It is important to keep precious items.
Especially if these items are difficult, if not downright impossible, to replace.
This is especially true when we are tasked with taking care of something that doesn’t belong to us.
Should these items go missing under our watch, there is a certain amount of responsibility to cover the cost of these missing items.
Or at least half.
A recent Redditor recently gave his partner a very important gift.
A gift she sadly lost a short while after being given it.
Of course, the original poster (OP) wanted to replace what was lost.
But they didn’t feel they should foot the entire bill this time.
Wondering if he was wrong for feeling this way, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for wanting my partner to help pay for her engagement ring?”
The OP explained why he felt it was only fair that he go “halfsies” with his partner to replace a lost item:
“I proposed to my partner about a year ago.”
“I bought her a ring I thought fit her style and taste perfectly, and she was thrilled with it.”
“The proposal itself was in Lauterbrunnen, Switzerland (highly recommended if you’ve never been), and the whole thing was really special.”
“There was just one small issue: the ring was a bit loose.”
“Since I had bought it abroad, I couldn’t bring it back to the same jeweller for resizing.”
“We agreed we’d take it to a local jeweller, but almost a year went by and she never actually went to get it adjusted.”
“Fast forward to a few weeks ago: while playing with our dog in the woods, the ring slipped right off her finger and disappeared.”
“We spent days searching with metal detectors and every tool we could think of, but it was gone.”
“Naturally, I want to get her a new ring.”
“She misses it, and I don’t want her to go without something that holds that kind of meaning.”
“But here’s the problem: she seems to expect me to cover the entire cost again.”
“From my perspective, I was hoping she’d at least offer to contribute this time.”
“On top of that, her friends keep asking when she’s ‘getting another ring’, which adds more pressure and paints me like this selfish a-hole.”
“I know part of this is on me for not nailing the size in the first place, but I couldn’t exactly be obvious since she already suspected a proposal.”
“Plus, buying abroad complicated things with sizing differences.”
“Honestly, we are not very much into bling or expensive jewelry.”
“Although this is probably the most expensive piece of jewelry she ever owned, I think some people might be overestimating how much money I spent on it.”
“Insurance therefore never crossed my mind, considering my inexperience when it comes to jewelry combined with it not being ‘crazy expensive’.”
“So AITA for expecting her to share in the expense? “
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community largely agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for requesting his fiancée cover half the cost of her new engagement ring.
Nearly everyone agreed it was the responsibility of the OP’s fiancée to get his engagement ring re-sized, and she shouldn’t have waited over a year to do so:
“NTA.”
“Who keeps wearing an expensive ring that is too loose?”
“She should have gotten it resized as soon as she got home.”
“This is on her.”
“She should at least pay for half, since you and she are supposedly about to mingle your finances and be a team when it comes to expenses.”-T_G_A_H
“NTA.”
“If I lost my ring, I would feel so guilty and mortified I would definitely offer to split the cost (if not pay for the whole thing).”
“She had a year to get it adjusted or even buy a 3$ ring adjuster off amazon as a temporary solution (which incidentally is what I have done).”- tawny-she-wolf
“I personally would have offered to help with it if I chose to wear a ring that didn’t fit and never got around to resizing it.”
“That’s just me.”
“NTA.”- Maggiemoo621
“NTA.”
“I personally wouldn’t even expect a replacement immediately.”
“I’d probably buy something cheap as a place holder and maybe get a nicer ring way down the line as an anniversary gift or something.”- keesouth
“I guess this is the minority opinion – but I don’t understand why this is on OP at all?”
“Am I responsible for perpetually replacing every gift I give someone if they ever lose or break it?”
“Once you give a gift, it’s theirs.”
“If they lost it, they can replace it or live without it.”
“I understand replacing a ring yourself won’t have the same ‘he gave me this’ sentimentality, so I understand OP being involved, but it seems like the default is for the owner and responsible party for the loss to pay the replacement cost and any other division is a nice gesture on the part of OP.”
“And no, I don’t see not getting the correct size as being responsible for the loss a year later.”
“She decided it fit well enough to wear for a year, she took the risk knowingly.”
“She could have kept it safe in a box until it was sized correctly.”
“Also, even correctly sized rings get lost all the time.”
“NTA.”- SummitJunkie7
“NTA.”
“My husband tried his best to size my ring before proposal (planting a ring sizer in a hotel room on vacation because he knew I would try it on!) and it was still a size too large.”
“I was super aware it was a bit too big and put it on a chain for a while before getting it resized.”
“Was the ring insured?”
“As that could sort the whole issue out.”
“But if your partner was aware it didn’t fit and didn’t act on it’s kinda on her.”
“But hopefully you guys can work things out together as a team!”- Actual-Smoke1742
“NTA.”
“That is a household expense.”- BreqsCousin
“NTA.”
“She lost it.”
“Unless she has no job and you are her only source of income she damn sure is gonna be paying for some of it.”
“It’s her fault.”- flippityflop2121
“NTA.”
“At all, but y’all – insure your rings.”
“You can add them to your home insurance policy.”- ptheresadactyl
“NTA.”
“It would have been exponentially cheaper to have it resized and even more affordable to get one of those ring snuggies so it fit.”
“I would never wear something like that without making sure it couldn’t fall off my hand.”
“That sucks but she’s gonna have to figure out how to replace it.”- PlumpQuietSoup
“NTA.”
“The ring being lost is entirely due to her laziness and carelessness – she knew it was too large, and chose to wear it anyway, rather than getting it resized or wearing it on a chain or some other suitable alternative.”
“Because she wore it anyway, she lost it.”
“You do not owe her an endless chain of replacement rings when she loses them – you are not an insurance policy.”
“If she bought you a nice gift and you lost it, would you expect her to dive straight in and offer to replace it for you, or be annoyed about your carelessness?”- Nrysis
“NTA.”
“But you need to be able to openly discuss finances with her if you want to have a successful marriage.”
“Soon your assets will combine, so the ‘my money’ vs ‘her money’ thinking will need to change.”-ThrowRA-gruntledfork
“NTA.”
“She should’ve gotten it sized asap.”- Longhairjoe99_
“NTA.”
“She didn’t do anything to keep that ring safe.”
“Only you can decide if her lack of care with this symbol of your love is worth replacing.”
“If you decide that’s what you want, might I suggest a lab grown diamond?”
“They cost so much less.”- coreysnaps
Others, however, couldn’t understand not only why the OP’s fiancée didn’t resize the ring, but why the OP didn’t insure the ring:
“ESH.”
“Any jeweler can resize a ring.”
“She should have had it sized, and you should have insured it.”
“Now you should both share in the replacement cost.”- DidAnyoneFeedTheDog
“ESH.”
“Why are you 2 getting married if you can’t even sort out this little situation?”
“It’s been over a year apparently and none of you manage to secure the ring size.”
“Now it is lost, and you are both petty about it.”
“You both don’t sound mature enough and ready for the commitment that a marriage requires.”- LylyO
Many hope that an engagement ring is something you’re gifted only once.
Hence why it’s important to keep track of it as best you can.
Seeing as the OP should have probably gotten the ring insured, despite all the reasons he gave, and their fiancée shouldn’t have waited to get the ring resized, splitting the cost halfway seems like a fair compromise.