Listen, it’s 2026, and we cannot afford, and are way too overqualified to accept, doing work for free that should absolutely be paid labor.
Included must be babysitting, which involves caring for a child and keeping them alive, pointed out members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit, which should absolutely be worth paying for.
But Redditor adorablecherryy’s family was not on board with that. In fact, their family expected them to take time off from work to care for their four little cousins.
When their mother confronted them about it later, insisting that family should help family no matter what, the Original Poster (OP) felt torn between helping family and being able to pay their bills.
They asked the sub:
“Am I the a**hole for telling my aunt that I can’t babysit unless I’m paid?”
The OP tried to be helpful when their aunt needed help with her four young kids.
“My aunt has four young kids (between the ages of seven and 13), and she often asks me to babysit when she runs errands or has plans.”
“I usually say yes and don’t expect anything in return.”
But when it impacted their work schedule, the OP hesitated.
“This time, she asked me to watch them for a full Saturday.”
“I had to give up a work shift to do it. Money is tight for me right now, and that shift actually mattered.”
“I asked if she planned to pay me.”
“She seemed caught off guard and said family doesn’t charge family.”
“I explained that I wouldn’t be able to afford missing work.”
“She really wasn’t taking it well. She wasn’t shouting or anything, but she had that kind of demeanour where you can tell she was a mix of angry/disappointed with me.”
The OP’s mother called them out on not helping their aunt this time.
“She found someone else, but later, my mom told me my aunt was upset and felt like I was putting money over family.”
“I don’t feel good about it, but I also didn’t want to pretend it didn’t matter.”
“I feel like on one side, yes, family shouldn’t charge family, but on the other side, when doing something for them causes you to lose out on money that you would have otherwise made, to pay your bills, then it becomes more reasonable. Or does it?”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that the money had to come from somewhere.
“If you had skipped work without getting paid by your aunt, YOU would have PAID to babysit.”
“She’s disappointed you didn’t pay to babysit her kids. And they’re saying that you are putting money over family?”
“NTA.” – Sputtrosa
“Nearly every time someone says you’re putting money over family, what they mean is you’re putting YOUR money over THEIR money.”
“But also, I have to point out the whole reason she’s asking OP is that OP doesn’t charge. You’re not doing someone a favor when you start charging for favors you were doing for free. Just work the shift if you need the money. If the aunt had the money, they probably wouldn’t be relying on you in that way?
Like, I can see a situation where you need a shift, aunt asks OP for a favor, and they say, ‘I need the shift,’ and aunt offers to pay that amount. But if you find yourself in a situation where you agree, cancel your shift, and then try to chase that amount, you’ve f**ked up. NTA obviously.” – avcloudy
“I’m a pet sitter, and my close friends and family rule is that they pay my expenses. This includes if I had to turn down another job to take theirs. If I had no other conflicting booking requests and they organise my transport, then it’s free, and I’m fine with that.” – carrotaddiction
“NTA, it amounts to the OP paying the Aunt for the privilege of babysitting her kids. Also, if it’s so important to OP’s mom, she can babysit the kids and connect with her little nieces and nephews.” – aquestionofbalance
“Your Aunt wanted you to babysit for free at your expense to save money. I’m sure your Mother is not stupid enough to not realise this.”
“In fact, mom sounds like she’s trying to take the easy way out and appease the aunt, which is what the aunt expected when she told her. If she knew mom would tell her she gotta pay to play, it would never have been brought up.”
“NTA.” – MasRemplap
“NTA. I’m betting that whoever she found to replace you was paid for their time. You did nothing wrong, and your mom has no right to make you feel bad.”
“I personally would never babysit for her again, since she does not respect you.” – babydtheone
“NTA. Your aunt is taking advantage of you. Not to mention, putting money into niblings’ pockets is part of the fun of being an aunt. I do not like her. Booooooo!” – PlentifulBox
Others urged the OP to discontinue the babysitting arrangements and focus on their job.
“Next time, just tell her you have work. Don’t inconvenience yourself with no reward. NTA.” – GeekHabits
“You have a job where you get paid. Why would you give that up to work for your aunt for free? You wouldn’t and shouldn’t.” – underhand_toss
“Ahem. Even if you had the day off and wanted to do other things, you don’t need to feel guilty about not babysitting. ESPECIALLY if you’re not being paid.” – Senior_Bat4271
“Just say No. In person, shut the door. On the phone, shut it down, and block. Do not allow another single person time to make a remark. If they start, you stop it.” – Square-Swan2800
“NTA. Tell her, ‘No, I have to work on Saturday,’ period. Don’t take off your regular job even if she is paying you! Unless you don’t care if you lose your job?”
“She is the AH if she expects you to skip work to babysit for her. You are clearly babysitting too often if she thinks she can drop them off any time. You need to say ‘no’ more often.” – underwater_owl
“Dude, your aunt is taking advantage of you, and that’s not cool. My cousin used to do this until I started asking for cash.”
“You gotta pay your bills, which means keeping your job by actually going to your job, doing your shifts, and getting paid, not taking valuable time off of work and hurting your image, accountability, and work ethic by being there for family who doesn’t want to be there for you.”
“She can get a real babysitter (and by real, I mean one that she’ll pay rather than swindling you; I’m sure you actually do a good job, or she wouldn’t keep crawling back).” – littlecupps
“NTA. Next time, tell her that you are not free. You have work.”
“It’s bizarre reasoning that she expects you to drop a shift when money is tight so she can do whatever, putting herself above ‘family.'”
“If family is going to be there for family, then family needs to help cover the bills, not just the kids when their mom wants to make plans.” – Dogmother123
“NTA, but you are being an a**hole to yourself by not standing up for yourself. Do not ever watch these kids unless you want to, and unless she’s paying you.”
“Why isn’t your mom watching the kids if that’s how she feels about it?” – panic_bread
“NTA, but family only seems to help family when it benefits your aunt.”
“When you are the one who is put at a disadvantage or even has to struggle to pay the bills, it does not seem to matter.”
“To be honest, personally, I would never babysit for free for her ever again, only if it was truly an emergency.” – LadyWiezel
“I want to say this as kindly as I can, because I assume that you love your family and want to be there for them and watch your cousins grow up, which is why you’re feeling guilty.”
“But caring for them is not your job. You’re not being paid, and your job is your job.”
“Even if, heaven forbid, something happened to your aunt, and you somehow were the one who needed to take in your four cousins, yes, THEN it would be your job to care for them.”
“But guess what, you’d STILL have to have ANOTHER job… to pay the bills!”
“Babysitting doesn’t look as good on a resume as it used to, unless you’re going into related work as an adult, and it generally doesn’t pay as much as you need to pay the bills.”
“Please take care of yourself, and work hard at your actual place of work, so that you can keep your job, get paid for your hours, pay your bills, and maybe even level up in the company (if you want to).”
“You can still be there for your family in other ways that do not require so much of your time or your expenses. Because right now, you’re paying to babysit and then scrambling to pay bills while being guilted into caring for your family, with nothing in return but more guilt, and that’s not fair.”
“NTA.” – TheBookishAndTheBard
“If you’re scheduled to work, don’t even say you can babysit if she would pay you. Just say, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t babysit for you Saturday, I have to work.'”
“If she says you should skip work, just say she should understand that work is an adult responsibility and that you can’t just blow it off or you will lose your job.”
“Ask her, ‘Do you want me to lose my job?’ See just how far she will take her self-centeredness. And then go to work.” – Several_Razzmatazz51
The subReddit could understand the OP feeling torn between family obligations and work obligations, but at the end of the day, babysitting was costing the OP money, time, and potentially even their job, if they resorted to calling off work to care for their cousins.
If their aunt was actually paying them and not guilt-tripping them, and if they saw a future in childcare or elementary education, then it might make sense to continue caring for their cousins.
But as it stood, the OP deserved better than visits to their aunt’s house when their aunt needed it and nothing else in return but guilt.