Hominids are, in an evolutionary sense, omnivores. We can eat animal byproducts and plant matter. Most people can survive on either, but not maintain their health without supplements or a lot of careful meal planning.
The reason many vegetarians and vegans fail in their attempts at those diets are a lack of understanding that nutrients beyond protein and iron received from meat need to be replaced to maintain good health.
And some people have digestive issues that require certain foods to be healthy.
Research has found there is no one perfect human diet that works for everyone—just average needs that work for most.
That being said, unless a person has a specific health condition, diets are like religions. They’re just choices based on personal beliefs.
turned to the “Am I The A**Hole” (AITAH) subReddit for feedback.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
Own-Breadfruit-2335 asked:
“WIBTAH if I insist my stepson be allowed to eat meat?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“Here’s the thing. My wife and I were both single parents when we got married. She is a vegetarian and was raising her kids as vegetarians.”
“My oldest, shortly after the wedding, decided he also wanted to be a vegetarian. Fine. The vegetarian food is already being bought and prepared, so if that’s what he wants to do, it’s no skin off my nose.”
“Well a few days ago, my wife’s oldest son, age 12, decides that he is sick of being a vegetarian. He wants to eat meat.”
“My wife did not have the same laid back reaction I did when my son stopped eating meat. She categorically forbade him to eat meat.”
“She said after all these years his body won’t be able to handle it anyway. I said we could start him out on chicken stock and see how he reacts to that and she was PISSED.”
“We ended up arguing and she told me under no circumstances are her kids eating meat and to stay out of it. I said why was it okay for my son to stop eating meat, but not okay for her son to start.”
“She said that’s different. I said, ‘oh, because your lifestyle is morally correct and mine isn’t?’ She said I was being an a**.”
“My stepson still really wants to eat meat. The smart part of me wants to be quiet and the stubborn part wants to support him. It’s the principal of the thing. If one son can choose, both should be able to choose.”
“Would I be an a** if I refused to drop this?”
The OP later added:
“My daughter and I eat meat, but not that often in the house. Usually we eat it at restaurants and such.”
“Making meals for a large family is already a lot—making separate meals is exhausting. Sometimes we have cold chicken in the fridge to snack on.”
“When my son told me he wanted to be a vegetarian, I was a little confused and said he didn’t have to be just because stepmom & stepbrothers are. He said he wanted to because he thought about it and it’s sad to kill a thing for food when we can eat other stuff.”
“To be honest, I figured it would be a phase and he would not stick with it. My wife was very happy and gave him a big hug when she found out.”
“He did stick with it, and they were both happy, so I figured, well, whatever. This doesn’t hurt me.”
“I do treat her kids like mine, and I think she does the same. We both want what is best for all of them.”
“She is a vegetarian for environmental reasons.”
“In theory, every human possesses the right to full bodily autonomy. However, as parents we have the authority to limit that autonomy to a certain extent as the caretakers of minor children not yet able to take care of themselves on their own.”
“We don’t let our kids do anything they want. To do so would be a level of neglect bordering on abuse.”
“Being too permissive can harm a child just as much as being too authoritarian. But I think his food choices at his age should be his decision and my wife disagrees.”
“He is perfectly healthy. He’s athletic, smart, well-behaved and always has normal results at the doctor’s office.”
“If not eating meat is having a negative impact on him, it’s an invisible one. All the same, the choice should be his.”
“My stepson just says he wants to eat it, he hasn’t really given us a reason, not that he needs one. As someone that has always eaten meat, I am curious about what makes one switch from one to the other.”
“I’ve always suspected my son only switched to have more in common with the new members of the family, but obviously I never called him on it.”
“To me it’s a matter of consistency. So she celebrates when my kid chooses her lifestyle, but is disgusted her kid is interested in mine? I guess it rubs me the wrong way. There’s a suggestion of superiority in it that irks me.”
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP wasÂ
“I can guarantee that kid has been smashing the Big Macs for a while now. He’s just finally worked up the courage to bring it up with his Mum. No need to start with chicken stock, my friend.” ~ SomeCommonSensePlse
“Are vegetarians/vegans new to you? Most are militant about it. I’m an unusual vegetarian because I don’t care what anyone else decides to do with their own life and body. Maybe you’re struggling with finding out who your wife has always been, but you never saw it.” ~ Ok-Committee-1747
“I was raised as a vegetarian for years and now eat meat. I experienced literally zero negative physical reactions when I started eating meat. She’s wrong. NTA.”
“I ate fish and chicken first, all within a couple days of each other, to test the waters. I expected to be violently ill because everyone told me I would be.”
“But literally nothing happened, and I felt satisfied by food for the first time, and energized, and I put on a little weight, and my athletic performances in my sports I was doing improved.”
“This was 20+years ago at this point, too when there were fewer meatless protein options. Not everyone can spend the time it takes to get super-rounded nutrition via vegetarian and vegan cooking.”
“I am not an amazing cook, and as I became an adult and needed to fend for myself, I realized I just wanted to branch out because it was easier to take care of myself with some meat.”
“The benefit of being a long-term veggie turned meat-eater is that I still don’t overdo it with meat. I don’t really eat pork, I don’t eat deli meat, some stuff never clicked with me, and I feel I have a healthier relationship to meat than most Americans.” ~ Organic-Activity-255
“I was vegan for 3 years and it made me sick. I was taking a handful of supplements every day, tracking macros and micros and it wasn’t enough. I went back to eating meat during a holiday and got my health back.” ~ VioletteToussaint
“I was vegetarian in a family of meat eaters. When I decided to do that, there was no pushback from my family, and when I began eating meat again, there was also no pushback.”
“I don’t know why some parents think they are entitled to completely overrule their kid’s diet. He doesn’t want to be a vegetarian. It’s weird to make him be something he doesn’t want to be.”
“Your wife’s morals about what she eats shouldn’t go against his wishes. He’s old enough to make that choice.” ~ Old_Pea_1201
“If your wife is going to demand that he not eat meat, she owes you at least an explanation for why. If it’s because of her morality, you need to discuss when your children will be allowed to make such decisions.”
“And never isn’t an answer because in 6 years he’ll be an adult. He can either be an adult who discusses his life and decisions with his parents or who ‘knows better’ than to ever express an opinion around his mother.”
“If that’s not she wants to achieve, then she needs to not be so inflexible. Maybe tell him you want him to think about his decision, let his mother explain why she disagrees, then if he still wants to eat meat when he turns 13, he can try it with you and his stepsister.”
“That’s a reasonable solution that respects her authority and beliefs and his autonomy.” ~ MohawMais
Whether their son eats meat or not is almost secondary to whether his opinions and decisions are rejected or at least entertained.
He’s almost a teenager.
Trying to gain autonomy is a normal part of growing up. OP and his wife should decide now how they want to handle it.