Everyone passes gas, it’s just a part of the human digestive process. Although not pleasant most people are relatively I bothered by it or use the appropriate manners to excuse themselves. But sometimes the strong-winded individual may cause a bit of an issue.
A pregnant redditor by the screen name turnedthemachineoff with a sensitive nose and stomach turned to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for feedback on a stinky home situation.
She asked:
“AITA for leaving the room when my stepdaughter farts?”
The OP (Original Poster) let loose on the details:
“This may sound ridiculous but it’s actually an issue. I’m 34F, SO is 32M, stepdaughter is 7F. We’ve been together for 4 years.”
“I’m currently 25 weeks pregnant and for the most part I’ve been very comfortable even though this is my first pregnancy. I don’t really have food aversions or nausea and can eat just fine.”
”However my stepdaughter has absolutely HORRIBLE gas. She gets it from her mother (this is not an insult but a fact) because they’re both slightly lactose intolerant.”
“She can eat dairy but when she does her gas is the worst I’ve ever smelled. Of course her dad finds it hilarious and she’s only 7 so she’s not exactly polite or discrete about it.”
“I have never minded it and could always stomach it before but now the smell literally makes me want to vomit. I’ve started by trying to cover my nose or look like I need to do something elsewhere because I don’t want to make her feel bad.”
“But sometimes when it happens I have to jump up and leave immediately, not even the nearest room but halfway across the house. Sometimes this lasts for 15 minutes.”
“I haven’t mentioned anything to her except not to purposely do it on me — because her dad finds it hilarious, she sometimes tries to fart on me or him, but if she does it now she could potentially end up with a bunch of barf on her little head so I explained ‘Please don’t fart on me, my stomach doesn’t feel good a lot.’”
Things got harder when OP’s husband wasn’t supportive.
“She stopped after a bit but she still lets it rip when we’re on the couch watching TV or eating dinner. The last few times I’ve left my SO has told me later in private that it’s hurting his daughter’s feelings and that I don’t need to be so dramatic.”
“He even said covering my face is making a big deal about it. I said unless he wants me to be physically ill I have to leave or he has to talk about her passing gas in another room, which I think would be more embarrassing for her.”
“He’s been completely supportive and kind with everything else in this pregnancy and relationship, but I suspect his daughter is a soft spot even though he will be the first to say she drops atomic bombs.”
“AITA for leaving the room or covering my nose when my stepdaughter’s farts make me want to vomit?”
She added an edit to the post for more context. She said:
“I do not feed her dairy except for very small amounts of cheese here and there. She doesn’t drink milk here or have ice cream or butter or anything so I’m not sure if the issue happens at school/daycare or at her mom’s but I have done what I can to limit the amount of dairy at home.”
“She does not express any discomfort (belly aches, diarrhea, bloating) but just the terrible gas. It may not even be dairy entirely causing this problem, she could just have very stinky farts. I’ve done my due diligence and the rest is up to her parents.”
The OP asked Redditors to weigh in and rule:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided this pregnant mama was NTA here.
“NTA, you are pregnant, it’s totally normal to be sensitive to smells. It’s a good time to teach manners to a 7yo, you don’t want her to fart at her friends and she ends up becoming socially awkward.”~ WhiteJadedButterfly
“NTA. At 7, she is old enough for you to sit her down and explain that while, yes, farting on or near others isn’t pleasant or polite, it is literally not her. It’s you.”
“Explain to her how pregnancy changes some things, toss in a few examples of silly cravings you’ve had, or things you loved but now can’t stomach. Tell her how you love her, and you normally aren’t really bothered by her farts, and the smell isn’t her fault at all, but that pregnant women have very strong noses and very sensitive stomachs.”
“Maybe make a point by playing a game of ‘guess that smell’ where you close your eyes and have her hold up (unlit) candles or something while you tell her what the smell is. She is at an age where she should be able to empathize and be conscientious of trying to fart elsewhere or warn you so you can leave quickly.”
“When I was pregnant with our 3rd, I had HG and my nose was so sensitive that I couldn’t handle my husband doing the dishes with unscented dish soap across the house with our bedroom door shut (and me in the bedroom). I literally would start vomiting.”
“Your SO may be a bit oversensitive and worried about ‘when this baby comes, what if she treats them differently, or clearly loves the baby more?’ He may rationally know you aren’t a sh*tty person, but as a parent, that subconscious fear may be there.”
“Talk to him and tell him you love her very much, but kiddo is at a point to begin understanding what is socially acceptable and what is not so she doesn’t get picked on (because kids are often little assholes who jump on each other for being different), and that she understands it’s your stomach that doesn’t like her farts and not you who doesn’t like her.”~mommak2011
“Okay, I remember being seven and finding farts hilarious (… it’s twenty years later and I still find them hilarious), but your SO cannot keep encouraging this behaviour. It’s funny now, but it’ll be less funny if she tries to do it to her classmates at school and if she hasn’t been told that this is a family activity only, she might be confused when other people aren’t as giggly as her dad is.”
”By no means should she feel ashamed of her body or the sounds and smells it produces, but if no one’s told her that it’s more polite to excuse herself to fart when there are other people around, now might be an appropriate time to do so.”
“Other people might have sensitive stomachs just like she does, and that’s okay! NTA. I want to say no assholes here, but your SO needs a few basic reality checks first.”~WolrdsWorstWarlock
“NTA. Your husband is failing you here. Not everyone likes being in a room with smelly farts.”~Chairmanca93
Pregnancy nausea is no joke. Sounds like the perfect time to refine some bathroom manners.