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Woman Irate After Husband Calls Her ‘Stingy’ For Refusing To Share Takeout With Mother-In-Law

A woman resting a fork on an empty plate
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Sharing is caring.

That doesn’t mean we are always willing and eager to share with others, despite what we’ve been told and taught.

As some possessions of ours are simply too precious, delicate, or valuable to share with others.

Sharing food is a whole nother story, as many people don’t even think about sharing food with others.

Sometimes for hygienic reasons, sometimes simply because their food is too delicious and they want to eat all of it.

Redditor FrostyArgument565 was used to sharing food, having grown up in a large household.

However, the original poster (OP) was recently growing a bit tired of constantly sharing her food with her mother-in-law (MIL).

Eventually leading to the OP’s husband even going so far as to call her “stingy”.

Concerned this might be the case, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for not sharing my food with my in-laws?”

The OP explained why she was growing less and less inclined to share food with her MIL:

“I (24 F[emale]) grew up with 2 sisters so of course I was constantly forced to share everything especially food with them.”

“My husband (27 M[ale]) was an only child.”

“We live with his mom for the moment and what bothers me the most every time I bring home fast food or any other food for myself or the both of us, he offers it to his mother.”

“I wouldn’t have an issue picking up something for her as well but when he goes and offers something I bought for myself that I was excited to eat it irks me a little bit.”

“Well recently I was really craving Italian food.”

“Stuffed shells to be exact. My husband and I agreed to go pick up something from the local Italian place and bring it home to eat.”

“Well we get home and he instantly offers his mother some of our food but this time I protested and said she can have some of his dish because I wanted mine for myself.”

“He immediately got an attitude with me and said I wasn’t going to eat it all (the dish only had two large stuffed shells??) and told me I was being stingy.”

“His mom I guess kinda read the room and said she would just have some of his.”

“He then doubles down and basically tells her to take the other shell from my plate and puts it on her plate for her.”

This is was really irritated me because I then ended up still hungry after because half my dinner was given to his mom.”

“He offered some of his to me but he KNEW I didn’t like what I got.”

“My MIL is retired in her 70s.”

“She moved into our basement late last year due to needing to downsize because his father passed recently.”

“She’s not paying rent (which we are fine with).”

“We do not eat all together- only on occasion when I want to cook a very big meal or she offers to come up and cook something.”

“To conclude AITA for not wanting to share my food with her and was I being ‘stingy’.”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community stood firmly behind the OP, agreeing that she was not the a**hole for not wanting to share food with her MIL.

Everybody agreed that the issue wasn’t so much that the OP was unwilling to share food with her MIL, but rather that the OP’s husband was offering her food without asking her first, with many wondering how else the OP’s husband might be controlling her marriage:

“NTA.”

“Because honestly, it feels like a power play to me.”

“Like, did he not think in advance that he should get enough to share with his mom when you were at the restaurant?”

“How hard would it have been to think ‘oh, we should order an extra portion for mom!'”

“No, instead he took food off YOUR plate to give it to his mom, and to me, it just feels intentional.”

“If it really was just about sharing with her, he could’ve just given her some of his; the fact that he took your food away feels like a punishment of some sort, although I can’t really speculate what he’s trying to prove.”

“To me, it feels like he’s trying to put you in your place, because if he really did just want to share with his mom, the logical response seems to be to get enough food for everyone, instead of expecting you to go hungry.”- flaming_crisis

“He really took food off your plate after you said no?”

“That’s wild.”

“NTA at all.”- Desperate-Smothie

“NTA.”

“If your husband is going to offer food to a third person, he has to buy three people’s worth of food.”- davis_away

“NTA.”

“He can buy his mom food instead of offering yours.”

“Its just incredibly rude.”

“You need to have a serious talk with him and he needs to respect your no and discuss this first instead.”

“This would be totally unacceptable to me.”- flyingdemoncat

“WTF!”

“He took it off your plate?”

“NTA and this guy is a huuuuuge mamma’s boy and not at all respectful of you, especially since he knows your willing to order something for her if he’d just ask.”

“I’m one of those people who likes to share my food, but this would piss me off.”- Fit-Combination-6211

“NTA.”

“Notice he is only sharing your food and not his?”

“He is the one being really generous with food that is not his to share.”

“This isn’t about your sisters, this is about him being really inconsiderate to you.”

“Have a conversation with him during a time when you are not hungry.”

“Make it clear that you order what you are going to eat, and do not plan to share.”

“He is essentially making you go hungry so that he can feel good about sharing YOUR food.”

“You have no problem ordering extra for his family, and he is welcome to share his own food.”

“However, he is not welcome to offer YOUR food to anyone else.”

“Ask him why he is so insistent that the person going hungry is you?”

“It is kinda weird, his taking from your plate to feed his mom.”

“It is like he is signaling that she is just as important to him as you are.”

“If his mom were really reading the room, she would not have accepted your food.”

“Anyway, next time order two meals so he can feel like the generous son.”- Cosimia1964

“NTA.”

“I don’t know if this is normal for your culture, but, speaking as someone from the States, this shows blatant disrespect for you.”

“You need to have a sit-down with your husband and nip this in the bud, rather than wait until the next time you bring food into the house and there’s another fight.”- ElemWiz

“NTA!”

“This is a husband problem.”

“Talk to him about it outside of the actual situation.”

“If he won’t come to terms with you, I recommend ordering double every time you go out (as long as he pays) and take home a whole-ass meal for his mom.”

“Every. Single. Time.”

“Just pick one of your orders, and order double.”- OddInspector2657

“NTA.”

“I would lose my mind if someone gave my food away.”

“Why does he think he has the right to do that?”

“Why is mommy more important than you?”

“Why didn’t she insist she didn’t want your food?”

“He’s a disrespectful jerk, especially to turn it around and try to convince you you’re being stingy.”

“Wanting to eat enough food to be full that you bought for yourself is not stingy.”

“What kind of trash man lets his wife go hungry so he can give mummsies a snack?”- prevknamy

“You need to sit him down and tell him that you do not care what his feelings on the matter and that he is not allowed to ever offer someone your food again or anything that you own or have.”

“You need to be clear on this and any replies from him on ‘he think/ he feels’ you reject and tell him his feeling on the matter do not matte because this is your personal boundary on things that belong to you and he must follow it no matter how he feels about it.”

“If he does not show you this very basic respect you really need to rethink this relationship.”

“This kind of disregard and disrespect of you and your wants and ownership simply does not work in a relationship and will only escalate.”

“You spouse should want to give you everything, they should not want to give away what you have.”

“NTA.”- Federal-Emotion

Sharing only works when someone offers something of their own for others to partake it.

Forcing someone to share something against their well seldom ends well.

Considering the OP’s husband seems to be making his own mother eat whatever his wife is eating makes one really question who the “stingy” one in this situation actually is…

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.