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Woman Balks After Newly-Engaged Roommate Expects Her To Move Out Of Her Long-Term Apartment

Two women sitting on a bed.
Brooke Fasani Auchincloss/Getty Images

Maintaining a good relationship with your roommate is vital to sustain a healthy living situation.

As long as both, or all, roommates pay their rent on time, do their share of the chores and groceries, keep common living areas clean, and don’t invade each other’s personal space, there is no reason they can’t happily cohabit.

What’s often left unspoken, however, is how important maintaining a good relationship is when the time comes to end the lease and/or move out.

A happy change in the life of Redditor throwawayaptroommate‘s roommate’s life prompted her to make a change in her living situation as well.

A change that the original poster (OP) did not think her roommate was remotely entitled to.

Particularly not after a prior agreement they had made.

Worried she might not have been fair, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for refusing to move out?”

The OP explained why she was not going to accept her roommate’s abrupt change of mind regarding a prior agreement they had made sitting down.

“I 24 F[emale] have lived in the same apartment for 4 years in this time I’ve had 2 roommates one the first two years I lived here and the second for the rest of the time.”

“My current roommate 32 F (V) has been great until now.”

“She’s in a long term relationship and over Christmas she got proposed to.”

“Now they want to live together but they both approached me and asked me to let her fiancé take over my lease and for me to find a new place as soon as possible.”

“I have a few problems with this I feel like they should find a new place together because I’ve lived here longer.”

“I also told V a few months ago that I spoke to the landlord about once our lease together is up that I’ll be living alone since I can now afford it.”

“At that time she agreed and said that she and her boyfriend would look for a place together.”

“I told her this, but she said that when they started looking for a new place that everything else was too expensive and it made for sense for me to move out and not her.”

“I refused and told her that she can always ask the landlord if there will be units available for them in our building.”

“She started cussing me out and has had her fiancé and their friends harassing me about it.”

“There are 4 months left on the lease, so I’m just going to ignore them, but when I spoke to my mom about it, she thinks I should let them have the apartment since they need to start saving for their wedding.”


Fellow Redditors Weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to move out.

Everyone agreed that it was wrong for V to back off from their previous agreement and that the OP was justified in believing that since she had been living in the apartment longer, she had priority in getting to stay there.

NTA – it’s rude of them to assume that you’ll move out when it’s her BF who wants to move in.”

“Stand your ground and tell her you understand, however as said previously you told her you were taking over the lease.”

“Also inform your landlord in case she tries to kick you off the lease when it’s up for renewal.”- One-Awareness4609


“Roommate wants something and has demanded it in a really entitled way.”

“She, her fiancé, and their friends sound like nightmares.”

“Your mother’s attitude is a bit disappointing though.”

“Perhaps you could suggest that if saving for your roomie’s wedding is the priority, rather than you moving out, your mother could just make a financial contribution to the wedding fund?”- Hour-Performance-951


“They’re well out of line here.”

“It’s one thing to ask you, but they didn’t ask, it was a demand.”

“Funny how everything is expensive and yet they’re happy to make it your problem when they’re the ones with the change of circumstances.”

“Worth giving the landlord a heads up on this, especially if she tries to take a sneaky route of making stuff up about you to them.”- Mr_Ham_Man80


“Stay put.”

“Not your responsibility to help them save up for a wedding.”

“She’s acting very entitled to an apartment that isn’t ‘hers’.”- rbrancher2


“They say everything is too expensive for them, a 2-income household, but you, a 1-person household, should move out and live somewhere else, while you’ve been there longer, and on top of that, they’re harassing you?”

“Nah, bro.”-NuclearSky

“NTA and ask your mom why she cares about strangers more than you.”- SarahJayneBritney


“Renew your lease.”

“Your apartment, not theirs.”

“Where they live is their problem.”- RevolutionaryCow7961


“Everything is too expensive for their two incomes, so they want to pass that problem on to you instead.”

“Cute, but your roommate already agreed to be the one to leave, AND it was your home first.”

“They can figure it out.”

“I’ve always been a believer in a cheap wedding and honeymoon so I could put that money into a home.”

“They should try it.”- BeefyMonkeyBrains

“NTA, go to the landlord now and sign a new lease that excludes her and starts at the end of the 4 months.”

“It is not too early and in 30 days have the landlord send her a letter as a reminder that the lease is up in 90 days and he would like to schedule an exit walk-through or whatever the lease conditions require.”

“If anyone keeps harassing you contact the police.”

“Just because she and her fiance want to save money doesn’t mean you leave your home to accommodate them that is a them problem, not a you problem.”-Fifthelementsorcery


“Your roommate’s solution to it being too expensive for two people to find a place to live is to kick a single person out on their own?”

“That’s laughable.”

“Why can’t they live where the fiancé lives?”

“Also, you lived there longer and gave her notice first.”- Wild-Pie-7041

“NTA, also you should let your landlord know about the harassment and make sure you have a full exterior type lock on your bedroom.”- Lylac-elixir


“Talk to the landlord and see if you can renew early.”

“Doesn’t matter that they’re engaged, they’re not entitled to your living space.”- PrincessCG


“It’s your lease.”

“If the couple wants a place to rent, they can go find one.”- Sunshinehappyfeet


“So what if she has to start saving for the wedding?”- Scrappyl77


“Your mom sure is though.”

“You lived there first, so really I think you have first dibs if one roommate needs to leave.”

“Moving is expensive.”

“It isn’t something that one does lightly.”

“Your roommate sounds like a bully.”

“And your mom sounds like she needs to be on your side unless she wants to fund their wedding or pay for your new apartment.”

“I know some people who put married people first and think single people don’t need nice places to live or have real lives, but when it’s your own child.”

“.smh.”- SimonaMeow


“These are all ‘them’ problems.”

“If they are harassing you and cursing at you, the friendship is likely over.”

“And why would you do a favor for someone who is not your friend?”- He_Who_Is_Right_

“NTA you keep getting your lease renewed don’t talk to them anymore it.”

“They are trying to use your emotions against you because you are kind.”- I_amFartacus


“It’s not your responsibility to accommodate them, to make them happy at your expense.”

“They’re one level above strangers, they’re not your friends or family.”

“You don’t owe them anything.”- likeahike


“How completely absurd.”-prairiemountainzen


“They are being completely out of line here in asking you to be the one to move out, their circumstances changed not yours, and particularly in the subsequent harassment.”

“Another example of sucky people doing sucky things.”

“Also tell the landlord as soon as possible about the harassment and before they start doing anything to the apartment.”

“Get all your stuff secure as well.”- ReviewOk929

“NTA, stay put.”

“I don’t know what your mom’s deal is.”

“They aren’t entitled to take over your lease because of their wedding and poor financial planning.”

“Your roommate, her future husband, and their friends are bullies.”- 11treetrunk

Finding an affordable home is always a stressful endeavor.

Why V and her fiancé felt that the solution to this problem was telling the OP to move out of the apartment she had been living in longer, however, is perplexing, to say the least.

Particularly that they demanded, and didn’t even think about asking.

Maybe had they asked, the OP might have been more willing to help them stay on their feet.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.