Single people with pets have a special bond with their companions which can be all types of animals—whether they are feathered, scaly, finned or furry.
They are, in a sense, their own family unit.
But when a person romantically bonds with a human, things could get complicated.
Redditor Rabbit_Hopps is a 25-year-old female with pets who faced a dilemma when her relationship with her 31-year-old boyfriend was ready for the next step.
She visited the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for refusing to give away my pet rabbits to move in with my boyfriend?”
The Original Poster (OP) cheerfully began:
“Hi! Hope you’re all staying safe!”
“I don’t have many people to ask about this, and my mum and dad both said I’m being childish in this situation. And I might just be being ridiculous, so I need some more perspective.”
“I have had two of my pet rabbits for about 4 years, I love them dearly and they’re really awesome pets. I’ve really bonded with them.”
“Issue is, my boyfriend is one of those guys that doesn’t like any animal apart from dogs.”
“Since we’ve been dating for nearly 3 years, we have finally started speaking about moving in together. We decided it would be best for me to move in with him as he owns a nice house and I’m in a flat at the moment.”
“Everything was fine and dandy until he brought up a set of rules and in it mentioned that he does not want the rabbits coming with me. I asked why, and he said he doesn’t like rabbits, and that they’re too noisy and smelly.”
“I didn’t put up much of a fight, and said I will not be moving in with him if my rabbits can’t come with me. He didn’t like that answer and has been cold to me since.”
“He has said he will only speak to me about moving out once I decide to stop being so immature. And since my parents agree with him, I feel like an a**hole.”
“AITA for not giving up my rabbits to move in with my boyfriend?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was NTA.
“Never give up something as cherished as a pet for anyone unless there is absolutely no other choice. He’s the one that sounds immature, keep your babies. NTA.” – fatolderlady2
“Yup. Like if he was allergic to rabbits and that’s why he didn’t want them, I could understand that. Living on allergy meds can be expensive and seriously impact quality of life.”
“But the whole ‘nah I don’t like them’ without even discussing a possible hutch situation or something (also, is there a basement? A spare room? ) makes him TA.” – beltacular
“absolutely NTA!! If anything HE is being a controlling A**. If this is what being in a relationship with him is going to be like…i’d run a mile… plus he has known you have had the rabbits since he started dating but said nothing then?”
“and now all of a sudden he decides to drop that bombshell on you?”
“Regardless whether it’s rabbits..cats..etc… he had already decided whatever your pet preference was… unless a dog.. it was not coming with you to ‘his’ house when you moved in together.”
“That is a HUGE red flag right there – not about the pets bit… but about his controlling behaviour and then his reaction when he didnt get his way
“Also as it’s ‘his’ house he would use that over you and get to dictate everything that goes on..as long as you live with him.”
“The fact he is not even willing to compromise, should show you what’s in store for you should you move and go live in his house with him…”
“It also sux that your parents don’t have your back on this either :(“
“I wish you well on whatever you decide to do xx” – – kimberwhitehead78
“Yeah, notice how quickly he produced a set of rules, no discussion of what both parties agree to, straight to these are the rules of his house, you have to abide by them if you want to move in, and not he’s sulking because she has abided by his ultimatum!” – Sfb208
“Just want to add to this.”
“Guys who ‘only like dogs’ usually only like them because they can bully and intimidate them into to behaving exactly the way THEY want them to.”
“HUGE red flag, run far and find a guy the likes all animals.” – mybeatsarebollocks
“The issue here is 1. Him wanting her to give up pets she already has, without any real reason other than dislike (no allergies or phobia or anything). 2. Him getting pi**y when she made the perfectly reasonable choice to keep living alone if he insists on her not taking her pets.”
B”ut in and of itself, I don’t see any red flag in just not being into other animals. Like, my bf is super sweet toward my cat (helps give him his medicine and everything), but he definitely prefers dogs.”
“He would never have asked me to give up my cat when I moved in. But he also wouldn’t have been into adopting a cat together if I had come into the relationship without one.” – shes_got_a_way
“NTA, now I’m going to be the odd one but I dont like rabbits either, for me they do smell and make noise, but if I was dating someone who had pet rabbits then wanted her to move in with me I would expect the rabbits to be a part of the deal.”
“Like others said, a pet is not a spur of the moment thing, they will be your companion for their full life, and it would be cruel just to get rid of them because someone doesn’t like them.”
“I’d personally think twice before moving in with this guy, rabbits don’t take up that much room in the grand scheme of things and he could easily avoid dealing with them, this is a way he is trying to force you to take his side and obey his rule but when you live with someone it is 50/50 your opinions matter the same amount as his.”
“If I was you I’d keep the rabbits and toss the boyfriend if he doesn’t like it.”
“Have him look up the definition of the word: Compromise.”
Overall, a majority of Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole and encouraged her to reconsider the boyfriend’s “set of rules” before committing to moving in with him.