Sharing a home with roommates poses many challenges.
Working different hours, having different sleeping habits, and differing standards of hygiene and cleanliness.
While some people have to deal with roommates who have no problem using things that don’t belong to them.
Redditor SEARCH_PRO began to notice that things belonging to him continued to steadily disappear.
Knowing full well his roommate was responsible, even though they claimed it was by “accident”.
Having finally had enough, the original poster (OP) took matters into his own hands.
Only to be accused of making his living situation “hostile,” according to his roommate.
Wondering if this was the case, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for labeling my food in the fridge after my roommate kept eating it?”
The OP explained why his roommate accused him of being “hostile”:
“I (24 M[ale]) live with two roommates.”
“We generally buy our own groceries but we share some basics like milk or condiments.”
“One of my roommates has a habit of eating other people’s food ‘by accident’.”
“At least that’s what he says.”
“At first it was small stuff like finishing the last of a bag of chips or using some eggs.”
“I didn’t make a big deal out of it.”
“But recently it’s been happening more.”
“A few weeks ago he ate an entire takeout meal I had saved for lunch the next day.”
“He apologized and said he thought it was his.”
“Last week it happened again with leftovers I had specifically packed for work.”
“So this weekend I bought groceries and put small labels with my name on a few things like yogurt and leftovers.”
“Now my roommate is annoyed and says labeling food makes the apartment feel ‘hostile’.”
“He said we should be able to trust each other and not treat the fridge like an office kitchen.”
“I told him if my food would stop disappearing I wouldn’t need labels.”
“He thinks I’m overreacting and making things awkward in the apartment.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this paticular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for labeling their food.
Everyone agreed that if anyone had made the living situation hostile, it was their roommate, who was clearly just angry that he got caught and was now facing the consequences:
“NTA tell him that since he told you he’s been having memory problems, you’re just doing what you can to help.”
“It’s not awkward unless he’s being dishonest.”- Justhereforthis1post
“NTA.”
“He’s just a thief who got caught.”- Special_Onion3013
“NTA.”
“‘You eating my food feels hostile, and I should be able to trust you to not do that, but clearly I can’t’.”- Jerseygirl2468
“NTA.”
“And stealing food is what makes it hostile, marking it as yours doesn’t.”
“He is just mad he cannot use I didn’t know as an excuse.”
“You are not overreacting.”- catladyclub
“‘He said we should be able to trust each other’.”
“NTA.”
“And who ruined that trust again?”- pottersquash
“Thieves who get caught always try to deflect blame onto you.”
“’You’re making me feel like a thief just because I stole from you!’”
“NTA.”- KarizmaWithaK
“NTA.”
“He made the apartment awkward by taking your stuff not you.”
“He knows he does this and now tries to blame you for the tension from it.”- PrincessAra23
“NTA.”
“You SHOULD be able to trust each other, but he made that unlikely by eating things that didn’t belong to him.”- Most_Wrap8844
“Hahaha NTA.”
“‘We should be able to trust each other’ …”
“Yeah, that would have been nice, but you blew it!”
“You thought the food was yours that you had no recollection of having purchased or put in the fridge?”
“What the f*ck ever man, my food has a sticky on it that says:”
“‘OP’s. $XX.XX + Tax’.”- Sad-Purchase1257
“NTA.”
“Your flatmate is right, you should be able to trust each other.”
“But he has proven you can’t, and therefore your labeling approach is completely logical.”
“His continued theft – and it very much is theft – has created a hostile environment, not your response to it.”
“Now he can see clearly that your food is not his food and he won’t ‘accidentally’ eat it.”
“You’ve done him a favor.”- Outrageous-Ad-9635
“NTA.”
“Theft prevention always feels hostile to thieves.”- The_Bunny_Brat
“NTA.”
“He knows he is untrustworthy, but he doesn’t like being called out on it.”
“Him repeatedly eating all your food is what created a hostile environment.”
“He knew it wasn’t his every damn time.”
“He just didn’t care.”
“Personally, I’d be engraving my silverware at this point.”- NobodysBabyDaddy
“NTA.”
“He’s shown that he will continue to steal from you ‘by accident’.”
“He’s the one bringing tension and stress by stealing from your resources and refusing to respect boundaries.”
“If labeling your food works, great.”
“I’d give him a money amount he owes to replace what he already stole.”
“Restricting his physical access is the next step if he keeps stealing.”
“Locking your stuff up.”
“And demanding immediate reimbursement when he steaks.”
“Because you live with a thief.”- curious382
“‘You’re right, we SHOULD be able to trust each other’. Unfortunately you have proven to be a thief, so I will continue to label my food’.”
“NTA.”- MidoriMidnight
“It feels more hostile when someone steals NTA.”- intotheunknown78
“NTA.”
“Your mooching roomie is the one making things awkward.”
“He’s that guy in offices eating other people’s lunch.”
“This is the same thing except the list of suspects is very very short, and you already know it’s him.”
“And I would be straight up about it.”
“He’s ‘accidentally’ eaten food that belonged to someone else, so clearly labels are warranted.”
“You’re helping him, since he can’t remember what food belongs to him.”
“He’s surrendered any argument that even remotely makes sense about the presence of labels.”
“Putting your name on your food to prevent such errors is not hostile.”
“Putting a label on your food that says ‘GODDAMMIT, LEAVE MY FU*KING TAKEOUT ALONE, BRAD!'”
“Well, that would be hostile.”- Teahouse_Fox
“NTA.”
“If it’s hostile, it’s his fault for eating your stuff.”- secret_identity_too
“NTA he’s stealing your food and now he’s annoyed that he can’t use ignorance as an excuse.”
“Do yourself a favor a get an old bar fridge for your bedroom.”- MapOfIllHealth
“It’s always the thieving types who start moaning about ‘we should be able to trust each other’ and ‘labeling your belongings is so hostile’, isn’t it?”
“NTA at all.”- CaliLemonEater
“NTA.”
“He’s just mad he lost the ability to use the excuse of thinking it was his.”- QueerBooplesnoot
“NTA.”
“When roommates start doing stuff like this they usually start small.”
“They might take one of your snacks.”
“This is how they test you.”
“They wait to see how you respond.”
“If you let it slide, they take more.”
“Then they keep taking.”
“They’ll keep doing it until you stop them.”
“I’d tell him ‘You want to know what a hostile apartment feels like?'”
“Trying living with a piece of sh*t roommate who steals your food’.”- Deep-Okra1461
“NTA.”
“Let your roommate know that having someone eat your food is hostile.”- Just_Bz77
“NTA.”
“He’s stealing your food and blaming you for trying to put an end to his free ride.”
“Confront it directly,”
“You don’t want things being ‘awkward’?”
“Then start showing respect for your roommates and not taking stuff that belongs to you.”
“We’re all just living our lives here, going to work, buying groceries, making lunches, and you’re taking out sh*t.”
“That’s not how this works.”
“Be a grown up and just buy your own food ok?”
“It’s annoying.”- LiveKindly01
“NTA.”
“He made it awkward when he stole your food.”
“If he doesn’t stop get a lock.”- DanaMarie75038
“NTA!”
“I’ve had this situation before!”
“I’m lactose intolerant and got my own lactose free milk!”
“Someone in the house had normal milk and still drank mine first and left the one I couldn’t drink to drink later.”
“This happened no matter what, even if I wrote my name on it it would still disappear.”-VickyGreenbriar
“NTA.”
“He knew he didn’t buy the take out.”
“He just wants to keeping your good and playing dumb.”- Firm_Lecture8956
“NTA.”
“How did he think the takeout was his?”
“Did he remember getting in a dream?”
“He’s just lying.”- Personal_Leek5313
“NTA.”
“Tell him he’s the one who make the apartment hostile.”
“By stealing.”- Embarrassed_dancer
“NTA.”
“But invest in a lockbox for your groceries.”- NoContribution9322
“NTA.”
“He’s right, you should be able to trust each other, but this was of his own doing.”
“He knows what he did was wrong and now you’ve taken his last excuse.”- Consistent-Goat1267
“NTA.”
“It feels hostile because he feels called out.”
“If he had no plans to eat your food why would he care how you mark it?”
“It’s not like you’re marking his food.”- CestLaquoidarling
The OP’s roommate wasn’t wrong in that they all should be able to trust each other.
Unfortunately, thats isn’t the case, and he has no one to blame for that but himself.
The OP’s other roommate might also want to consider labeling their food, now that the OP’s can’t be so easily taken…