The birthing experience is an event fraught with emotion and stress.
Yes, the miracle of life is beautiful.
The delivery of said life… not so glamorous.
And it can also be dangerous.
That’s why it’s important to try and keep the one birthing the baby as calm as possible.
So many people miss that memo.
Redditor Commercial-Grand-552 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for kicking my baby’s father out of the hospital room?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (19 F[emale]) just had a baby 1 day ago.”
“His father (21 M[ale]) and I have not been together since November due to him cheating.”
“He’s had a couple of other girlfriends since then and is still with one of them currently, but he still did go to most of my appointments with me.”
“Two days ago when I went into labor I called him, he came to pick me up to bring me to the hospital and he had his entire TV and playstation in the backseat, with no car seat for the baby.”
“I told him he is not bringing that to the hospital and he told me if I want him to be there for our son’s birth he needs something to do to pass the time.”
“We argued about it almost the entire ride to the hospital, but he ended up not bringing it in.”
“I was only in labor for about 2 hours before I gave birth; he was there the entire time.”
“A couple of hours after I gave birth, my dad and sister came to visit, and he left as the hospital has a 2 visitor-only rule.”
“I told him while they’re here visiting for him to go bring his TV back home and install the car seat so when they discharge us we will be all set.”
“After a few hours, my family leaves, and I text him to tell him he is welcome to come back if he would like.”
“Around 20 minutes later he’s walking back into my room, carrying his TV.”
“We start arguing about how I already told him he is not having that in my room, and he starts yelling at me, saying that I don’t make the rules and that I should be grateful that he wants to be there for our son.”
“But instead, I’m trying to make him miserable.”
“I told him he can either bring the TV back to his car or he can leave, he said he has a right to spend time with his son.”
“I called my nurse into the room and told her I wanted him to leave, so they ended up kicking him out.”
“He yelled at me the entire time he was leaving, saying that I’m kicking him out of his son’s life and that he will be going to court for custody.”
“He has texted me since saying that I’m taking his rights away from him and there are no rules that he couldn’t bring his own TV and game system while he spends time at the hospital.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for making him choose between the TV or leaving?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA – I am without words to describe his immaturity.”
“Bringing his video game set up into the recovery room is beyond stupidity, and you were right to throw him out.”
“He’s selfish and honestly, just tag him for child support and supervised visits only.” ~ vt2022cam
“NTA. His reasoning is also beyond stupid.”
“How exactly is he going to ‘spend time with his [newborn] son’ while also playing video games??” ~ Blonde-Engineer-3
“No way a dude like that has any sort of decent job, so no use going for child support.”
“Just leave him be, he’s probably too lazy to actually take you to court— so enjoy your son and leave baby daddy out of it. NTA.” ~ Wish_Many
“And OP needs to rest and recover, not listen to the bleep-bleeps, pow-pows, and other noises coming from her ex’s gaming system.”
“Plus, gamers tend to loudly exclaim over every little thing that happens.”
“He’d probably disturb the whole maternity ward.” ~ BaitedBreaths
“We brought all the Star Wars movies for my first.”
“We thought we would be there a long time, but my labor was quick.”
“The doctor who gave me my epidural kept finding excuses to check on me so he could watch the movies with us.”
“A video game is going to be loud.”
“I hear my boys playing rooms away.”
“That isn’t a good situation for a sleeping baby. NTA.”
“Get someone else to take you home.” ~ Topazz-1701
“I wish I had brought a video game console!”
“I was in labor a long time, and all I could watch was House Hunters and other stuff on HGTV.”
“I had a book, a good one I saved for labor, but I couldn’t concentrate on it or on any complicated TV.”
“So it was HGTV.”
“My husband also saved a book for labor, but he was able to concentrate better than I could.”
“HE wasn’t in pain and didn’t have an IV pushing fluids into him, so he wasn’t waddling to the toilet every half hour.”
“So much fun, with my a** hanging out of the gown and wires coming out of my hoo-ha.” ~ BluePencils212
“NTA. YOU are the patient here, you get to choose who can be in your room or not.”
“He doesn’t get to make it cozy for him and bring entertainment: his hobby right now is taking care of his newborn.” ~ IrrelevantManatee
“Agree! NTA- and the fact that he said ‘You had no right to…’ when hospital staff and security made it really clear that you did have a right to kick him out just says that he’ll be constantly telling you false versions of what you ‘can’ and ‘cannot’ do.”
“You don’t need that drama!” ~ Pretzals-and-stuff
“The fact he still brought in his TV and PlayStation and tried to make it about himself and his video games after you said no is enough evidence that this is NOT someone you want in your child’s life. NTA.” ~ daniell321
“Not gonna lie… if I was giving birth, I might like to play some video games, but the f**king audacity of occupying space in the hospital room where someone has just given birth to your child while not only not helping them, nor spending time with the child but being obsessed with how YOUR gonna be entertained?”
“No. NTA.”
“Bring a book and a bookmark cuz you’re gonna need to put it down a lot to help the patient to the bathroom.” ~ Kitastrophe8503
“NTA. He can’t respect your requests after giving birth to his child.”
“Also I would be concerned if he thinks spending time with his kid is playing on a gaming system.” ~ weddingwoes13
“NTA. Speak only through a designated parenting app from now on, even after custody and child support details either mediated or court-ordered.”
“If you’re feeling petty you could ask how he thinks playing video games would count toward spending time with his new son.” ~ Left_Adhesiveness_16
“NTA. Here’s a fun short story for you.”
“I went to a friend’s birth, she wanted me to film it for herself and her family.”
“The baby’s father sat in the chair THE WHOLE TIME back towards her playing video games.”
“I was very pissed at him, I still find it disgusting and immature, he was in his 30s.”
“Do not let him in that child’s life; he is not mature enough for it.” ~ the-satanica
“Nope, NTA. If he wants to be involved with your son, he needs to pay attention to your son.”
“A hospital is a place of quiet.”
“Playing video games is generally not a quiet pastime.”
“Contact an attorney to set up custody and child support agreements.”
“In my state, Oregon, all I had to do was contact the District Attorney’s office.”
“Their child support enforcement group will work with you to get everything done.” ~ Fearless_Ad1685
“NTA. It’s absolutely mind-boggling that anyone would think it’s okay to turn a delivery room into their personal gaming station instead of being present for such a monumental time.”
“Good riddance and good luck with all the legal stuff.”
“Holding firm on your boundaries now sets the stage for the future, and it’s clear your top priority is the well-being of your child.”
“Stick to your guns, and definitely make sure all this is well-documented for any future custody discussions.” ~ Lakita_Blish
“NTA… no means no, plus he should prioritize his child’s safety over a game console.” ~ WaferAdventurous8853
“I cannot believe that he brought the entire set up to the hospital room – did he think he was going to sit there like it’s his loungeroom and play games?”
“Sets the precedent for how ‘present’ he will be in your child’s life, doesn’t it?”
“I hope he takes that to his lawyer – ‘I showed up at the hospital with my gaming set up and was told to leave.'”
“‘No I didn’t bring a baby seat as requested to take my child home.'”
“‘There was no room coz I took my TV, and it took up all the space.'”
“‘Yeah but I’m mad that I don’t get to spend time with my child… Good luck, buddy.” ~ Lishyjune
“Pretty damn funny.”
“It’s your hospital room.”
“You sure as hell make the rules as to who is going to be in the room.”
“Guess the nurse taught him that lesson.”
“My condolences to you.”
“You’re in for a rough ride trying to co-parent with someone who acts this entitled and selfishly. NTA.” ~ Dana07620
“I could kinda understand someone throwing a handheld like the Switch in their bag just in case, but a whole-a** TV and PlayStation is ridiculous.”
“Play something on your phone if there’s that much downtime. NTA.” ~ knitlikeaboss
“NTA. This guy sucks.”
“I’m sorry you’re going to have to deal with him for at least the next 18 years.” ~ evadhud
Well, OP, Reddit is with you. This sounds like it’s going to be a rough situation going forward.
You had just given BIRTH and needed your rest.
Talk to a lawyer as soon as possible.
Congratulations on your son.
Good luck.