Choosing the dietary plan that we want to follow involves many factors, not limited to taste and texture preferences, but also physical needs and moral reasoning.
No matter what dietary choices a person makes, however, their choices should be respected like anyone else’s, pointed out the members of the “Am I Overreacting?” (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor GreenGooseGirl had been a vegetarian her entire life, and she believed that her boyfriend of three years, despite still eating meat, respected her and her lifestyle.
But when she realized that he tricked her into eating meat to try to prove a point, the Original Poster (OP) was disappointed but also became physically ill from accidentally eating the meat.
She asked the sub:
“Am I overreacting for becoming ill after my boyfriend tricked me into eating meat?”
The OP had been a vegetarian her entire life.
“I (21 Female) have been a vegetarian my whole life. My mom raised me and my brother vegetarian and taught us to respect animals.”
“My brother started having meat every now and then once he was in college, but I have never in my life eaten meat.”
“Not only am I a vegetarian, but I care a lot about all animals. I literally feel horrible if I accidentally step on a bug (yes, I’m crazy, I know).”
The OP’s boyfriend had the opposite diet, but she believed he respected her.
“My boyfriend of three years (25 Male) is not a vegetarian and eats meat regularly. His family is Dominican, so it’s a large part of his culture and diet.”
“I have no problem with him or his family eating meat. When we have dinner at his parents’, I simply avoid dishes with meat in them and opt for plantains or rice and beans.”
“He has always known and respected my feelings around meat and animals, and makes sure to cook his food in different pans if he’s making a dish with meat while making me a vegetarian version.”
“I have never expected him to stop eating meat, as he has mentioned that he would never be able to give up meat.”
“He has never once tried to ‘convert me’ or convince me to try meat. Even when we first met, he was very respectful.”
Then the OP’s boyfriend started showing more interest in the vegetarian lifestyle.
“About two months ago, he started asking me questions about how I get proper nutrition and overall questions about my diet. He asked about protein sources and how often I eat, etc.”
“I didn’t think much of it, but I was happy to explain anything he was confused and curious about.”
“About three or four weeks ago, I noticed he was starting to eat less meat when we were eating at restaurants or at his parents’.”
“I asked him about it, and he told me he was going to try to give up eating meat because he knew how important it was to me. I was ecstatic, because I never expected him to give up something that means so much to him.”
“After he told me, he started making us both vegetarian meals frequently and commenting on how he thinks he’s actually becoming healthier.”
“I started showing him things I eat instead of meat, like veggie burgers and soy bacon. He said he could hardly tell the difference.”
But then the OP realized that her boyfriend had just been setting her up for a prank.
“While I was in class, he texted me to ask if I wanted him to make us burgers for dinner. I said yes and honestly got so hungry, I could hardly stop thinking about it.”
“When I got to my apartment after class, the table was set, and he was sitting excitedly at the table. I even noticed the box the veggie burgers came in sitting in the recycling bin.”
“When we started eating, I noticed the burger tasted different from it usually did, but I hadn’t had burgers in a bit, so I figured I either misremembered the taste or the change was because my boyfriend had added some extra things into the burger (I’m usually just a cheeseburger kind of girl), so I ignored it.”
“I had about half the burger when my boyfriend started giggling. I asked him what was so funny, and he asked if I had noticed anything different about the burger.”
“I told him it tasted a bit different. He asked if it tasted better than usual. Honestly, it really didn’t, but I didn’t want to insult him, so I said yes.”
“He started laughing louder, which is when I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. I asked again, ‘What’s so funny?’ and he said, ‘I knew you’d like meat more. Doesn’t it taste so good? You were missing out on so much.'”
“I started feeling sick so suddenly that I immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up like three times. I could still hear him laughing in the other room while I sobbed my eyes out.”
“I started having a panic attack while I threw up over and over. He walked over to the doorway and called me dramatic. I slammed the door in his face while trying desperately to breathe.”
The OP was deeply betrayed.
“I’m writing this while still sitting on the bathroom floor. I heard the door open and close around 10 minutes ago, but I still can’t even stand up without feeling nauseous.”
“I know I might be being dramatic, but I really used to pride myself on being a ‘perfect vegetarian,’ because I’m the only one in my family to never eat meat.”
“It’s not even just the eating meat aspect; I feel so betrayed.”
“Like, he was seriously lying about wanting to become a vegetarian? And about not caring about my diet for three years?”
“I feel like I’m going crazy. He texted me five times, but I only read one that said, ‘When you stop crying like a baby over a burger, let me know. This is seriously embarrassing for you.'”
“Am I overreacting? I think I might be about the eating meat part; maybe it’s not that serious. I mainly am wondering if I’m overreacting about feeling betrayed.”
“AIO?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You’re Overreacting
Some pointed out how harmful and potentially dangerous it was to tamper with someone’s food.
“This is similar to feeding someone something they’re allergic to, just to prove to them they’re not really allergic and just a picky eater!” – rmcottage
“This is no different than cooking for a friend who doesn’t drink. If you and I were friends and I even made a dish that had alcohol IN IT, I would tell you. Yes, it cooks off or bakes off. No, you can’t get buzzed from food that has cooked-off alcohol.”
“But that is not the friggin POINT!”
“I really hope OP knows she’s NOR and ends it.” – TicoSoon
“He could have made her incredibly sick. Had a friend at a Hindi restaurant; he was Hindi himself, and assumed they were the ‘same kind.’ He’s the vegetarian kind, and they were the easy meat kind.”
“He was sick for nearly twelve hours with vomiting and diarrhea after eating about four to six ounces of ground meat. Being vegetarian that long means she legit may not have the enzymes necessary to tolerate meat.” – YesterdaySimilar2069
“I’ve been a vegetarian for over 12 years, and even on the accidental occasions I’ve had meat, I’ve gotten very sick. The boyfriend crossed a serious line. For OP, it’s ethical, but what he did was a serious boundary about what she chooses for her body, and he assumed his ethnocentricity is the normal diet.”
“He even belittles and demeans her instead of realizing HE is the one who overreacted to her diet. She was seriously upset, and he called her dramatic… UGH!”
“OP, I hope you dump him.” – LabSheep88
“Honestly, garbage people like this who violate people’s autonomy and choices are often simply insecure and guilty about the way they lead their own lives. (Not defending the behaviour at all, it’s disgusting and you should stay far away from them).”
“People who get weird around sober people, and try to encourage them to drink, often have deep-down fears about their own drinking/drug use and hate that you put up a mirror to themselves.” – Dragovich96
Others urged the OP to end this relationship immediately.
“I would end this relationship immediately. He has ZERO respect for you or your personal autonomy.”
‘Let me give you a comparison: I’ve been sober for 31 years. That means I have not ingested alcohol or any mood-altering substances in all this time. My sobriety is a foundational part of my life, and it is non-negotiable. Anyone who knows me well knows this, and no one has ever tried to convince me to take a drink.”
“Now, what if someone tricked me into drinking alcohol? Would that person be a real friend? Would that person be someone who cared about me and respected me? No, just the opposite.”
“That would be someone who didn’t care about my desires, my choices, my autonomy, and cared only about themselves. Not only would I cut that person out of my life, I also would NOT change my sobriety date because I did not drink on purpose.”
“I hope you realize this person does not love you, does not respect you, and does not care about your feelings. I hope you end this relationship and find someone who loves you for who you are and would never lie to you or betray you as he has. This is unforgivable.” – TheRealLochNessy
“I hope OP finishes with her boyfriend immediately. Disgusting behaviour from someone who was supposed to love her.” – SeraphinaPorter
“NOR. This is a relationship ender. He does not respect you. He thinks he knows better than you. What a garbage guy.” – wishingforarainyday
“Absolutely disgusting behavior from someone who is supposed to love them and is sociopathic behavior. This dude doesn’t give a s**t about OP and just wanted to be ‘right.’ He obviously doesn’t respect OP and her vegetarian beliefs, so what else did she misread about him?”
“He knew OP would be upset and said f*ck it, we do this live, and went along with it, even staging an empty veggie burger box in the bin! This again shows forethought and his malicious intent to harm the person he said he loved, so OP now knows where she stands and that he doesn’t love her and seemingly isn’t capable of loving anyone.”
“THEN instead of remorse at his devious deed and harming the person he said he loved, he decided to turn any potential guilt into hate and disgust at OP by tweeting some more manipulative and psychopathic bulls**t, saying, ‘When you stop crying like a baby over a burger, let me know. This is seriously embarrassing for you.'”
“OP, this is the type of person you want to stay as far away from as possible, and when you leave this person who seemingly hates you and what you stand for, I have a feeling you will see other things you dismissed as the actual abuse it really was.”
“Go no contact with this trash person so he can’t manipulate you further, as you’re NOR and are actually underreacting to what this a-hole did and what that represents to show you the horrible person he really is.” – No-Distance-9401
“NOR. OP, send him just one text message: ‘I hope that your belief that you have proved a point will make you feel powerful, loved, and will keep you company, because it’s costing you a relationship with me.'” – No_Appointment_7232
After receiving feedback, the OP shared an important update.
“Thank you for all of your support and kind words.”
“I packed his things into a box and texted his friend to come get it.”
“And I blocked his number and hope to never speak to him again.”
Fellow Redditors were relieved.
“I’m so relieved to read this!”
“He threw up so many red flags.”
“Acutely: sneaking something in your food counts as poisoning, in my opinion.”
“Disrespectfully: he heard you vomit, he listened to you cry, and his only reactions were a) texting you you’re a crybaby and b) leaving without even checking on you.”
“Fundamentally: how long has he been lying? About being interested in your perspective? About not caring about your lifestyle preference?”
“An internet hug from a stranger, if you want it.” – Stormtomcat
“I’m so glad!! You showed some very good sense.” – Itavan
“Congratulations op! Absolutely the right decision.” – stuffyiceberg
“Good for you. What he did was vicious and cruel, and there is no room for that in any kind of relationship.” – pink_flamingo2003
“Good. It is never okay to feed someone something under false pretenses, especially when against their beliefs or an allergen.” – IJustWantToReadThis
“That’s amazing. Now I want you to know you’re not an imperfect vegetarian. You never chose to eat meat. You were assaulted.”
“As a vegetarian, I know that people will ask the question, ‘Have you ever eaten meat?’ and it’s absolutely okay and not a lie for you to say, ‘no.'”
“You don’t need to go into the story of your abusive ex hiding meat in your food and throwing it up to any curious stranger. Just keep on saying that you’ve never eaten meat.” – secretrebel
“I want to add to Redditor secretrebel’s point above that this is in keeping with religious teachings of Halal (Islam) and Kashrut (Judaism). If you unintentionally break a dietary law, it is not considered a sin or a legal offense.”
“OP did not intentionally and of her own free will eat meat, so the answer is still ‘no.'” – Constant_Host_3212
“Thank heavens!! I’m so proud of you!! You saw him for what he truly is and got rid of him. Please don’t EVER let him back in your life, no matter how much he apologizes.”
“Once someone has shown you who they are, it’s very important you believe them. Someone capable of doing something that sinister is also capable of manipulation, please please never believe him.” – Crazypetgirly
The subReddit completely understood why the OP felt so betrayed by her boyfriend’s actions.
Not only did he lie to her and trick her, but he also tampered with her food in a way that could make her sick because of never having meat to digest in her system before, and then he accused her of overreacting to what he had done to her.
Clearly, this was not someone who was actually on the OP’s team, which meant he deserved no place in her life, let alone at her dinner table.