It does a village to help raise children.
That village, though, is working off the cues of parents.
Just because some parents are lucky enough to have villages, that doesn’t mean they relinquish any responsibilities.
Children are always finding ways to stir up trouble.
Redditor Key_Layer5084 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITAH for not separating drinks in a cooler?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Last weekend I hosted a small barbecue at my house.”
“I invited a few friends and some neighbors since the weather was nice.”
“One of my neighbors brought their young kid, who is about eight years old.”
“I set out food, drinks, and a cooler with beer and soda.”
“Everything was going fine until I noticed the kid had taken one of the beers from the cooler.”
“I immediately took it away and told him that it was not for him.”
“The neighbor got upset and said I should not have put alcohol where kids could reach it.”
“I was confused because the cooler was sitting on the patio next to the grill, clearly full of beer cans, and I did not expect an eight-year-old to just grab one without asking.”
“I told the parent that they should keep an eye on their child.”
“The parent got defensive and left early with the kid.”
“Now word has gotten around to some of the other neighbors, and I feel like people are whispering about me being careless.”
“I feel bad because I did not want anyone to feel uncomfortable at my house, but at the same time, I do not think it was my responsibility to childproof everything when there were parents right there.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So am I the a**hole for not separating the beer cooler from the rest of the food at my barbecue, or should the parent have been more responsible for watching their child?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“A neighbor’s BBQ is not free childcare.”
“They should have been watching their child.”
“Rather than apologize for their child taking without asking, they tried to shift the blame to you. NTA.” ~ BorderlineTG
“Love it when people think that other people should child-proof your home because they have kids over.”
“How about you watch your darn kid yourself?” ~ bklynking1999
“Or when NEITHER parent wants to watch their kids and tries to fob it off on other friends or family.”
“We watched my cousin and his wife lead their young children out onto the deck where my wife was sitting, look at each other, then dash back inside.”
“We calmly got up and walked inside, too.”
“We don’t have kids on purpose.”
“We aren’t watching YOURS. NTA.” ~ anonanon-do-do-do
“A scolding hot BBQ is also dangerous for children.”
“So is cutlery.”
“There are probably a dozen other ‘dangerous’ things at any party for children, like pulling on the tablecloth with a hot pan or drinks on the table, falling into the garden pond, going through someone’s purse and mistaking the pill bottle for candy, wandering off premises into traffic, eating something they are allergic to.”
“It’s the parents who need to keep their child safe, or decide not to go somewhere dangerous with kids.” ~ Bobbejan_Teleborian
“NTA – Anyone old enough to drink whatever they want without needing parental permission is old enough to read.”
“Beyond that, beer is not appetizing unless you are used to the taste or desire the alcoholic effect.”
“An 8-year-old fits neither of those categories, so something weird is going on there.”
“This is 100% on the parents.” ~ Maleficent_Web_6034
“Definitely NTA, but I disagree that ‘something weird is going on’ because the child grabbed a beer.”
“Beer being ‘not allowed’ can be enough for a child to grab it when their parents aren’t looking.” ~ Baby_Rhino
“Agreed, and I don’t think it even needs to be intentional.”
“Just because an 8-year-old can read doesn’t mean they are actually paying attention, nor that they would immediately recognize that any particular can was beer.”
“Lots of cans have fancy designs that wouldn’t immediately give away it’s a beer if you didn’t know better.”
“A couple of years ago, I was at a party where a full-grown adult didn’t realize the seltzer she grabbed was alcoholic because she didn’t know the brand name and didn’t read it very closely after she assumed she knew what it was.” ~ StatePsychological60
“Au contraire, on kiddos and beer tastes!”
“My sister LOVED the taste of beer so much that my parents used to get O’Douls for her at home.”
“I won’t get into whether or not my parents were right or wrong for that, but there are weirdo alien kids who like beer taste, even crappy beer taste like O’Douls.”
“Maybe their kid is one of them.”
“But regardless, I completely agree that OP is NTA and this is entirely on the parents.” ~ Fierywordess
“I mean, generally if there’s kids there, you would have a cooler for the kids and one for the adults.”
“But at the same time, it’s on the parent to check that and to tell the kid what they can and can’t have.”
“I feel like this is going to vary by your location and culture, too.” ~ Naive_Pay_7066
“Was the kid the only child at the barbecue?”
“If so, it seems kinda silly to have a separate cooler.”
“If there were more kids, it might make sense to have a separate soda cooler, but even then, the parents need to keep at least a loose eye on their children.”
“Growing up, my parents entertained a lot, and many of their friends did as well.”
“We were told by our parents which drinks were for us vs. the adults, and they weren’t necessarily in separate coolers.”
“An 8-year-old can read the word ‘beer,’ ‘ale,’ or ‘IPA’ (or Lagunitas, Coors, Blue Moon, etc.) vs. Coke, Sprite, Dr Pepper, etc.”
“Of course, my parents’ friends would’ve stepped in and taken a beer away if they’d seen us with one (as you did), but the onus was on the parents, not the hosts.”
“It sounds like the parent realized they weren’t watching their child, was embarrassed by that, and lashed out and blamed you, vs. taking responsibility and instructing their kid on what not to do. NTA.” ~ Abject_Grapefruit558
“NTA. People should be supervising what their kids are doing.” ~ CherryStatic
“NTA – Parents need to parent.”
“If the kid isn’t smart/wise enough to recognize the things he drinks, the parents should’ve attended to his needs before he attempted to fend for himself.”
“Or maybe their reaction was just a cover to hide the fact that their 8-year-old regularly consumes beer at home.” ~ MechanicLoose2634
“That’s 100% a parenting issue – a child should not be helping themselves to food or drinks at someone else’s house without asking.” ~ Independent-Truth891
“NTA. I think the parent is probably more embarrassed that you noticed their kid had a beer and they didn’t.” ~ Arterial3
“NTA. My parents used to take us to work events, and there would be Jell-O shots lying around on the picnic tables.”
“It was their responsibility to tell us not to eat the yummy Jell-O.”
“It was definitely not the responsibility of the organizer to make the event kid-proof.” ~ UnicornVoodooDoll
“NTA is completely normal for all the drinks to go in together.”
“8 years old is more than old enough to know the beer is for the adults.”
“I doubt the kid would have been able to get the beer open anyway.” ~ AriasK
“Would it be a nice thing to have alcoholic drinks separate from the non-alcoholic ones? Sure.”
“There are enough hard root beer/lemonade/spritzers that are easily confused for the non-hard versions that it’s easy for a kid to never notice the difference when they pick it up.”
“Is it the parents’ responsibility to get drinks for their kid? Absolutely. NTA.” ~ drossdragon
“Sounds like you’re the cool neighbor to me.”
“All the kids are gonna want to come over now.”
“But seriously, NTA.”
“Parents still gotta parent, that’s on them, not you.” ~ neoprenewedgie
“NTA. Parents look after their kids.”
“Or the surrounding adults.”
“If you don’t want to watch your kids, don’t go, or go without them.”
“When I was a kid, there were mixed coolers and no one blinked an eye.”
“And I never (or other kids) went for alcohol.” ~ Jane-Doe202
“Same here.”
“And my parents did a lot of business entertaining.”
“The pop bottles and liquor bottles were together on the same table as they were used for mixing.”
“We definitely knew from the age of 4 or 5 what was adult ‘pop’ and kid pop.”
“And we were taught to ask mom or dad before taking some.” ~ MurkyInvestigator622
“A couple of years back, my 8-year-old nephew wandered off for a second and grabbed a white claw out of some random cooler while we were tailgating.”
“It was half gone before his parents found him (like 10 minutes later).”
“It wasn’t the other tailgater’s fault that happened.”
“His parents should’ve had a closer eye on him.”
“But it’s not that deep.”
“S**t happens.” ~ Commercial-Place6793
“NTA. Even though I would personally separate beer from pop/juice/water.”
“I would also make sure MY OWN kid is grabbing what they are supposed to be grabbing from coolers.”
“If parents think you had genuine bad intentions by not separating them, I wish they would’ve seen my parents growing up.”
“My parents brought 1 water each for my sister and me, a cooler FULL of beer, and once our waters were gone, we were allowed to put some ice in the bottles and let it melt for a drink.” ~ Ok_Guest7053
“NTA, the other cooler would be right next to it.”
“If the parent isn’t watching their kid, what is to prevent them from finding it anyway?” ~ messiemessiemessie
Reddit has your back, OP.
Parents are still responsible for their kids at parties, especially adult parties.
You can’t be everywhere all of the time when hosting.
This parent could have easily and politely asked you to separate the drinks when they arrived.
There was no need to chastise you.