”

“This is incredibly harsh, but you need to get your daughter to understand that all As and A*s is not that rare.”

“She needs to stand out from the crowd and just being home-schooled is not enough of a selling feature.”

“She also (in my experience) will need to prove that she is able to play well with others.”

“The first thing I was asked in interviews (work and education) when they saw ‘home schooled’ on my resume was always ‘can you cope working around other people?/So you’re anti-social?'”

“It’s annoying, but she needs to work around the preconception.”

“I hope this is helpful and not overstepping.”

“Again, this is just my experience!”

“Good luck and well done to your daughter on her results!!!” ~ Surrounded_by_weird

“YTA. You may be correct, but you’re going the wrong way about it.”

“The post I’m replying to, OP, is gold, solid advice.”

“Present this to your daughter tactfully and support her in a relevant paid role or volunteering scheme.”

“Universities, and jobs too, want well-rounded applicants with soft skills, not just exam grades.”

“In fact, you’re more likely to be hired on soft skills than exam grades.”

“I recently spent 10 years out of work caring for a disabled family member, and got back into the job market just last year.”

“None of my places of employment still hold records about me, per United Kingdom data protection laws, and my qualifications were woefully out of date.”

“How did I get the job?”

“My references were excellent, and detailed all the soft skills I had, and that the disabled family member is autistic, so I had experience dealing with ‘difficult’ people.”

“But I’d kept my practical knowledge in the field up to date, and asked pertinent questions to their field of work.”

“I stunned the interviewer by asking a question about F[iber] t[o] t[he] P[remises] internet.”

“Turned out they were hiring for an exclusively FTTP service.”

“And my existing knowledge of the technology involved, plus a 10/10 customer service question answer at the start of the interview, got the guy’s attention.”

“They actually only asked for my certificates after the interview when they’d already made me an offer.”

“Soft skills > Qualifications. Get the daughter out there to get some. But gently.” ~ EnigmaticSpirit85

“It must be different in other countries.”

“I was able to start university at 16.”

“My parents also had me working at 16.”

“They regretted it and didn’t require it of my sister, as they saw the stress it had.”

“I didn’t know that other countries had hard rules about starting university at 18+ I am curious where OP is though, as I had a few friends that went to university outside the U[nited] S[tates] at 16 too.”

“Knowing the US it could be specific states with this rule, but with those grades and finishing so early, kiddo would probably qualify for different out-of-state scholarships.”

“Oops. Didn’t catch OP was in U[nited] K[ingdom]. I am still confused though.”

“I have known a few people in the UK in university after 16 and before 18.” ~ IndigoTJo

“You’re not an AH for not wanting your daughter to just lie around and do nothing for 2 years.”

“However, I do agree with your daughter that you should back off a little.”

“It’s obvious she’s a very bright kid if she’s done with everything 2 years early and has all As.”

“She deserves at least the traditional length of a summer break (or whichever break is the longest where you live).”

“In any case, one month is too short a time to start pestering her about getting a job. YTA.”  ~ eleventh_hour_11

“YTA. You should have allowed her to have the normal trajectory of a teenager… instead she was not only homeschooled but ended 2 years early.”

“What social life does she have?”

“What impetus to have spending money of her own?”

“Independence of her own?”

“16 is young to think about every move being about college. She needs more.”

“I don’t think you’re an AH for wanting her to have a job… I had one at that age.”

“But I was motivated by the fact I wanted spending money and independence for my robust social life.”

“If she’s sitting around all day, doesn’t sound like she really has one.”  ~ Puzzleheaded-Big1680

Well OP, Reddit seems to have a few issues with your thoughts on the matter.

It’ll probably all blow over soon.

Sometimes kids just need a break.