Battle for the remote control in a household can be a struggle.
Families have crumbled over it. Even in this day and age of endless ways to consume media, for many, there is still something to be said for owning the living room TV.
Who gets to watch what and why? And for how long?
This can turn into a Hunger Games situation.
Redditor ThisIsUrMoment wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for taking over the living room to watch a TV show my husband doesn’t like every Friday night?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My (F[emale] 35) husband (M[ale] 35) and I live in a relatively small house with one area to watch TV.”
“We do have an unfinished basement that currently contains an area for working out, an area for doing laundry, and then the rest is storage.”
“For context, I do not work on Fridays, but my husband does.”
“My favorite show is RuPaul’s Drag Race, which airs on Friday nights.”
“My husband does not like this show, which is his right, and when I watch it, he feels the need to go in the basement for the entire hour and a half that it’s on.”
“It’s recently caused a lot of contention in our relationship because he feels that he shouldn’t have to be relegated to the basement on Friday nights after he works hard.”
“This is the only show that I watch when it airs, and I don’t like to record it and watch it later because I don’t want to see spoilers on social media, which are nearly impossible for me to avoid.”
“I just don’t think I’m being unreasonable by wanting to watch one show on one night of the week for an hour and a half. I’m not forcing him to go to the basement. He could easily go into the bedroom instead.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“Tell me Reddit, AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“So he hates the show so much he couldn’t stand going to the bedroom or staying in the main room doing something else even with headphones?”
“Phones and computers can stream entertainment quite easily in various forms.”
“Whining about not controlling the entertainment once a week for only the weeks the show is airing new episodes sounds like picking a fight.”
“He’s being dramatic.”
“He could even go for a walk or spend time with friends. NTA.” ~ TheGirlOnFireAndIce
“NTA. It’s his choice to sashay away. Nobody is telling him where to go.”
“So Shantay, you stay.”
“If he seriously can’t deal with you spending 90 whole minutes a week doing something you like that he’s not into, that’s a pretty shi**y husband, to be honest.” ~ kittygattochat
“Exactly this.”
“I rarely enjoy reality shows but I absolutely love Drag Race!!”
“Just amazing to see how skilled the contestants are; they are so creative, and I love seeing the looks they come up with.”
“You are NTA at all.”
“Couples have different tastes sometimes, which is a good thing.”
“If you support and respect your partner then you allow them to do what they love, you even encourage it because it makes them happy.”
“He doesn’t have to like it, but a supportive partner would pop you a bowl of popcorn, tuck you into the couch with your favorite beverage, and then cuddle up with their AirPods and watch something on their phone.”
“Your husband is throwing a fit because he can’t control 90 minutes of your entire week and is much more focused on placing his comfort and ego over your one simple pleasure.”
“Also- my (ex) husband didn’t want to watch it at first, but he still sat with me and played on his phone.”
“By the end of the episode, he was invested, and we watched every single season together and even saw the show live when they came to San Diego!” ~ liftlovelive
“NTA… he doesn’t need to go to the basement.”
“He decides to go to the basement.”
“He could wear headphones and watch something on his phone if he wanted to.”
“He could also go to your bedroom instead of the basement if that’s an option.”
“He’s intentionally making it inconvenient for him because he isn’t getting his way.” ~ crayonbox
“NTA. Why can’t he just work out while the show is on?”
“Is he unable to entertain himself for five minutes alone?”
“Could he not use this time to get a second TV?”
“Complaining so much about the few hours that you watch your favorite show makes no sense.”
“Perhaps something bigger is going on.” ~ youjumpIjumpJac
“I can sympathize with this pretty well.”
“My family wanted to watch this stupid overly dramatic renovation show and I didn’t.”
“So I play my computer when they watch it.”
“So NTA as it’s really easy to just not watch TV for a while.” ~ Archon-Toten
“NTA. He chooses to remove himself from the room.”
“He can pop in earbuds and read, social media, do any other hobby, etc.”
“He can watch his own show on his phone.”
“My husband watches football on the weekends.”
“I don’t enjoy football.”
“I sit with him and read.”
“We’re together and close, but not having to communicate and doing our own things.” ~ Sometimesitsamonkey
“This is what I do with my partner when he’s playing video games I read and listen to his game.”
“We do watch football together. 😉🏈”
“Definitely NTA; there are days I have a show going in the living room, and my boyfriend will watch something in the kitchen while cooking dinner.”
“OP’s husband is being a twit.” ~ Thats-Not-My-Name-80
“Hey OP. My sister loves all the reality shows on TLC.”
“Personally, I don’t like them at all and find them annoying.”
“But guess what?”
“When we lived together in a 2-bedroom apartment, I never once insinuated she couldn’t watch them.”
“Sometimes I’d sit and watch them with her.”
“Other times I’d put on headphones and listen to something else when I was in the kitchen/living room.”
“I like a lot of dark TV shows that my boyfriend doesn’t enjoy.”
“Sometimes he watches them with me, and other times he sits next to me on the couch and plays a video game on his computer so we can have ‘together alone time.’”
“Your husband is being ridiculous.”
“Has he never lived with another person before and had to share spaces?” ~ Egoteen
“NTA. Is he not capable of going out of the house or showering or doing anything else besides moping in the basement?”
“I get that he’s tired after work… okay then, maybe go do something fun with friends or shower and go to bed, play on your phone- it’s not that hard to find something to do for an hour and a half once a week.” ~ jessisoldschool
“One of the great parts about being an adult is having the ability to make our own decisions.”
“He can choose not to watch it, find something else he wants to do instead, and not make a federal case out of it.”
“Problem solved!” ~ Boston_Jayhawk
“NTA. It’s one show, one night.”
“It’s not EVERY FRIDAY FOREVER.”
“He can either get himself a headset and do ‘separate activities together,’ hang in your bedroom, or do a combo of those things and be in the basement if he just truly cannot handle hearing the sound of drag queens once a week.” ~ Violet_Squid
“NTA. I watch TV on my laptop with headphones almost every night because my partner and I have differing tastes.”
“I don’t whine about it.”
“I’m sure your husband can cope with 1.5 hours on a Friday for a few weeks a year.” ~ Ornery_Crab
“NTA. You don’t FORCE him to stay in the basement.”
“He could literally be anywhere in the house, but he feels the need to hide in the basement.”
“Sounds like he’s afraid he’s gonna be attracted to a drag queen 💀.” ~ ginger_enbie
“NTA. So… I grew up in a 90s household with two TVs and 5 other people – no smartphones/tablets.”
“When the TVs were occupied on programs somebody didn’t want to watch, we did literally anything else.”
“Today, when I don’t want to watch a ‘particular football game of the week,’ I put on a podcast, watch videos on my phone on the couch, fold laundry, read a book, work on a hobby…”
“He could problem-solve here and is choosing not to.” ~ quidyn
“NTA. One show, one night a week.”
“He can deal.”
“Does the man have friends? Hobbies?”
“Great time for a guy’s night dinner with his buddies, run to the gym, read a damn book.”
“Anything but sulk like a threatened baby, basically.” ~ GreenEggsSteamedHams
“NTA… lol. Perhaps treat him like the toddler he’s behaving like.”
“Affirm his feelings and give him some compassionate suggestions of how to look at the situation differently, while firmly but kindly holding your boundaries strong.”
“He’ll learn eventually. Lol.” ~ bloopidbloroscope
“NTA. It’s not as though you’re saying ‘Begone! Off to the basement with you!'”
“He’s choosing to go to the basement instead of the bedroom because the basement works better for his “pitiful neglected husband” shtick.”
“Don’t fall for it.”
“Obviously people can like or not like whatever they want, but is this some sort of homophobia thing?” ~ Creepy_Creme_9161
“NTA. When my spouse watches his car shows, I pop in one earbud to listen to a podcast or audiobook and crochet, journal, or play games on my iPad.”
“With just one bud in, I can still converse here and there, but it still provides a welcome distraction to Clarkson.” ~ lolagranolacan
“NTA. It’s an hour and a half.”
“My husband and I spend lots of time together on the couch with our dogs.”
“If I’m watching a show he’s not interested in, he watches stuff on his phone.”
“And vice versa.”
“Your husband’s issue is the content as others have suggested.”
“Highly doubt he’d shun the TV and hide in the basement if the show was Chicago Med or something else along those lines.” ~ Allthetea159
“Sounds like he’s got an hour and a half every week to finish the basement, NTA.” ~ schec1
“NTA. There are plenty of shows my wife likes to watch that I don’t (not Drag Race though, we both love it and I was actually the one who got her into it), and when she wants to watch one of hers I.”
“Play a game on Xbox.”
“Or tinker with my 3D printer.”
“Or play with the cats.”
“Or read a book.”
“Or watch YouTube.”
“Or post on Reddit.”
“Or do the dishes.”
“Or write some code for a project.”
“Or exercise.”
“Or literally, any other thing I’m interested in.”
“Him finding something else to do for a single 90 minutes a week shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Is TV literally the only thing he likes to do?”
“If so, that’s sad.”
“Obviously NTA.” ~ jrallen7
“NTA. He can shasay stay in the basement.” ~ Ok_Cap9557
“NTA. Football season.”
“The entire household is ignored for 4 hrs 2-3 times a week.” ~ Peskypoints
“NTA. He’s not relegated to the basement; he’s choosing to go to the basement.”
“He could be anywhere else in the house and ignore what you’re watching.” ~ Kirstemis
“NTA. There are moments of give and take.”
“Does he ever watch shows you don’t like?”
“As long as these things are considered and discussed, he should be okay with you watching your fave show for 16 weeks.” ~ Bootiebloot
“NTA. When my fam watches something I don’t want to or like, I go to my Cher Shed or my room and do my thing.”
“Case closed.” ~ Piano-Beginning
OP had a response…
“I want to add some context because I feel like some of you guys are getting the wrong idea about my husband, and that’s my fault for not being clearer in my original post.”
“He is not a homophobic or transphobic person; he just doesn’t like reality shows and finds this particular show to be extremely annoying.”
“I do not fault him for this, as he is into stuff that I find annoying as well.”
“But he is not hateful or have anything against drag queens; it’s just not his thing, which there is absolutely nothing wrong with.”
Reddit supports you, OP.
Your husband is being over the top.
It’s your house as well.
It’s only an hour and a half, once a week.
He’ll survive.
Yes, people living together need to learn how to share space. That’s a two-way street situation.
Good luck.