A teenager from a broken family was tormented by a bully for three years in school, but nothing could prepare him for what he was to experience.
While most victims of bullying can seek solace at home, this wasn’t the case for our young Redditor.
The individual who made his life hell was none other than his mother’s stepdaughter, who was resentful of her father for getting a divorce.
When a new development caused the Redditor to escalate drama, he sought judgment from strangers online by visiting the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Beneficial-Shoe1997 asked:
“AITA for refusing to give free tutoring to my mom’s stepdaughter because she bullied me when my mom married her dad?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (17 M[ale]) live with my dad. My parents divorced when I was 4 and they shared me 50-50. When I was 7 my mom met her husband Ricky and they got married after dating for about a year.”
“Ricky had three kids. Frankie was a year older than me, Cole was two years younger and Jesse was three years younger.”
“Frankie wasn’t happy her mom was gone and she took her dad’s marriage to my mom out on me. She bullied me for 3 years at my mom’s and in school.”
“My mom and Ricky knew and they intervened but my mom also didn’t really make me feel better and she kept making excuses for why we had to try and make things work. Even when Frankie threatened to push me out of the upstairs window my mom would tell me I needed to be patient, kind and loving and that sometimes siblings struggle with new additions.”
The OP continued:
“Frankie was physically and emotionally bullying me and she had access to me way more than I wanted her to. There wasn’t a day with my mom when she didn’t bully me.”
“Some of the stuff she did in those three years included; breaking my stuff, threatening me, throwing her juice over me in school, tripping me up in school, ruining my homework, trying to close doors on my hand, locking me out of the house, pouring water on my bed right before my bedtime, spreading rumors at school about me crapping my pants and pissing myself when we’d go anywhere.”
“When it got to the point I wasn’t eating, was struggling in school, the school were reaching out to my parents and my interest in stuff was gone, my dad was able to win custody of me because the home environment was considered unhealthy for me and was very literally putting me at risk.”
“My mom was pissed but she kept some legal custody. This meant I had to stay in the same school because mom said so. We also met up once a week for two hours outside her house and without Ricky and his kids.”
Things continued to escalate.
“Frankie kept bullying me at school and she did a few more physical things to me. Dad finally got permission to move my school when Frankie threatened to my life in front of the whole school.”
“I never forgave my mom for staying with Ricky and choosing to be a stepmom to Frankie over being my mom. And she did. People can say she didn’t do that all they want, and some have said that to me, but it’s what she did.”
“She chose her marriage and her stepkids over me. She expected me to tolerate that and love Frankie anyway and to be glad she met Ricky.”
“I still don’t go to my mom’s and our visits have decreased significantly.”
A new development wound up adding more turmoil to the strained relationship.
“She added me to a group chat with her and Ricky and they told me Frankie’s doing really bad in school, might not be able to pull off graduating, and she needs a tutor. My mom knows I tutor for my school.”
“The two of them asked me to tutor Frankie so she can have a chance at graduating. Ricky made this really passionate speech about how she needs this. My mom told me I should help out family and we can try to put ‘the mess’ behind us.”
“I told them I would never help Frankie, and I would rather die than spend another second with her. I told them not to bother me with that sh*t again,n and I left the chat and blocked Ricky’s number (can’t legally block my mom’s because of the court stuff).”
“My mom and Ricky have texted me from mom’s phone asking me to reconsider and saying I need to move forward and try to work on the family stuff.”
“And yeah, like my title says, they want me to do it for free. Or, as mom said, for ‘bonus points with the parents’. Papa Bear came out when I told my dad what they’d asked me. He’s so pissed.”
“But I know that digging my heels in might be sorta petty and show an unwillingness to see if Frankie has/will/could change in the future.”
“AITA?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) here.
“Big no to helping your tormentor. NTA. You don’t owe your mom anything at this point – she did nothing to help when you were being abused (and made it worse). Just wait until you are 18 and say goodbye. Hugs!” – lmmontes
“NTA.”
“I know everyone on here says ‘go no contact’ asap. There is more to it than that. I went NC with my birth giver as soon as I was 18, but that wasn’t enough. I carried around the abuse and hatred with me for years, and it gave her a hold over me still.”
“I should have gotten therapy, but didn’t. My girlfriend (now wife of 13 years) listened to my stories. Listened to my rage. Got me to realize that as long as i held onto the hatred, I really couldn’t progress in my life.”
“I set up a public meeting with my birth giver at a McDonald’s to try and prevent her making a scene. My girlfriend went with me for support. I sat with them for 30ish minutes, let her spout out all sorts of excuses, guilt trips, stories about how horrible her life is now.”
“I used that as the fuel for me to get everything off my chest. She hadn’t changed, she never would. I told her how much she hurt me, and that i forgave her for it, but I will not allow her abuse in my life anymore. I told her goodbye , stood up, and walked out the door.”
“She caused a big scene. Crying, screaming, blaming me for god knows what. Followed me out to my car and physically blocked me in until i rolled down the window and told her i was calling the police. She finally let us leave, and that is the last time I spoke with her.”
“Whenever someone says ‘but family forgives’ or some crap like that, I just remember that last time I saw her at McDonald’s, and I feel no guilt. I also don’t hold in that rage and haven’t for years now.”
“Cutting someone out doesn’t get rid of the pain. There is still work to do. It is so worth it. Goodluck.” – Soylent_observer
“Not petty at all – your mother’s behaviour has been obscene – so they are so worried about Frankie but didn’t appear to show the same level of concern about you ! Your mother was willing to sacrifice your well being for keeping peace with a load of bullies – honestly I hate your mother and would not entertain her suggestion for a hot second.”
“It’s worthy of a laugh but that’s about all – it’s absurd and it says a lot about her attitudes to you still ! She is still willing to sacrifice you for her new family ! What a douche bag she is.” – Artistic-Giraffe-866
“OP, it wouldn’t matter anyway.”
“Do you honestly think Frankie is going to listen to you? Do you honestly think she won’t waste your time the entire session and then say YOU were the one that didn’t help to the parents?”
“I’d recommend telling this to your mom but she is so past listening to you it’s utterly pointless. And the only reason they asked you, OP, is because they think they can bully you into doing it for free.”
“You actually don’t have to do anything for them, they just think you have to, and that includes keeping communication open to mom. You’re 17, by the time mom takes your dad to court(sounds like she’s cheap so I doubt she would) you will be of age. And can choose for yourself whether you talk to her or not. Heck you may even be in a state?(are you in the states?) where you are old enough to choose now.”
“NTA. Keep that shiny spine straight and pristine!!” – Used_Clock_4627
Overall, Redditors supported the OP’s decision to stand his ground and not cave to pressure.
The OP was also not responsible for Frankie’s poor performance in school. If the mom insists on hiring a tutor, it might be in the best interest of her son’s mental health to seek options outside the family.
The OP is clearly traumatized by the situation. The best way to avoid the problem is for his mom to understand that keeping Frankie away from him would be the wisest decision.