Blended families present a number of challenges. One is how children will relate to their stepparents.
One young man with a good relationship with his stepmom is facing a completely different kind of problem. His involves his friend and what his friend thinks of his stepmom.
After a conflict with the friend, the teen turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Redditor creepedoutteen44 asked:
“AITA for letting my friend get caught being gross?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (16, male) live with my dad and my ‘mom’. For context, my dad became a dad pretty young, like at the age of 14 young.”
“My bio mom ditched me with my dad after high-school and he’s been taking care of me ever since. He met my [step]mom when they were both 21 and I was 7.”
“Since I’ve known her she’s been the kindest and most understanding with both me and my dad. I see her as my mom and she calls me her son, no step, I’m just her son.”
“If she asked to adopt me, I’d let her. I don’t know anything about my bio mom and I don’t really care to.”
“My mom looks young, because she is.”
“She’s a bit younger than most parents to kids my age and I know she’s a bit insecure about it but she’s gotten better with it with time.”
“I had my friend Aden over to hang out and it was his first time meeting my mom. Her and I look nothing alike and he brought it up.”
“She’s Asian and I’m very obviously not. I told him she’s not technically my bio mom, but I consider her a mother.”
“I know as a teenage dude myself where the mind tends to go, so I let him get the stupid ‘stepmom’ laughs out of his system.”
“He kept going for a while though and I tried to get him to stop but he just kept going.”
“He was in the middle of being gross when I heard my dad pull into the driveway. I could hear him coming down the hall to my room and I didn’t stop Aden’s gross rant and let my dad hear him.”
“Needless to say, the stepmom comments never popped up again. It got brought up recently when he talked about how embarrassing it was and I told Aden I knew my dad was coming and I let him get caught.”
“He said I’m a d**chebag for embarrassing him like that. He said if the jokes really pissed me off that much I should’ve just told him.”
“Should I have warned him my dad was coming?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided OP was not the a**hole.
“You did try to tell him though.”
“You asked him to stop, and he didn’t – he crossed the line, you just let him embarrass himself once he did so.”
“NTA.” ~ Xenavire
“Wait, since when do actions have consequences? (sarcasm)” ~ abbles1er
“NTA. And it probably taught him a good lesson about respecting women, elders and his friends parents.” ~ MartiniKLewis
“Well, it kind of starts with that.”
“Like, first he has to learn that his actions have consequences, and that not everyone finds this stuff funny.”
“It’s the same when women started ‘invading’ the workspace. First, the men there would still make inappropriate comments, then they did it behind their back and well, now it’s not done that often anymore.”
“Not saying it doesn’t happen, just that it happens less, and there are severe consequences for being caught.” ~ Jazzisa
“NTA. You told him to stop being gross, and he kept going. He reaped what he sowed.” ~ yarrrjun
“NTA – your friend set himself up. He was the one being gross and inappropriate.”
“The fact he knows he was caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing tells all of us that he knows he was in the wrong here but is trying to blame you for his own actions.”
“‘Dude, you were being a creep. I did not make you’. You can also add ‘God is always watching’ with a wink.” ~ ImFinePleaseThanks
“‘you didn’t mind when you were embarrassing me and my mom, why would I care if you embarrass yourself as well?’ NTA.” ~ Stunning_Grocery8477
“NTA he pushed it too far and it didn’t seem like u would get a word in anyway.”
“Act like a fool get foolish prizes.” ~ JSD_Risen
“NTA in any way.”
“If you haven’t already, please tell your mom that you would like for her to adopt you. I’m sure it would mean a lot to her!” ~ ipakookapi
“NTA – and this is really where he should understand that his ‘joking’ was gross and inappropriate.”
“If you can’t say it around everyone, if you have to be sneaky and go behind peoples backs, then you’re the a**hole.” ~ kiwi_klutz
“NTA. He called you a douchebag because he got caught with his sh*tty jokes.”
“You asked him to stop, and he didn’t. You reap what you sow.” ~ Pyromaniiac465
“NTA He shouldn’t be a creep in the first place, and you told him to stop, so what happened is all on him.” ~ TheBlueCutlet
“NTA.”
“Nothing like a Life Lesson in respecting other people and learning to behave like a civilised person with your comments and attitude than when you’re a teenager.”
“Hopefully he got the hint and he’ll grow out of being this disrespectful pretty quickly.” ~ AnSteall
“NTA. Had you not warned him, you would have been condoning his behavior as long as no witnesses are present.”
“He is a douche for not respecting you and stopping when you asked. He deserved the embarrassment.” ~ anaemicexistence
“NTA, your friend had it coming.”
“Also, your mom and dad sounds like great people: how amazing that you have such a loving set of parents to look up to!” ~ bellazinha
“NTA. Aden is though. You tried to get him to knock it off for your comfort and he wouldn’t.”
“When he compromised his own comfort by getting caught being gross, it became your fault?”
“Naw. It sounds like he needed a healthy dose of shame to work on minding what he says to people.” ~ theoddestends
Respecting others is an important lesson to learn. Hopefully Aden learned to respect not just OP’s mom, but OP himself.