Friends are supposed to be there for each other. Particularly when your friend is having a medical emergency.
Instead, some people chose to ignore their friend’s health and lie about it.
Redditor rvrlynneossi encountered this very issue with. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA For cancelling last minute because my boyfriend wasn’t invited?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (20F) have a small friend group that me and my boyfriend (19M) share.”
“For context, my boyfriend has some pretty bad anemia, and is prone to fainting spells, dizziness, etc. He only recently started treatment for it, so he’s not in top shape.”
“I also have terrible asthma, so tons of physical activities give me attacks.”
“A few weeks ago, our friend group went roller skating, which involves a lot of movement and spinning and after going around the rink a few times, my boyfriend fainted while walking back to our table.”
“He was fine, but didn’t want to faint again, so we went around one last time and spent the rest of our time at the arcade.”
“Only one of my friends, Dawn (fake name) was mad at this, but we both brushed it off since nobody was really affected.”
OP’s friends were planning a new outing.
“Yesterday, I received a text from Dawn asking if I wanted to go to our local amusement park, she told me she had sent the same text to my boyfriend as well, I of course said yes.”
“Later, I was fully dressed and ready to leave, but my boyfriend was still in normal clothes relaxing. I asked him why he wasn’t dressed, and he told me he didn’t know we were going anywhere.”
“I texted my friend again and turns out she lied to me, saying she didn’t want to invite him because he’d ‘make a huge scene’ fainting again.”
“I ended up saying I didn’t want to go anymore because she lied, and told her I’d pay her back for my admission ticket if she already bought it.”
“Dawn blew up in our group chat telling everyone how terrible I was for cancelling last minute. I got some private messages from other friends saying I’m TA and that she had a right to not invite him.”
“I was still upset, so I told everyone that we could talk later, I spent the rest of the night staying in with my boyfriend. I don’t think my friend should’ve lied to me, but I’m also not sure if my other friends are right in saying she can invite whoever she wants.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA Your friends are major assholes. If she ‘had a right not to invite him,’ then why would she lie to you about it?”
“And why don’t you have a right to not go when you’ve been lied to and your BF has been excluded because of a medical condition.” ~ SoMuchMoreEagle
“If Dawn came out and told OP not to invite her boyfriend then she would have straight up rejected the invitation instead of canceling last minute.”
“I hate being lied to and worst of all, is when my significant other is intentionally excluded – this would be an ex friend.” ~ hello_friendss
“What I’m baffled by is how they even envisioned this playing out. Did Dawn seriously think OP would never find out her boyfriend hadn’t been txted? Did she think there would be zero conversation between OP and boyfriend? What if OP just thought it was just some miscommunication and just showed up with him anyway? How exactly did Dawn expect this to play out positively for her?” ~ TellSomebodyIt_
“Dawn was hoping that it would get down to the exact point that it did and rather than call last minute she would just go along.”
“I could be wrong but it sounds like it was just gonna be OP and dawn so why didn’t dawn just say hey let’s have some 1 on 1 time together. Dawn is a pot stirrer cause there was a million ways to hang out 1 on 1 with a friend without lying.” ~ Thatpocket
They all agreed OP’s friend shouldn’t lie.
“OP’s just gonna leave the house without her boyfriend and then hang out at the park believing that he’s right there and has turned into the invisible man.” ~ radialomens
“Omg, YES! Just…how exactly did she see that not creating an issue? She honestly thought OP either wouldn’t notice her bf wasn’t there, or wouldn’t ask him about it?”
“100% drama queen (Dawn). And if the friends all thought that OP not going to an amusement park was worse than Dawn lying to her and purposefully excluding her bf, they’re not real friends either.” ~ Wise_Wizardesss3981
“I don’t even get their motive for exclusion. Since when is overdoing a physical activity and needing to rest ‘making a scene?’ How did him not going around a rink as much as the others affect them?”
“NTA” ~ JuliaX1984
“Seriously, if someone faints, how is your immediate reaction not ‘Are you okay? What caused this? How can we prevent it?'”
“The correct way to handle this, if someone is concerned about someone with a medical condition, is to ASK what that person needs and how to avoid triggering their condition. Like, frequent breaks, or just giving the person the go ahead to say ‘You guys go ahead, I’m going to sit for a minute’ and just… believing them?”
“Like, I am on the spectrum and have some severe anxiety, I tend to run out of spoons at family gatherings and get to a point where all the voices just blend together into noise.”
“When that happens, I tend to vanish. My family knows what’s up and expect it, even at parties in my honor like birthdays. My in laws needed it explained, but now I can just tell them “hey I need a break” and I go supervise the babies for a bit in the quiet corner. This is what normal people do when they care about people.” ~ LittleGreenSoldier
OP’s friends need a lesson in empathy.