It’s something of a cliché for people to have a tense relationship with their mother-in-law (MIL).
And indeed, this isn’t always the case, as some people find themselves having a stronger and healthier relationship with their MILs than with their own mothers.
Unfortunately, some MILs live up to the “Monster-in-Law” stereotype and often look for any and all opportunities to annoy their child’s spouse.
More than often, hurting their child’s marriage.
A recent Redditor was expecting their first child and was diligently following her doctor’s advice to keep herself and her unborn baby healthy.
Unfortunately, the original poster (OP)’s MIL did not see eye to eye with her on how she was conducting herself during pregnancy.
Eventually leading the OP to tell her to “piss off.”
Having some regrets about her conduct, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for Telling My MIL to Piss Off After She Criticized Me for Going to the Gym While Pregnant?”
The OP explained why things grew a bit more than heated with her MIL:
“I (28 F[emale]) am currently pregnant and have been staying active by going to the gym, as my doctor has assured me it’s perfectly safe.”
“I don’t do anything extreme—just light weights, walking, and stretching to stay healthy for myself and the baby.”
“My MIL.”
“She’s been making constant comments about how I’m ‘selfish’ and ‘putting my baby in danger’ by working out.”
“She even told me I’m ‘asking for a miscarriage’ by not just sitting at home and ‘acting like a proper pregnant woman’.”
“I’ve tried explaining that my doctor is on board, but she won’t listen.”
“Today, she pushed it too far, saying I was going to ‘regret it when something happens’.”
“I snapped and told her to piss off and stop sticking her nose in my business.”
“Now she’s playing the victim, saying I was ‘disrespectful’ and that I should apologize.”
“My husband is on my side but thinks I could’ve handled it more calmly.”
“AITA for snapping at her?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for snapping at their MIL.
Everyone thought that the OP’s MIL was completely out of line, with many admitting they likely wouldn’t have been as diplomatic as the OP was.
“You’re NTA.”
“Her judgmental comments are rude, intrusive, and ignorant.”
“‘My husband is on my side but thinks I could’ve handled it more calmly’.”
“Then he should have intervened when it started and handled his mother’s behavior before it pushed you over the edge.”- Dittoheadforever
“NTA.”
“You don’t prophetise a miscarriage to a pregnant woman.”
“Like never.”
“Your reaction was even too calm.”- Chocolatecandybar_
“NTA.”
“She kept pushing even after she was told this was medically approved.”
“She deserved to be snapped at.”
“Your husband is wrong to suggest you could have handled it differently & you should tell him so.”
“HE now needs to take over this situation and have a sit down with her where HE makes it abundantly clear to her that SHE is the ONLY one in the wrong, and he expects HER to apologize to you.”
“Anything less than this is not acceptable.”
“It’s not your problem that she is ignorant and stuck in the past.”
“And this won’t be the last thing she criticises you for. It’s only the first.”
“Anything different to how she raised her kids 30 years ago will be ‘wrong’ or signs of you being a ‘bad parent’.”
“Unless YOUR HUSBAND shuts that the hell down NOW.”
“At the moment you have a MIL problem, but if HE won’t stand up and properly support you in this then you have a husband problem too.”- MrsSEM84
“NTA.”
“I can’t stand it when the world thinks exercise is some dangerous thing a pregnant woman shouldn’t do.”
“She is not a midwife or doctor.”- ComprehensiveCity283
“I have one of those ‘Household Maintenance’ cookbooks and life guides for women.”
“It’s published in the 1960s.”
“It has a section on pregnancy and says that light housework is OK and also gives exercises to do daily to keep healthy.”
“Bearing in mind that housework then would be a lot more physical than today’.”
“NTA your MIL is a PITA.”
“But you have a husband problem, and you need to get him on your side asap.”-
firefly232
“NTA.”
“That woman would be out the door so fast! I don’t know where this idea came from that all women should just plonk on their backside for 9 months to ensure a healthy baby.”
“Women worked for millennia while pregnant, they cooked cleaned, cared for other children, fought off tigers and chased dinosaurs (maybe).”
“Women are still Human beings, and bodies need to move in order to stay useful… “
“Exercise during pregnancy can prevent gestational diabetes, help prevent a C-section, ensure quicker healing post birth etc etc etc.”
“If doctor has ok’d it then MIL needs to shut it.”- International-Fee255
“NTA.”
“I’ve never been pregnant, and I even know that pregnant women can work out to the level that they were before they were pregnant.”- FairyFartDaydreams
“100% NTA.”
“Your doctor said it’s safe to work out.”
“You also put up with comments that are way beyond ok.”
“‘I snapped and told her to piss off and stop sticking her nose in my business’.”
“She’s the one who’s been disrespectful, compounded by militant ignorance’.”
“No way should you be the one apologizing.”
“If your husband had told her to keep her nose out when she started you wouldn’t have been pushed to breaking point.”
“All the best with everything.”- Apart-Ad-6518
“Obviously NTA.”
“Telling bossy MiLs to piss off is perfectly natural.”
“Maybe you could have been cool in your response rather than heated, but it sounds like she pushed the point rudely.”
“Tell your husband he can deal with his mother … he might remind ma that pissing off the mother of her grandchild is a losing move if hoping to be involved with grandchild.”- au5000
“MIL’s can be so great and/or so challenging.”
“It’s very important for both your mental health and your relationship to set clear boundaries and defend them (respectfully when possible) at all costs.”
“It seems as though you tried to go that route, and she continued to push, so it is what it is.”
“You could apologize for the words or tone you used if necessary while still being clear that you will not tolerate her badgering or interference.”
“Congratulations and good luck!”
“NTA.”- Forward-Dingo1431
“NTA.”
“Remind him of all the times you tried to handle it calmly but she wouldn’t let it drop.”
“Do not apologize because that sends the message that she can walk all over you and disrespect any boundaries you may have for your baby.”
“Any complaints from other family members can be answered with a simple email saying stop.”
“After they ask why you sent them that explain they weren’t there nor do they care to hear the truth so they need to just stop.”- Pepsilover12
“NTA.”
“Your husband needs to get involved and tell her to back off.”
“Why is he ok allowing his mother to talk to you this way?”-
rojita369
“NTA.”
“You’re not suddenly just a vessel for her grandchild instead of a woman who’s pregnant and your exercise routine is absolutely none of her business.”
“Her behavior is invasive, inappropriate and creepy.”- B*tchbuttondontpush
“NTA.”
“How does she even know you are going to the gym?”
“Do you live with her?”
“If not don’t tell her anything going forward.”
“Sounds like she is gonna be a pain though once the baby is here.”- acryingshame93
“NTA.”
“You are not required to pretend to respect someone who disrespects you.”- Snurgisdr
“NTA.”
“You did handle it calmly at first.”
“You only snapped when your MIL would not shut up/listen to you AND after your husband failed to handle his mother.”
“He should be shielding you from this nonsense while you are growing a whole other human.”- SilverSister22
“NTA.”
“I have a multi situational response that I would use.”
“’What I do with my body with my doctor’s supervision is not up for debate or to be gossiped about’.”
“I repeated this so often that my exMIL would stop talking around the word body.”
“Come up with your own phrase and let your husband know that once you say it he is to jump in and deal with her.”- ZaelDaemon
“NTA.”
“Where was your husband while she was nagging you?”
“He didn’t handle his mother so you had to.”
“He needs to sit down now.”
“If he wants to save both relationships, he needs to step up and set some very firm boundaries with his mother.”
“She needs to learn to keep her opinions to herself unless explicitly asked to comment.”- Ok_Homework_7621
It’s one thing for someone to be concerned about their first grandchild.
It’s quite another thing to fill a pregnant woman’s head with scary thoughts and worst-case scenarios.
Two things that are bound to have a far worse effect on her than a little exercise.
As will telling a pregnant woman to be more “calm” when someone is making life more difficult for her…