Lending our things to friends and family is a courtesy, but shouldn’t always be a responsibility.
If doing so could help others who find themselves in a fairly serious situation, then the right thing would be to let them borrow it and help them out.
But if you have concerns that whatever has been requested might not return to you in the condition you lent it, or if you’d even get it back at all, then it is perfectly reasonable to say no.
Redditor truckdisputeguy had recently made a purchase they were very proud of, and which they were determined to take good care of.
So when their brother asked if they could borrow it for a project which could inflict significant damage upon it, they were less than eager to say “yes”.
Wondering if they were being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not letting my brother use my new, to me, truck for hauling a ton of concrete?”
The OP explained how after lots of hard work, they were able to make a purchase they had been dreaming of for some time, and their determination to take good care of it.
“About a month ago, I bought a ‘dream car’ of mine.”
“It’s a 2019 Ford Raptor.”
“It took me a while to be able to afford but I worked hard to be able to get it while I’m still young, 23.”
“I’m finishing a degree and working and the truck was something nice for me that I’ve wanted for a long time.”
“After I bought, I sent my brothers and sisters pictures and told them I’d make a lot more road-trips to see them now because we live two states apart.”
“I also told them all in our group chat how I went ahead and got new shocks put on it when I bought since I didn’t want to worry about if the previous owner got the original ones rebuilt.”
“And I also made clear that while I do intend to take the truck off-road, I’m not about beat it up.”
“Yes, it is a pavement Princess.”
“It’s a cool truck that’s off-road capable but I can’t just go buy another one if I break this one.”
“We also joked in our group chat about how I’m never gonna use it as a truck and haul or tow anything.”
“Maybe I’ll buy a trailer for my motorcycle at some point and tow that, but the heaviest thing I expect this truck to haul is a barbell and a few plates I’m gonna pick up in a week or so.”
A short while later, their brother asked if they could borrow their truck for a project the OP wasn’t sure it could handle.
‘This past weekend I made the trip to where my family lives because I wanted to show everyone the truck and drive my nieces and nephews around in it.”
“Everything was chill until my brother asked me if we could pick up an order of his from Lowe’s.”
“My answer was: ‘Uhhhh depending on what it is, sure, we’ll see’.”
“He said: ‘oh it’s just a few bags of concrete’.”
“That didn’t bother me.”
“I don’t give a sh*t if the truck is dirty, in fact I like it dirty.”
“A ‘few bags of concrete’ to me describes some number less than 10.”
“It was an entire f*cking pallet.”
“I did the math and that sh*t was over 3000lbs.”
“I told him no and that I’d even go half with him on renting one of their trucks but hell no I’m not putting that weight in mine.”
“He got mad and said ‘You really gonna act like that over this truck?’”
“You damn right I am.”
“I didn’t trick you and I don’t think I’m being unreasonable at all.”
“We did end up renting a truck and move the concrete that way.”
“All of our sisters and our other brother were on my side.”
“One sister said: ‘His truck isn’t even made for carrying all that’.”
“‘It’s a big toy’.”
“‘It’s like a sports car’.”
“I agree with her 100%’.”
“‘It’s not like I bought a heavy duty work truck and refused to let him use it’.”
“Our dad and uncle took his side, but they’re old school dudes who don’t understand the idea of a truck that doesn’t carry or tow stuff.”
“Which, listen, that’s kinda fair.”
“It is a silly thing.”
“But it’s MY silly thing.”
“Mama was just in a happiness coma from having every child and grandchild in the same building for once so we didn’t get her thoughts at the time.”
“But I did wake up today to a text from her that mentioned something about being there for family.”
“She could have just been talking generally but my mama guilt powers so strong I’m really starting to worry about if I was wrong.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to lend their brother their truck.
Everyone agreed that the truck being theirs, they had every right to say no to any request, particularly one which it likely wasn’t equipped to handle.
“NTA.”
‘The 2021 Ford raptor has a payload limit of 1400 pounds, I assume 2019 is similar.”
“This would have broken your vehicle.”- Own_Pop_9711
“NTA.”
“Your car, your rules.”
“You could have made 2-3 trips, but it’s just cheap to try to save some bucks by refusing the delivery.”- Yonderboy111
“NTA.”
“Welcome to being a truck owner, though.”
“Your truck?”
“Our truck.”- ooooooooooooolivia
“NTA.”
“Why was your brother buying so much concrete if he couldn’t transport it!”
“Totally not your responsibility and, as you said, the truck can’t handle that weight so don’t do it.”
“Stick to your guns.”- EllieMacAus19
“NTA.”
“When you say you’re willing to help pick up an order, it means within the car’s capability.”
“Your brother was asking you to exceed the payload capacity by 300%, which would have been unsafe, illegal, and damaging to the car.”
“Whoever sides with him on that is a moron.”- RecedingQuasar
“But you WERE there for your family, you helped pay for a truck designed to carry that load.”
“NTA.”- evilslothofdoom
“NTA.”
“Lol.”
“you paid for the truck, he didn’t.”
“So he can’t say anything, his opinion on the matter is completely void/useless.”
“Does he really feel so entitled that he bought that much cement and just decided on his own that you will take it all on your new truck for him?”- Shimori01
“Yep.”
“Even if you had a ‘standard’ truck, you’re under no obligation to put 3000lbs of concrete in it.”
“Further, your brother lied.”
“A pallet is NOT a few bags.”
“NTA.”
“Good luck!”- BradWTodd
“NTA.”
“You can’t carry what it’s not capable of carrying.”
“You’re risking damage to your vehicle for something pointless.”
“Forget your brother and your dad, just tell your mom it’s not capable of carrying it.”
“As long as she’s happy and you don’t get the momma guilt all is well in the world.”- GiantPixi
“NTA.”
“And I think the raptor can only haul 2000lbs or less, it’s not a work truck.”
“Your right, it’s a sports car with a truck bed.”- pickmeacoolname
“NTA.”
“You aren’t being precious, your vehicle literally isn’t rated for that kind of weight.”- pluckyminna
“No Ford 150 Supercrew cab pickup is rated to carry 3000lbs+ of weight.”
“And the load ratings include the weight of the passengers so you would be exceeding the load capacity by quite a bit.”- slap_ya
“NTA my husband has a heavy duty and he wouldn’t put that much concrete in his truck.”
“And he hauls everything.”
“Vehicles are expensive you have to take care of them.”- Lonely_Shelter_4744
“NTA.”
“Your vehicle, your rules.”
“What you’d told them when you got it is irrelevant, but if dues show how much more if an AH your brother is.”
“And I can’t believe you paid money for him to have a way to haul his concrete.”
“Makes me wonder if he’s going to keep pulling this stunt.”
“BTW, get used to people asking you to haul things.”- Wild-Pie-7041
“NTA.’
“Tell your dad to Google Ford Raptor weight in bed or do it for him.”
“I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to damage your car.”
“Anyone ordering 3000lbs of concrete should know better too.”
“How was your brother going to get this concrete home if you didn’t have a truck?”
“No need to even help pay to rent a truck.”
“He just wants to ruin your new toy and have his concrete too.”- UltNinjaPS
No matter what the favor was, the OP had every right to say no.
But considering the favor could have actually damaged the truck they worked so hard for made his refusal to lend their truck all the more understandable.
And seeing that the OP seems to have a strong relationship with their parents and all their siblings, one has little doubt that the OP will be there for their family many times going forward.