To crate or not to crate?
That is the question when traveling with pets. Some dogs, cats, or other critters do well in a vehicle while some can be a hazard, jumping around or otherwise distracting the driver.
In the latter case, the pet needs to crated or contained to one area somehow. Safety before comfort—for everyone in the vehicle, whether they’re 2-legged, 4-legged, finned, furred, scaled, or feathered.
A woman dealing with the potential of traveling with a poorly behaved dog turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Hmmstgoob asked:
“AITA for not allowing my sister’s dogs loose in my new car?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I (21, female) and my sister (19, female) are going to Thanksgiving at our Nana’s next month. She lives in a small town in Missouri about 3 hours away. We live in Oklahoma.”
“My sister doesn’t have a driver’s license, car, or a job. So it was implied I would be taking her with me. I was fine with that.”
“My sister brought it up to me that she would be bringing her two dogs with her. She immediately added that they will be free roaming in the car before I could say anything to the first statement.”
“I told her I would not be okay with that because it’s a brand new car and her one of her two dogs is very misbehaved. They are both smallish dogs that are about 20lbs each.”
“I told her I’m fine with having them in crates, secured in the back. I drive a new Toyota RAV4. So there is plenty of space for some roomy crates and there is plenty of airflow.”
“She told me I can’t expect her to make her do that to her dogs. I told her that, ‘yes in fact I can. It’s my car and your free ride to Grandmas’.”
“She told me I WILL let them free roam. I told her she doesn’t get to decide that.”
“She then says, ‘I’m not telling you, I’m demanding you’. Her dogs literally start fighting while we are talking.”
“I tell her ‘you can find a ride then’. She then tells me to leave and go back to my apartment.”
“AITA?”
The OP later added:
“Yes, my Nana is aware the dogs will be coming because my sister lives with our dad, and my dad doesn’t enjoy having to take care of them. He is most definitely not a dog person. She also got one of the dogs from our Nana.”
“The car is an SUV, so the back is not closed off from the cabin at all. The dogs would be visible from the back seat.”
“I have cloth seats that would just be a magnet for dog hair and dog stink. She doesn’t keep her dogs groomed very well at all, and simply petting one for a few seconds will stink up your hand.”
“There are no clear laws for the state of Oklahoma or Missouri that have requirements for dog restraints.”
“The first dog she got was when she was around 13. She did a lot of proving her responsibility to my dad that she could take care of it. That’s the dog that is really well behaved.”
“The second dog she got when she was living with her now ex-boyfriend. The dog is blind and very aggressive.”
“They broke up, and she is back to living with dad. She’s going to University and that’s her excuse for not having a job….Dad pays for the dog food.”
The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.
“My sister demands I let her dogs free roam in my brand new car and is being super unreasonable.”
“I told my sister I wouldn’t let her bring her dogs loose in my new car. I am her only ride to go on a three-hour trip that she wants to bring her dogs to.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA. Having them crated to drive safely isn’t negotiable. Your car, your rules. Your sister sounds entitled.” ~ Sufficient_Engine_38
“NTA. Crating dogs for a road trip is just common sense; it’s safer for everyone. Your sister needs to realize she’s getting a free ride and can’t make demands.” ~ karen41065
“You don’t want them becoming projectiles in an accident.” ~ Dogandcatslady
“Also, pets have been lost when a window is broken in an accident, and the pet is terrified and runs off into unknown territory, never to be seen again. There is also the risk of them jumping out at a stop for snacks and being squashed in a busy Quick Mart parking lot.” ~ flyinghotbacon
“NTA. At this point, even if she agreed to crate her dogs, I still wouldn’t take her. The level of disrespect and lack of maturity is just too much.” ~ Ok_Tonight_3703
“I would not trust her to keep the dogs in the crates. Leave her.” ~ Next-Wishbone1404
“Precisely. Them being let out while OP is driving (and maybe start fighting/being rowdy) is incredibly dangerous. Can’t risk that now with the entitlement she showed when she demanded literally anything. And in her own words no less!” ~ Theotherone56
“NTA. Once someone shows that kind of attitude, it’s not worth the stress. Better to just keep your peace.” ~ rufenputsen
“NTA, regardless of whether it is your car or not, dogs should be in crates when traveling for the safety of the driver, passengers and the dogs.” ~ SnooSprouts6437
“Or secured via harnesses to the seat belts or kids car seat brackets. With a pet seat cover. Free roaming is not acceptable. Those sharp claws can damage the upholstery and interior surfaces and like a child, a dog will got flying if the driver has to brake hard or in an accident.” ~ planespotterhvn
“They do make seatbelts for dogs. Dogs should be secured in a moving vehicle just like people, if there is a crash it will help them be safer and everyone else in the car safer. Dogs are not magically immune to gravity. NTA.” ~ shelwood46
“In my hometown a few years ago, there was an accident on a very, very busy stretch of motorway. Luckily, no one was seriously hurt, but the poor, terrified, unsecured dog in one of the vehicles escaped from the vehicle and disappeared over the embankment.”
“It was 3 or 4 days until they found him, thankfully unhurt, but it could have ended very badly, not only for the dog, but also for other drivers on the motorway, and the searchers looking for the dog.” ~ ruby-lost
“Aside from the interior of your car… You know what dogs sound like when that car gets in an accident‽ I do.”
“Tennis shoes in the dryer, that’s what it sounds like, as they smack their head on the side window, then the roof, then the console, then the side window again.”
“My 100 lb, well-behaved Shep has a crash-tested harness and is in a 5-point restraint system while in the car. In the past, I’ve taken the seats out of my minivan to use the seat anchors for strapping down crates. Anything to keep my babies safe.”
“Your sister needs to be a more responsible pet owner.” ~ ohwhatnowFFS
“My wife’s stepdad worked for a tow company that would respond to state patrol for major accidents. Whenever he saw people driving around with their dogs on their laps, he would say, ‘Oh, there’s another pancake puppy’.”
“When that airbag goes off, it crushes the animal into your chest/face, usually killing it instantly (hopefully) and causing you additional harm because the airbag was designed for a bigger gap.” ~ DrWhoey
“Not to mention that any unsecured ‘objects’ are dangerous projectiles in a crash. While 20lbs doesn’t sound like a lot, an accident at speed will multiply their mass into something that can do much more harm. I’m not great at the maths, but there are online calculators out there.”
“Also unsecured animals can freak out and obstruct the driver, or crawl under the brake pedal if small enough.”
“I won’t ride in a car with an unsecured pet, regardless of size. My two dogs (~75lbs each) also have crash-tested harnesses that buckle into the car’s built-in restraints. They never ride without them, just like I would never drive a person without them wearing their seat belt. NTA.” ~ Lazy-Parker
“NTA! Dogs should never free roam in a car! What happens if heaven forbid, you all get into an accident? If they weren’t in a car seat or secured with a doggy seatbelt, what does your sister think will happen? She needs to be a better dog mom and think about the safety of her dogs.” ~ sparklingrubes
“NTA. If your sister or any other family members raise the issue again, tell them that the ASPCA, numerous other animal welfare organizations and news organizations all say animals should be restrained during travel for their own safety and that of other passengers.”
“You know how humans use seat belts? Pets should be buckled in or crated for their safety, too.” ~ Parking_Tangelo_6567
The OP provided an update:
“Thank you all for confirming my doubts were unfounded. She was being manipulative as f*ck, and I started to doubt myself over the situation. I was thinking I was being irrational over this.”
We hope they have a safe drive with everyone buckled up and secure.
Everyone arriving safely is more than enough to be thankful for.