For anyone who has had an artistic hobby or profession, like painting or sculpture, we understand how expensive some of these items are and even how emotionally attached we can become to them.
One young woman, who was a future art student, discovered recently on the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit just how much her specialty Copic pens meant to her.
Redditor ineedcheese12 came home to a terrible discovery.
But when she didn’t receive support, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was right to be upset.
She asked the sub:
“AITA? My sister ruined my markers, and I asked for compensation?”
The OP had specialty art supplies as she was preparing to go to an arts college.
“I’m 17 [female], going to art college in September, and I’m really excited for it because I’ll be able to start building a portfolio easier and it’ll be a stepping stone into getting a tattoo apprenticeship.”
“My dad (not my sister’s dad) got me a bunch of Copic markers in 2019.”
“I didn’t use them much until last year but now, when I run out of something, usually black or white or red, I just buy them individually because they’re not cheap. I love them and take care of them quite well.”
The OP left her room unlocked for her mother while she was gone.
“I went to my boyfriend’s family mobile home last week from Thursday to Sunday and I didn’t lock my door so my mom could put the washing on my radiator if needed.”
“But I did ask her to lock it when my sister was over.”
“She’s 6, autistic, quite large, and highly destructive, so I lock my door even if I’m in my room when she’s over for the weekend.”
But when she returned, her room was destroyed.
“My mom ended up misplacing my key, so she couldn’t lock the door, and my sister got into my room and destroyed my markers.”
“I have 3 left that work but she somehow managed to ruin the majority of them as well as some drawings and a sketch I’ve been working on a while.”
“She also got at my walls, my white bedsheets, and somehow the cat.”
The OP’s mother and stepdad didn’t support her, either.
“I’m beyond upset. When I asked my mom and my sister’s dad about being compensated for these or at least being bought another set of markers of any kind, they said no, I shouldn’t have been so irresponsible with them.”
“I reminded my mom she was the one who lost my key and it’s her fault they were ruined, she called me an a**hole and she hasn’t spoken to me since.”
“AM I THE A**HOLE?”
The OP also added in the comments:
“I told my dad about it, and he’s really upset for me.”
“He’s upset with my mom too but they don’t communicate.”
“I wouldn’t even think of asking him for some because he’s out of work since the beginning of the pandemic, and now in a lesser paying job, and he isn’t responsible for what my sister does.”
“Any time one of my siblings on his side broke something, which wasn’t that often but it still happened, he replaced it without mentioning it unless he had to.”
“An example of that is my younger brother, who’s 3, accidentally tripped on a wire when getting something from my room. He was fine but it broke both my Alexa and my LED lights.”
“This was a while ago but he replaced them and said I’ll have to just set up the new Alexa next time I’m over. He even went out of his way to put up the new lights for me and then talked to my brother about being more careful.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No **holes Here
Some appreciated the importance and cost of the art supplies.
“NTA. OP, I’m crying for you right now, I have Copics that are almost ten years old at this point and I absolutely cherish them. They’re professional-grade markers and your mother absolutely SHOULD replace them because they were a gift from your father and it is entirely her fault that your sister was able to get into your room and destroy them.”
“I’m sorry OP. I hope you get the markers replaced and that you find a way to keep them protected until you go off to college.” – bequietbecky
“What if you were a medical or nursing student and your special-needs sibling (either full or step) got in because parent lost the key, and busted your stethoscope or blood pressure kit? Would your mother and stepfather consider that worthwhile to compensate you for? Do they not take your art study seriously, and consider it just a hobby or a phase you’re going through?”
“I’m with those suggesting you talk to your dad. You and he know how important those markers are to you and how much they cost. Maybe he can reason with those unreasonable people.”
“And what about the cat? Did your sister use the markers on the cat? If she is ‘quite large and highly destructive,’ I’d be concerned for the cat’s safety, and maybe also the kid’s if the cat became defensive.” – Rural_Bedbug
Some thought the mother was falsely blaming the OP.
“NTA. Presumably, your mom knew what it was you specifically wanted to keep your sister from (the markers), so when she realized she couldn’t lock your room, she should have at least rescued the markers and put them somewhere safe.”
“Your mom and your sister’s dad are the AHs both for not helping you buy new markers but also just for not keeping a close eye on your sister in general, knowing that she is like this.” – eugenesnewdream
“Your MOTHER allowed your sister into your room and your sister destroyed your property. Mom should replace the property since she failed to properly supervise your sister and keep her out of your room.” – Algebralovr
“No. You are not. Your mother was irresponsible, which led to your things being destroyed. She is telling you that you are the a**hole because she doesn’t want to feel like the bad guy.”
“You’re going to have to replace them yourself. She’s not going to do it. Or, she’ll get them for your birthday or Christmas.” – Inner-Nothing7779
“Nta. It seems like she’s trying to pass the blame of irresponsibility to you. You had a key to your room for her for this specific reason.”
“She lost the key, irresponsible. She neglected to watch your sister for who knows how long, enough time to cause all that mess, irresponsible!”
“I think this crummy situation wouldn’t have happened if not for your mom. She wants you to take responsibility for her two mistakes in this situation. Does she want you to bathe the marked up cat too?” – SavingSky0
Others suggested that the OP talk to her dad.
“NTA. I knew this was going to be about Copic markers. You’re underage. Your dad bought them. He needs to handle this.”
“Your mother is an irresponsible &$$&#. She needs to replace everything your sister ruined immediately. Misplaced your key, my left ankle.” – slendermanismydad
“NTA. You correctly pointed out that it was your mom who was irresponsible and she doesn’t like that she was called out on it. I’m sorry your mom is such AH. The fact that she called you an asshole is even worse AH behavior. I suggest you talk with your dad.” – fatfarko69
“Absolutely understandable that you want them all in good condition, and you are totally NTA for expecting your possessions to be replaced when damaged – but you have to pick your battles here.”
“Your mum and stepdad clearly aren’t going to step up to the plate of taking responsibility. The remaining options are to try and make the best of them and slowly replace the ones you need to as you go. It sucks, 100%, but sadly this is part of becoming and being an adult.”
“It is a reasonable expectation that your room is a safe space, sadly this isn’t always the case even for adults. The only thing I can suggest is potentially asking for a key code lock if they can’t be trusted with the key, or if you are able to keep your valuables at your dad’s place and use off-brand items at your mum’s so that if they do get destroyed/damaged, the result isn’t as expensive to replace. Is moving in with your dad an option?”
“Your dad needs to step up and start communicating with your mum – regardless of his issues with her and vice versa, he is a co-parent.” – Aradene
Though the pens are expensive and frustrating to replace, the subReddit agreed that the OP’s mother and stepdad really should take responsibility and replace what was ruined.
However, the sub was suspicious they would not do that, so the next best thing is for the OP to be even more proactive with her possessions to prevent something like this from happening again.