It’s never fun to take care of a sick or indisposed child.
When the child in question isn’t your own, this can be downright stressful.
Still, when this unfortunate situation arises, you don’t really have much time to think, but rather just solve the problem as best you can.
Even if your methods might not completely align with those of the child’s parents.
The niece of Redditor Efficient_Green3775 was recently paying a visit.
During this visit, the young girl developed a minor health issue.
Thinking fast on her feet, the original poster (OP) came up with what they thought was the best possible solution to this problem.
Unfortunately, the girl’s mother felt just the opposite.
Wondering if they did anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for buying my niece period panties?”
The OP explained why they upset their brother’s ex after their daughter paid a visit:
“My (30s F[emale]) brother in law is separated from his kids mother and last week they came into town to spend the weekend with us.”
“Whenever they’re in town my husband and I usually let them spend the night at our house so they can spend time with our kids.”
“While they were here my niece (11) got her period.”
“I use a menstrual cup so I didn’t have any pads at all.”
“When I asked her what kind her mom buys for her she didn’t really know and said that she doesn’t like pads because they feel weird and slide back sometimes and she ends up leaking on her pants.”
“I told her that I had that issue a lot when I was her age and agreed that pads are sometimes really inconvenient.”
“I asked if she wanted to try something different and she said yes.”
“I told her that I thought she was a little young for tampons or a cup but I suggested period panties.”
“I’ve never personally used them but my best friend does and swears by them.”
“We called her and got advice on the best kind to get and everything like that.”
“I took her to target and got her a few pair.”
“Later in the week my brother in law called me & my husband and told us that his ex was really mad that I bought the panties for my niece.”
“He said that she said I had no right to do that and that it’s weird that I would buy panties for her daughter.”
“I explained that I was just trying to help and while he understands and doesn’t think I did anything wrong, his ex is now saying that the kids can’t come to my house anymore.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for buying her niece period panties.
Everyone agreed that the OP was only thinking of her niece’s health and comfort, which her brother’s ex should have acknowledged and accepted:
“NTA.”
“You were the dream of any teenager who just got their period.”
“I remember how overwhelming it could be and how uncomfy pads and tampons were to me at that age.”
“You were an amazing and safe person to your niece!”
“The ex sounds bitter and I honestly don’t understand why she’s upset with someone for being nice to her child.”
“Maybe she’s (unconsciously) upset that you took better care of her child than she managed herself?”
“I hope you can find a way to reconcile so the kids can still stay over at your place when they’re in town!”- Sae_something
“Definitely NTA. You did the right thing.”
“The mom sounds toxic and like she actively looks for drama.”
“If someone did this for my daughter I’d thank them for caring about her and helping her out.”
“Some people…smh.”- UnfairBooBear
“You handled that perfectly!”
“NTA.”- Comfortable_Fun_9872
“How could you possibly be in the wrong for standing by your niece and giving timely advice and material support on such a sensitive topic?”
“Your BIL needs to stand up to his ex.”
“When he has custody, she has no control over whom he takes their children to see.”
“Unless, of course, she gets some kind of restraining order against you, and no judge in the world would use ‘bought my daughter menstruation-safe underwear’ as a sign of abuse by you.”
“NTA.”- Bargle-Nawdle-Zouss
“NTA.”
“What else were you supposed to do?”- boringtallguy
“NTA.”
“You helped your niece out.”
“The mom is overreacting.”- groovypetecat
“NTA!”
“You did what anyone else would do in the situation of a young girl getting her period.”
“As this isn’t your niece’s first period, her mom should have packed her an emergency bag of menstrual products that she feels comfortable with her daughter using, just in case she does get her period while with her dad, or you guys.”
“Also.”
“Period panties are a great alternative for girls who aren’t comfortable with wearing tampons/pads, and much better for the environment as they are machine washable!”
“If her mom is particular about what menstrual products your niece uses, she should have planned ahead and packed a bag for her daughter to take when her mom isn’t with her!”- Fluffy_Falcon_1997
“NTA.”
“And since it’s obviously not the girl’s first period, why the hell did her mother send her completely unprepared for it?!”
“I assume the mother is pissed because this highlighted her neglect.”- Aldetha
“NTA.”
“It’s not your fault your niece started her period at your home.”
“Would her parents rather you had let her free bleed and feel embarrassed.”
“You helped and guided your niece as you were the one to be in the right place at the right time.”
“You helped your niece make an informed choice, especially one that would facilitate her comfort.”-Aggressive-Peace-698
“NTA.”
“You’re a rockstar!”- Obvious-Arrival2571
“NTA at all.”
“Agree with many others that there is no such thing as too young for a cup or tampons, however, at that age (until I was like 18 tbh) I was not comfortable with the idea of them, so I think I kinda see where you are coming from with that.”
“But back to the period pants, absolutely NTA is no way, shape or form.”
“She expressed discomfort with pads so you helped her with an alternative and that is great.”
“Honestly, I absolutely swear by period pants now and wish they had been around when I was in school.”
“Not only do you not have to worry about the embarrassing rustling and ‘OMG everyone in the toilet is going to know’ (which should never be embarrassing but we all know it is at that age), they can be worn so much longer and just make life so much easier and more comfortable.”- Saintlysin14u
“NTA.”
“I can’t see any issue with what you got her.”
“In fact a ‘Thank you so much for taking care of (niece’s name)’.”
“Would have been in order if anything.”- Kris82868
“NTA.”
“I didn’t learn about cups or period panties for decades after I got mine.”
“I suppose they weren’t as prevalently talked about when I was at that age.”
“I don’t know if I’d have chosen something other than pads if I’d had the options but it was never something my mother or anyone else discussed with me.”- wanderingstorm
“NTA.”
“You went above and beyond to help your niece feel comfortable and supported.”
“The fact that she said she didn’t like pads (or at least the pads her mom buys her) and was open to trying something new shows that her mom hasn’t made the effort to truly try and meet her needs and make sure that she is comfortable.”
“You did just that, and now her mom is upset that she is going to have to change what she was doing because her daughter won’t accept status quo anymore.”- wamme6
“NTA.”
“But there is no such thing as ‘too young’ for tampons or a period cup.”
“I started using mine at that age and still do to this day don’t know why it’s still such a taboo.”-Ultimate_me274
“NTA.”
“You did the right thing and got her what made her the most comfortable, and even let her speak to someone who used them.”
“I find it super odd that the mum is weirded out by that.”
“Why is she making period panties into anything other than a period product?”- UnlikelyAssassin11
“NTA.”
“You did what you could for a young girl in her time of need.”
“It’s her period and she gets to decide how she wants to deal with it.”
“She doesn’t like pads, so you suggested something with easier maintenance that won’t make her uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t buy her ‘panties’ you bought her period underwear.”
“You essentially bought her reusable pads.”
“Your nieces mother is being extremely unreasonable and it’s gross that she’s even saying that you’re weird for helping a young girl find a better alternative for dealing with her periods.”
“She’s the weirdo in this scenario.”- MyUnHumbleOpinion
It’s not exactly common for aunts or uncles to buy their nieces feminine hygiene products.
That being said, the OP was thinking fast on her feet and in the best interests of her niece.
So a simple “thank you” from the ex of the OP’s brother would have been a more appropriate reaction than banning her daughter from ever staying with the OP again.