When you’re in a relationship, you do things for one another.
You’re each others point person.
When the chips are down, you carry each other.
At least that what we’ve all been lead to believe.
Some of us may be confused.
Case in point…
Redditor PerceptionSure4480 wanted to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
AITA for not tying my girlfriend’s shoelaces?
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My (24 M[ale]) girlfriend (24 F[emale]) broke her hand recently.”
“We had dinner with some of my friends last night.”
“She insisted on wearing shoes with laces.”
“I asked her how she planned on tying her shoelaces if they got untied.”
“She said she’d make me tie them.”
“I told her I wouldn’t and that she’d end up breaking her other hand.”
“I’m guessing she thought I was joking because her shoelaces did get untied when we were out with my friends and she told me to tie them.”
“I laughed in her face and told her to tie them herself.”
“She stared at me angrily like I did something wrong by refusing to tie her stupid shoelaces that I warned her about.”
“I avoided her for the rest of the night.”
“I noticed her shoelaces were tied on the way home so she probably made some poor guy tie them for her.”
“She slept on the couch last night and won’t talk to me.”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP WAS the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“YTA. Why are you with someone you clearly don’t like or give a s**t about?” ~ Strawberry_fields5
“When I was pregnant my husband refused to let me struggle with my shoes.”
“He always helped me.”
“After I gave birth, like months later.”
“I was having a back issue and asked him to help me with my shoes.”
“He was kneeling down and looked up at me and said you know… I really miss helping you with your shoes.”
“I was like WHO ARE YOU? lol.”
“He loved me and wanted to help me however he could.”
“OP clearly doesn’t give a damn about his G[irl]F[riend].” ~ kochanie2013
“I had a friend with benefits (we weren’t even bf/gf!) and one day I was sitting on his bed watching tv.”
“It was cool outside and we had the windows open so I was sitting with a blanket wrapped around me, but bare feet.”
“When he came in he sat down next to me and my icy feet touched his leg and he freaked out.”
“’Your feet are freezing!’ he says.”
“Then he goes into his closet, gets a pair of his socks, and puts them on my feet.”
“Like what is so hard about doing something nice for someone you care about??” ~ TA122278
“When my husband hurt his back, I was putting his socks and shoes on for him every morning cause like… I care about him.”
“I hope OP’s girlfriend finds someone who actually likes her at the very least.” ~ ingirlworld
“I don’t have a broken hand, but when we go skiing, my boyfriend puts on my boots and takes them off for me because he knows I’m new to it and it takes me a long time to figure it out.”
“Does he have to? Absolutely not.”
“He does it on his own and without me ever asking because he loves me and want to make my life easier.
“OPs girlfriend has a broken hand and literally can’t do it on her own.”
“I hope she dumps OP because she deserves so much better.” ~ Ill-Permission-2883
“My husband had a very demanding job where he knew he was not going to be able to help all the time so he bought me a really nice pair of shoes that don’t actually tie.”
“I love them and the have been one of the best gifts he has ever gotten me.” ~ PerspectiveNo8799
“His male ego is so incredible fragile he can’t ‘put it aside’ to help out his GF.”
“So it’s not that he doesn’t like or give a s**t about HER, it’s that he considers himself to be so superior to ALL women that tying his girlfriends shoe when her hand was broken is so incredibly beneath him that it would damage his masculine image.”
“And he’s so worried that if people saw him do that, how he saw himself ‘as a man’ would crumble so he couldn’t bring himself to do it.”
“It’s so boring to hate women in this way.”
“I thought we were done with toxic masculinity of this kind.”
“The funny thing is, he’s clearly not much of anything and no one sees him as anything much.”
“Certainly not as some paragon of masculinity (whatever that means, although my paragon of masculinity (humanity) would be the kind of guy who would do up anyones shoe.”
“Or carry their bag or open a door if the other person was injured.”
“Everyone just sees him as an AH who wouldn’t tie his hurt girlfriend’s shoe.” ~ Dark_fascination
“Some people seriously can’t grasp the concept of empathy.”
“My ex broke her leg REALLY badly when we were together, 6 months bed rest and another 6 before it was weight bearing.”
“She was sent home from the hospital with 100 oxys, and had to have two every 4 hours.”
“I couldn’t sleep in the bed with her because I move in my sleep and couldn’t risk hitting her busted leg.”
“And still had to sleep in the same room to wake up and give her meds.”
“Solution was a little foam camping mattress next to the bed on the floor, so I could be nearby if she needed something.”
“My brother was visiting and saw it and asked if that was where the dog slept.”
“I told him what it was for and he thought it was the funniest thing.”
“He told EVERYONE that my gf made me sleep on a dog bed on the floor, and how degrading that was for me.”
“He literally could not grasp that I would choose to be slightly uncomfortable to provide some level of comfort to someone else.”
“Another time we were at my parents house and it was a full house, no seating room.”
“He was lying on a lounger chair and made his gf sit on the floor instead of giving it up or sharing it.”
“There are people like this in the world.” ~ macanmhaighstir
“I recently tore a ligament in my thumb.”
“My hand is wrapped, and it is extremely hard to do anything.”
“Last night I was visiting friends and at one point I was struggling to put on a pair of socks.”
“One of my friends came right over and put my socks on for me.”
“Do you know why? Because he’s not an a**hole.”
He saw someone he cared about struggling and helped without giving it a second thought.”
“OP clearly doesn’t care about his girlfriend, and it’s questionable whether he’s mature enough for a relationship at all.”
“YTA.” ~ LadyBangarang
“I know! The whole ‘I avoided her for the rest of the night like aren’t you a couple?”
“I would get if she demanded he tie her shoes if she was perfectly capable but like her hand is broken.”
“Yes maybe she could have worn other shoes but why is it such a big deal to tie them for her if she is incapable at the moment?
“YTA.” ~ Street-Mall3318
“Perfectly said! OP is YTA.”
“Though you do make it sound like your girlfriend told you instead of asked you to tie her shoes but that doesn’t seem to be an issue and you weren’t gonna do it anyway.”
“But you have some weird immature petty s**t happening.”
“I would also like to know why you are with someone you don’t care about?”
“Is it just her you don’t care about or is this just who you are as a person?” ~ Halfwayhouserules33
“YTA and you also sound like a fool.”
“Your GF is injured and not only did you refuse to tie her shoes but also laughed in her face AND avoided her for the rest of the night.”
“If I were her I’d avoid you for the rest of my life.”
“Grow up and avoid relationships until you do.” ~ michaelscottscofield
“YTA I hope she dumps you.”
“The fact that she went to put shoes on and your first thought was pretty much ‘well you’re hopeless how are you gonna even function’ is so sh**ty.”
“And then your assumption that when someone finally tied her f**king shoes for her that it was ‘some poor guy.’”
“Maybe if you treated your girl right ‘some poor guy’ or anyone else wouldn’t have to tie her shoes!!!”
“You’re a piece of work!!!” ~ frankie_k_bye
“YTA you just showed her that she cannot count on your help.”
“Trust me when I say she spent that night on the couch realizing that she and she alone will be responsible for anything that makes you feel put out.”
“Pregnant, postpartum, medical illness or injury it will be all her responsibility.”
“You screwed yourself by opening her eyes.”‘
“Hope it was worth the petty point you think you won.” ~ tyvicdenp305007
Well hopefully OP is listening close.
Reddit didn’t mince words.
It sounds like he may have some work to do on his relationship and himself.
He may want to be a little more helpful around the house these days.