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Bride Called Out After Brother’s ‘Snob’ Girlfriend Who Was ‘Busy’ Misses Out On Fun Bachelorette Party

Woman enraged over information on her phone
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We’ve all known someone who thinks that they’re better than everyone else and that nothing is good enough for them.

Spending time with someone who only values the most expensive and elite is honestly exhausting, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit, and really not worth it most of the time.

Redditor Double-Schedule3160 was getting pretty fed up with her brother’s girlfriend, whom her brother regularly insisted that she spend time with.

But when the girlfriend constantly picked at where she shopped and what she did for fun, the Original Poster (OP) wasn’t the most interested in including her in her wedding plans.

She asked the sub:

“AITA for letting someone skip my bachelorette party and not telling them new details that would’ve changed their mind?”

The OP didn’t get along particularly well with her brother’s girlfriend.

“My brother has been trying to push me to get closer to his girlfriend, ‘Mary’ (together three months).”

“I’ve done my best to get to know her (initiating dinners, trying her hobbies with her, etc.), but we honestly don’t really get along.”

“I personally think she’s a snob (she complimented my designer bag, but took the compliment back when she found out it was thrifted. As in she literally said, ‘Yikes, I take that back’) while she thinks I lack ‘culture and sophistication’ (also something she’s mentioned when trying to convince me to do a ‘makeover’ with her).”

The OP’s brother was insistent that she include her in her wedding plans.

“The issue is that I’m getting married this year, and my brother has been REALLY trying to get her involved. I put my foot down with the bridal party since they’ve only been dating for three months and I don’t know her, but he insisted that I invite her to the bachelorette.”

“It was originally supposed to be super lowkey and local. Mary tried to push for something more extravagant, but it really wasn’t in my budget.”

“When I wouldn’t budge, she told us something came up that weekend, and she couldn’t go.”

But then the OP’s friends did something wonderful for her.

“I was later surprised by my friends who had come together to organize a lavish weekend through favors and points (i.e., one of my friend’s aunts works for a spa, so she was able to get discounted packages, another used her travel points to book a suite, etc.).”

“I was not told about this and was truly and happily surprised.”

The OP’s brother and girlfriend lashed out after the event.

“The issue is that Mary found out when we posted pictures, and she was P**SED.”

“My brother is now saying that I deliberately left her out, but she told me she was busy!”

“Mary said that if she had known what the weekend was like, though, she would have rearranged her schedule.”

“I feel conflicted because I suspect that my friends didn’t tell Mary on purpose, but they’re claiming they made these plans after Mary bowed out and didn’t reach back out since she was busy.”

“My brother still says I should have double-checked and made more of an effort to let Mary know my plans, so I figured I’d ask the internet for their thoughts!”


Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some said that the girlfriend didn’t get to decide which party was “good enough” for her.

“What Mary is saying is, ‘I don’t care about YOU enough to rearrange to celebrate YOU, but I do care about ME having a good time enough to figure out scheduling in order to have a good time for ME.’ It’s all about her.” – Gigglemage

“If the plans change enough that the stated reason for not attending would not be relevant to the new plans, that’s one thing.”

“Mary’s stated reason was that she was busy that weekend, and nothing changed about when it was happening. Even taking her at face value, there was nothing to indicate that the plans changed enough that an invitation should be re-issued.”

“Not taking her at face value, well…”

“The reason she’s mad is that her actual reason for not attending (her perception of the plans as beneath her) was no longer relevant. You know, the reason she didn’t give up when making her excuses was because it would be rude and entitled to say so. (Though that doesn’t seem to have stopped her from implying it through her complaints now.)”

“On the plus side, Mary not bothering to attend meant OP could have a great bachelorette party without her, and that OP wouldn’t have to deal with Mary’s general personality and the personality clash that would have resulted.”

“P.S. OP is NTA, obviously.” – Repulsive-Error9728

“Miss Snooty-pants has made it quite obvious that OP isn’t good enough for her. OP doesn’t need to spend any more energy trying to befriend this woman.” – Mrs_Weaver

“She wouldn’t have liked it anyway: it was obtained by points/employee discounts, so the ‘thrift’ might have rubbed off on her or smelled funny if she had gone, anyway.” – quats555

“The bachelorette party is supposed to be about celebrating the bride-to-be. I would point out to your brother that his ‘lovely’ girlfriend literally told you point blank that she would have rearranged her schedule to accommodate something she thought she’d enjoy, which means that whatever fake thing she was pretending clashed with your party, it was clearly something that could be ‘rearranged’ at her convenience.”

“And yet, even if we pretend that her other plans were real, she clearly didn’t care enough about celebrating you as the bride to rearrange her plans up until that point.”

“I would ask your brother quite bluntly if he actually cares about you or how you feel as a bride and his sister, being treated as nothing more than a source of entertainment for his girlfriend. Because not only are you NTA, but looked at through that lens, she actually owes you an apology for making your special occasion all about herself.”

“Also, slightly off-topic, but she’s not nearly as ‘cultured and sophisticated’ as she thinks. As someone who has literally socialized with heads of state and has lots of old money relatives, I can tell you without hesitation that: 1) someone who actually has any culture or sophistication would NEVER make that statement; it’s incredibly tacky and rude; and 2) anyone who knows anything about actual high fashion knows that vintage and thrifted designer finds are considered an absolute treasure, not something to be embarrassed about.”

“A dear friend of mine is married to one of the most famous and recognizable actors in the world and regularly wears dresses on the red carpet (Oscars included) from shops that specialize in vintage designer finds. You should be proud of yourself for scoring a designer bag from a thrift shop!” – Sorry_I_Guess

“It will cause some drama for Mary, but if it were me, I wouldn’t even invite her to the wedding. Three months is not long enough to warrant an invite unless she was a long-term family friend.”

“My best man had a new girlfriend. She didn’t get an invite to the wedding, and she was totally fine with it.”

“This is only going to go one way.” – Hamsternoir

Others agreed and insisted that the OP’s brother needed to mind his own business.

“NTA. Your brother needs to back off. You don’t need to be his snooty girlfriend’s bestie. You extended an invitation to your bachelorette, but she declined, feigning she had other plans. Your friends surprised you with a spa weekend.”

“The OP said, ‘The issue is that Mary found out when we posted pictures, and she was P**SED. My brother is now saying that I deliberately left her out, but she told me she was busy! Mary said that if she had known what the weekend was like, though, she would have rearranged her schedule.'”

“This situation falls into the category of ‘not your problem.’ If Ms Snootypatooty’s schedule was too busy for a night at Dave and Buster’s, she’s still too busy for a spa weekend. Your brother is delusional if he thinks his girlfriend matters to anyone but him.” – Peony_Pony

“OP needs to tell brother dearest that it never crossed her mind that sweet Mary would be so shallow. She said that she was busy and couldn’t make it, not that she didn’t like their plans. Why, it would have been rude to call her. It would imply that she was lying to get out of attending.” – ditchdiggergirl

“OP’s brother is delusional for thinking that someone he’s been dating for three whole months should be invited to anything wedding-related by OP! She wouldn’t be getting a wedding invite, either, if it were me!” – wonkiefaeriekitty5

“The entitlement of both your brother and his snobbish girlfriend. He’s only been dating her for three months and he’s bullying you and taking her side over yours when his girlfriend is clearly in the wrong? Yeah, she’s bad news.”

“I’d tell your brother what you really think about Mary and what actually happened in this situation, and if he doesn’t believe you, go low-contact. You don’t need this stress for the wedding.”

“You’re also in your full rights not to invite her. Either of you hardly even know her, what is this? Does she have golden t**ties?! My boyfriend-now-fiance wasn’t invited to a friend’s wedding because we hadn’t been dating long, we had been dating for a year by that time!”

“Your brother sounds insane and his taste in girls is the same. NTA.” – Careless_Channel_641

“What a jerk! Your brother is just as bad as the new girlfriend… My daughter was getting married… We had family photos done without the new girlfriend and then one with her. When they broke up, I tossed the picture she was in so I still had great family pictures of only our immediate family, so cropping wasn’t even needed.”

“Good luck with the wedding… She’ll be out of the picture before you know it, I’m sure!” – Gold_Reference8247

The subReddit was amused by this situation because they knew that the OP’s brother’s girlfriend only wanted to attend the edited bachelorette party because she felt like a spa day was “good enough” for her, while the previous day’s plans had not been.

If the brother really wanted his girlfriend to be in his sister’s life, he clearly needed to do a better job of defending his sister when his girlfriend nitpicked her personality and lifestyle.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan has been a part of the George Takei family since 2019 when she wrote some of her favorite early pieces: Sesame Street introducing its first character who lived in foster care and Bruce Willis delivering a not-so-Die-Hard opening pitch at a Phillies game. She's gone on to write nearly 3,000 viral and trending stories for George Takei, Comic Sands, Percolately, and ÜberFacts. With an unstoppable love for the written word, she's also an avid reader, poet, and indie novelist.