The most popular pets in the world are dogs and cats, but people keep representatives of almost every family of the animal kingdom as pets.
While in most of the world, cats and dogs are seen as “normal,” other species are labeled exotic or strange. But that doesn’t alter their owners feelings for them.
A teen who keeps a less common, but still popular pet turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback after her boyfriend’s father mocked her for her choice.
Able_Birthday1030 asked:
“AITA for asking my boyfriend’s dad whether he planned on eating his pet cat?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I (19, female) met my boyfriend (26, male)’s parents for the first time last weekend over lunch. He warned me his parents could be a little bit weird, so I was prepared for that.”
“But during the lunch, they made repeated jabs at me for my age which I did not appreciate. The topic of pets came up in the conversation and I told them about my pet rabbits.”
“When his dad heard this he asked whether I was raising them for food and at this point I was quite offended and said ‘well are you raising that cat for food?’ and pointed at their cat, to which he said something to the effect of ‘don’t talk back’ which I found quite infantilising and a bit creepy.”
“I excused myself from the lunch.”
The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.
“I made a hostile retort insinuating I had reason to believe my boyfriend’s father would eat his cat.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) although many had thoughts on the age difference.
“If the boyfriend isn’t even standing up for you, maybe you should find someone else. He a full adult with a barely legal teen for a reason… Can’t find someone his own age willing to accept him?”
“His weird family should have been put in their place from the jump, but he’s letting them belittle you and talk to you in a way that requires you to have to stand up for yourself.”
“Excuse yourself from that relationship.” ~ AliciaBrownSugar
“Why is a 26-year-old dating a teenager?” ~ GiraffePrimary3128
“You know why…” ~ ilovemelongtime
“If they were poking fun at her age, I feel like they were more so trying to shame their son… or try and make her so uncomfortable she leaves their son.” ~ UmbraVulp
“This is weird, and I’ll bet his rude parents are part of the reason he can’t keep a girl his own age. Did he even try to stand up for you, or just let you leave?”
“Seems pretty cowardly to me. Might be a good idea to look for a guy your own age, as guys that date down are usually super immature and not looking to change/improve themselves like other men their age should be.” ~ FrenchToastedArt
“Half the age +7 (26/2+7=20) seems to be the socially acceptable age gap. Which makes her too young even by this ‘rule’… I like her attitude, she seems to be able to stand her ground. NTA.” ~ tulamidan
“Y’all need to stop citing this ‘rule’ as though it’s ‘socially acceptable’ or some sort of reasonable standard.”
“The truth is that it was quite literally invented by a novelist over 100 years ago, as a means of determining the lowest possible age he could get away with making a ‘nubile young bride’ for one of his male characters without skeeving out readers.”
“It’s not some sort of objectively reasonable age standard, it’s a creepy, misogynistic equation made up by a fiction writer for his stories.”
“And the fact that so many people reference it without bothering to find out where it came from or what the underlying ‘rationale’ of it is just speaks to how easily people will believe in and even promote absolute bullshit without looking into it at all.” ~ Sorry_I_Guess
“Personally, I feel like a hard line at 21 works for me: as soon as I could drink legally, it felt weird to hang out with people who couldn’t.” ~ Ask_about_HolyGhost
“Pisses me off, every time you say you have a pet rabbit people always like to make a ‘hilarious’ rabbit stew comment or similar and it’s like shall I shove your dog in a stew? Wait, Not funny? Right back at you. NTA.” ~ NellieFl
“Yep. I had someone doing work at my house and he asked if my rabbit tastes good and if I had good recipes for rabbit stew. He didnt earn his tip due to his unprofessional comments. NTA.” ~ kfisch2014
“They do it for any animal other than a dog or cat.”
“How do I know? I’ve had them all, fostered, rescued, worked at zoos and I’ve been doing it ~30 years.”
“Even at the zoo, men would make those ‘jokes’ and get upset at blank stares of revulsion from staff and volunteers.”
“If you say you have a PET balloon animal, someone thinks it’s funny to joke about eating it.”
“Family have chickens, if anyone says they have pet chickens, I know they’re not eating them because it’s a PET.”
“Literally the worst men on the planet will defend this tacky, unfunny ‘joke’ with their lives (and some women too).” ~ Deflated_Hypnotist
“Seriously. I have a bearded dragon, and I’ve had people ask me if I know what they taste like. Like, no, that’s my pet, you freak.”
“I grew up in a family that raised animals for food, including rabbits, and we certainly didn’t call them our pets. We called them our livestock. Or food stock. Loved and cared for, but never considered pets.”
“Once someone says pet, that should be the clue they aren’t planning to eat it.” ~ SirMasonParker
“In my experience, people generally display a stunning lack of originality. If I had a smack on the head for every wanna-be comedian who asked if I can ride my Great Danes, or do I have saddles for my Great Danes, I’d be dead and buried.” ~ IllustriousPart3803
“I had a friend who repeatedly kept telling me how I should prepare/cook my dog for months. Despite me telling him to stop, how it wasn’t funny, how offensive it was (we’re both Chinese and grew up in North America where obviously this was not practiced but is a harmful stereotype), outright ignoring him, etc… he wouldn’t quit.”
Finally went on a group trip with a bunch of other friends, and he tripled down on dog-eating jokes. One girl finally lost it and screamed at him in front of everyone to ‘stop telling her to eat her dog’ you f-ing jerk!’.”
“That finally shut him up. But I swear, up until that moment, he thought he was hilarious.” ~ ravynwave
“Where the heck was your boyfriend during all their jabs at you?! It feels like the cat comment came from a build up of their behavior—not just from their rabbit comment.”
“Did he ever step in or at least try to politely defuse things? How did he react to you leaving?” ~ DragonCelica
“26-year-old men don’t date teenage girls because they plan to treat them well.” ~ Massive_Letterhead90
“NTA. You met his parents, but you don’t mention anything about BF’s mom. My guess is that she sat and smiled and ate something small and didn’t say much.”
“In other words, BF’s dad has her ‘trained’ the way he expects women to be. And unfortunately, that is also what your BF expects.”
“And that’s why a 26-year-old man is interested in a 19-year-old woman—women his age won’t put up with this kind of BS. And neither should you.” ~ 1962Michael
“Why were they attacking YOU for existing as a 19-year-old, and not your boyfriend for dating a teenager? If someone has an issue with the age-gap, blame the older person. Instead, too many people are patronising and rude to the younger person.”
“So no, it makes no sense that he asked if you were gonna eat your own pets, any more than if someone asked a horse owner if they were gonna carve their animals into steak. You were there, and it was obviously a bad ‘joke’.”
“You excused yourself like the self-assured and collected person you are, so not sure why folks are suggesting that your measured withdrawal from the drama was in any way immature.” ~ banallmilkcrickets
“Seems like immaturity that has nothing to do with age runs in that family.” ~ Sarissa32
“You just pointed out some hypocrisy, and a fully grown adult didn’t take that well. That said, why didn’t your boyfriend stand up for you? That, in addition to the age gap, is worrying. NTA.” ~ Forkyou
“Stop talking to all these people. Boyfriend is trash for dating a teenager. Family is trash for raising a man who dates a teenager, and they talk sh*t to her about their son’s choice to date a teenager over a meal.”
“Truly. Do not engage with these people anymore. Any of them. ANY OF THEM. This isn’t just red flags, this is a red wipeout. NTA.” ~ NonSequitorSquirrel
The OP didn’t offer an update or further information about their boyfriend’s behavior during lunch or in the aftermath.
Regardless, Reddit was pretty clear in their belief that this relationship isn’t worth OP’s time.