"What they don't know, won't hurt them."
An old adage passed on from generation to generation.
One that many people take into account when they notice a flaw or abnormality in someone's physical appearance.
After all, if they are happy and oblivious, is there any point in telling them?
Some wouldn't think so, others, however, are not so sure.
A friend of Redditor Less_Wing_646 recently made a cosmetic change.
While they were very happy with it, something about it caught the original poster (OP)'s attention.
Leading them to wonder if they should say something.
Unable to make up their mind, the OP took to the subReddit "Would I Be The A**Hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"WIBTA if I told someone about a mistake in their tattoo?"
The OP explained why they were unsure of whether or not to speak up to a friend of theirs:
"I just saw someone I know post a photo of their tattoo on social media."
"It is a nice tattoo, but has an obvious mistake, which shows that they only tattooed it for aesthetics and don't actually know much about it."
"Think along the lines of misspelling a word in another language that you don't speak, or getting a tattoo of a chemical compound but getting the elements wrong."
"It is obvious to someone who knows the theory behind it, but to others it just looks nice."
"On one hand, I feel like there is no good thing that can come from telling them."
"They are excited about the tattoo and would be upset if they knew it was wrong."
"It is also not easily fixable unless covered up."
"On the other hand, I think I'd want to know."
"And also, there is just that part of me that really has to tell them about it ."
"Not to be mean, it just bugs me to see it, and I really have to refrain myself from telling them."
"Maybe I'll wait until the new-tattoo-honeymoon-phase is over?"
"WIBTA if I told them about it?"
The OP later returned in the comments section, telling them exactly what the mistake on the tattoo was:
"It's sheet music, but the rhythm isn't correct."
"Someone who can read music knows it's wrong."
"It's not completely wrong (sounds similar because the tones are the right ones), but not correct."
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The OP found little to no support from the Reddit community, who all but unanimously agreed that the OP would, indeed, be the a**hole if they told their friend about the mistake in their tattoo.
Everyone agreed that saying anything about the tattoo would definitely be a mistake, that would only upset their friend, especially after the OP clarified what the "mistake" on the tattoo was:
"It's sheet music?"
"YWBTA."
"Just let it be."
"'It just bugs me to see it'."
"Then dont' look'."- Remote-Passenger7880
"YTA for burying the lede and not just saying in the OP that the error is in a piece depicting sheet music."
"You let people think it was potentially something really embarrassing or offensive so that it skews votes your way."
"Nobody is going to be examining her tattoo in depth trying to figure out which song it is - they'll say it looks lovely and ask, and she can happily say the song title and her story/reason for getting it."
"And THAT'S the important part about the tattoo, not the accuracy."
"I read sheet music and understand musical theory, and would not want to ruin this person's enjoyment of their body by correcting them."
"Let it be."- LadleMonster
"It's a mistake in the notation of a musical rhythm?"
"'And also, there is just that part of me that really has to tell them about it. Not to be mean, it just bugs me to see it and I really have to refrain myself from telling them'."
"You sound like one of those people who has to announce the smallest fault in anything they see."
"YWBTA - let it go."- wesmorgan1
"YWBTA Nobody is going to be playing a song from someone's tattoo."
"You're just showing off."- retournee
"Don't tell them."
"Also it is sheet music mistake, they probably will go their whole life not knowing about."
"YWBTA."- SoccerProblem3547
"'There is no good thing that can come from telling them'."
"Read it as many times as you need to."
"It doesn't matter what you would want."
"YWBTA."- ImpossibleReason2204
"Sheet music?"
"Man, I've played piano for 10 years but damn you sound pretentious YTA."- saucybishh
"YWBTA."
"You could have just said its sheet music, there was no need to be mysterious and dramatic."
"I'm a bit skeptical of how incorrect it is given how you're on about it anyways."- clambroculese
"Tattoos ARE aesthetic."
"Pointing this out serves no one but your ego."
"YTA, and you know that, it's so clear from the last paragraph."
"You're DOUBLE TA for seeking approval here for what you know is an a**hole move."- Anakin-vs-Sand
"YWBTA."
"I have tattoos with mistakes and they're a tiny bit annoying, but I can tell you right now that if someone pointed out a mistake I hadn't noticed or known about, I would be pissed."
"You're presumably an adult, you can keep things to yourself."- Ranger_368
"YWBTA, at least to the person who's so excited right now."
"I would leave it alone."
"If it's pretty obvious, someone they know is going to tell them, as opposed to some stranger online."- That_Bee_Baker
"YWBTA Just like everyone else has already mentioned."
"I hope the person never sees this post."
"The mistake sounds like it's a tiny detail that 99% of people wouldn't even notice, and it's not worth ruining someone's happiness over."- moveyourheart
"It's 'refrain from' not 'refrain myself from'… so, do you think I recommend you indulge in petty corrections or not?"
"YWBTA."
"Fear not tho; plenty of school marms will delight in ruining the tattooed one's delight, all while unknowingly embarrassing themselves with equally inane mistakes."- Virtual_Action_8606
"YWBTA."
"I wouldn't want to know."- Aware-Sock123
"YTA, don't do it."
"Are they a musician?"
"If so, they will likely find it by themselves eventually."
"Hopefully then you can all have a laugh about it."- GiberishInGreatScale
"YWBTA."
"You say the notes are correct and the rhythm must be close."
"Don't look at the tattoo if it bugs you."- katznpiano
"Wait wait wait."
"IT'S A RHYTHM MISTAKE!"
"It's a mistake in sheet music, but not even a total one."
"Just rhythmic."
"So it's arguably an interpretation?"
"Or from a different version than yours?"
"YTA but I almost want you to point it out and be told you're mistaken, they're using a really specific version lol."- padfoot211
"YTA- if it's not a super obvious mistake/error, most people won't even notice."
"It's not your place to point it out unless you are a close friend."- merliahthesiren
"I have two degrees in piano performance and a PhD in music history."
"YWBTA."
"Leave it."- MusicologyMaven
"YTA."
"It's sheet music, get over it."- actualchristmastree
"YTA."
"Don't say anything."- ViolentLoss
"If someone would do this to me, I will forever despise my tattoo, honestly."
"I'd see the mistake each time I look at it."
"YWBTA."
"If you say it, you say it for 5 mins of satisfaction, but the receiving end will probably (negatively) remember it for years which really actually does make you an a**hole."- Silversn0w_
"As annoying as it is this is not something fixable so thee is nothing to be gained by saying anything."
"Bite your tongue."
"YWBTA."- Individual_Metal_983
"The general rule to apply is 'can it be fixed in less than five minutes?'"
"If the answer is yes, mention is (spinach in teeth, zipper undone, etc.)"
"If the answer is no, then you don't mention it."
"For this, the issue is that she wouldn't be able to fix it easily, and she would then live with knowing it was wrong/not quite right, and that some people know this already."
"Some people would want to live in blissful ignorance for as long as possible and maybe never get their pleasure ruined."
"After all, if she learns in two years, she's had two years of happy before she has to decide if she wants/need to change it."
"Some people want to know now because they get more stress/anxiety from thinking about how others perceive their mistake than the mistake itself."
"So, they want to know now so they can fix it asap."
"It sounds like you are more the second type of person."
"And so you are projecting that she would feel the same."
"But you know your friend best, and you should be able to stop and think about how she's been around you up until now to know which one she is more likely."
"I suspect the first type because you are asking strangers about it."
"For you, YWBTA if you tell her, if she's the first type."
"And you would be fine if three years from now she comes to you and says, 'I just found out this says WRONG thing!'"
"And you can look at it and go 'OMG, it does! What are you going to do?'"
"You don't say 'yes, I know' because that will lead to a whole thing."
"Just acknowledge that it does and turn it around to her and her feelings and helping her cope."-The1Eileen
The OP later returned, sharing what they planned to do after reading all the responses:
"You are correct, thank you :)."
"I was too caught up in how much it bugs me, but I need to get over myself."
"And yes, I know that too much little stuff bugs me."
"I am serious about wanting to be told if I were her, but again, that is about me."
The OP might not be the only one who notices that their friend's tattoo is not technically correct.
Even so, all that matters in the end is that this friend is happy with the tattoo they chose.
As one doubts a musician will be using that tattoo as sheet music.















Humiliated Redditor Ditches Friend's Birthday After She Publicly Mocks Them In Front Of Everyone
Fake people tend to show their true colors during pivotal moments, like weddings and major celebrations.
But when they want an audience to hurt someone else, it takes total sense that they would be called out in front of everyone, as agreed by members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit.
Redditor HollyyGinger went to their close friend's birthday party, expecting to have a good time and celebrate their loved one's special day.
But when their close friend made several mocking comments about them, and the party laughed along with them, the Original Poster (OP) took that as an indication of the state of their friendship and left the birthday party early.
They asked the sub:
The OP was excited to celebrate their close friend's birthday.
"One of my close friends had a birthday dinner last weekend, and I was genuinely excited to go."
"I helped her organize a few things beforehand, bought her a gift, and even rearranged some plans because I wanted to be there for her."
But the birthday dinner did not go at all how the OP expected.
"During dinner, though, she started making little jokes about me in front of everyone."
"At first, I laughed along because I didn't want to make things awkward on her birthday."
"But she kept going. She joked about dating life, brought up an embarrassing story I had told her privately, and made another comment about how I'm ''way too sensitive' sometimes."
"People were laughing, and I tried to act like it didn't bother me, but honestly, I felt pretty humiliated."
The OP tried to ask their friend to change the direction of the rest of the party.
"I quietly asked her when we were alone if she could stop making me the joke of the evening."
"She rolled her eyes and said I was taking everything too seriously and that everyone knew she was joking."
"I went back to the table for a while because I really didn't want to ruin her birthday."
"But then she made another joke about me, so I decided I'd had enough. I congratulated her again, said goodbye to everyone, and went home without making a scene."
The OP's friend tried to blame them for how the evening turned out.
"The next morning, she texted me, saying she was hurt that I left early and that several people noticed."
"She said that I made her feel like she had done something horrible when she was 'just having fun.' But her having fun was more of a public embarrassment to me."
"Now I feel guilty, because it was her birthday, and maybe I could have just ignored it for another hour or two."
"I wasn't trying to punish her or make the night about me. I just didn't want to sit there smiling while someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I had specifically asked her to stop."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she didn't have to stay at a party where she didn't feel welcome.
"She was having fun. You were not having fun."
"You’re not overreacting. You told her it was hurting you, and she kept doing it because hurting you was entertaining for her. She is not a good friend." - Dunquinn-
"I remember when I was really little, a bunch of adults were laughing at me as I cried."
"I cried to my mom, 'Stop laughing at me,' to which she replied, 'We aren’t laughing at you; we're laughing with you,' while giggling."
"My response was something I stand by to this day: 'Then why am I the only one crying?!'"
"It’s only funny if the person who’s being teased is laughing too. You weren’t laughing. It wasn’t funny; it was cruel. NOR." - XSmartypants
"She’s a bully. It wasn’t 'more like 'it was publicly embarrassing. It WAS publicly embarrassing."
"Then she tells you that SHE is embarrassed because YOU left early. That's bulls**t."
"NOR. Drop her." - WTH_JFG
"NOR. They make jokes about someone's privacy to humiliate that person. Anyone who would use info that was shared in confidence to get a laugh is an abuser. You don't do that, especially to a close friend, without the intent to hurt that person." - BungenessKrabb
"Would it have been fun if you did the same? Start telling her darkest secrets?"
"She made you into a punchline for other people’s entertainment."
"You told her to stop, and she didn’t; now she’s the victim?"
"NOR."
"But also, some people need to feel it to believe it. I hope you go to the next gathering with a few stories of your own and don’t let her rewrite the narrative." - beached_not_broken
"I’ve had it happen by my 'best friend' at the time, only it was in a professional setting event. Very personal details only she knew, all spilled for her amusement, embarrassing me in front of colleagues."
"NOR, OP. As you did, I left the gathering earlier than expected. My 'friend' called the next day asking why I left so early. I told her what she had said and done and how humiliated I felt."
"Her 'apology' was that flippant version that shows no remorse, like, 'Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.'"
"Over the subsequent years, she managed to alienate and burn bridges with most of those same people we were gathered with."
"I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. Anyone who thinks you were 'too sensitive' has no empathy and 'friends' like that don’t deserve your time." - Hungry_Tank9182
"NOR. She was being a jerk to you, and she was expecting you to just take it and not say anything or defend yourself."
"Because they think it's sooo funny to mock others, but I bet if the roles were reversed, she would be offended and upset."
"Honestly, you deserve better friends. I'm sorry you had to deal with this."
"I would've left and blocked her." - Cryslove
Others urged the OP to stop thinking about the event and let that friendship go.
"That was the point of her fun! Humiliating you with an audience!"
"Sharing something deeply personal, told in confidence? Immediate dealbreaker."
"She is not (and likely never was) your friend. Friends do not treat friends with such disrespect. Block her, and go no contact. She brings nothing good to your life, and she’s not worthy of your energy and time."
"NOR." - MizPeachyKeen
"It’s called bullying. She is not your friend. Friends don’t humiliate their true friends, or tell them 'they are too sensitive.'"
"That is what bullies do. She keeps you around to put you down and make herself look or feel better."
"Her actions, attitude, and behavior are those of an immature high schooler. She could actually be jealous of you and not want one or all of the following: you to succeed, have more friends, feel better about yourself, look better, etc."
"Please slowly distance yourself, find new hobbies and activities with more mature, well-rounded, healthy people." - Freeling_Fab_U_lous
"How DARE you spoil her fun; didn't you know that part of your gift was letting her make you the butt of her jokes? (sarcastic comment)"
"What an awful person. No one should need to put others down to raise themselves up. She doesn't deserve the title of friend, to be honest. You showed much more grace than I would have managed." - tphatmcgee
"She was using you as her punching bag to make the others attending laugh. Probably thinking you’d just take it. That’s not a good friend. NOR." - Additional-Start9455
"'Someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I asked them to stop.' NOR."
"First, you shouldn't have had to ask her to stop because a friend wouldn't have started in the first place. One of her 'jokes' was about you being sensitive, so she knew you didn't like it and did it anyway."
"Second, you asked her privately to stop, because you didn't want to embarrass her. Think about that. You didn't want to embarrass her. But she couldn't show you the same consideration, even after being asked to stop."
"That's not how I treat my friends, and I suspect that's not how you treat your friends, either." - calminthedark
"I would have answered her text that she's a s**tty friend and to f**k off. You have class."
"I probably would have made a comment at dinner that I asked her to stop with the insults."
"NOR. You did everything right." - Particular-King218
The subReddit was disappointed on the OP's behalf that a friendship they were so committed to, they were excited to celebrate their friend's birthday and even helped plan the event, came apart at their expense, and on very public terms.
If the friend didn't want to be "embarrassed," maybe she should have thought about how she was embarrassing others first.