Diets can be very frustrating.
When you find yourself unable to eat some of your favorite foods, sometimes even when your friends are eating them right in front of you at parties and gatherings.
Diets can also be frustrating for friends and family of those following them, as it can severely limit the options when it comes to cooking or choosing a place to go out for dinner.
Redditor MedSTUDentOntario found himself struggling with this very problem after his girlfriend began following a super strict diet.
When the original poster (OP)’s girlfriend came home one night to discover he made something delicious, she couldn’t wait to try it.
So excited, in fact, that the OP left out a vital piece of information, which she was furious to discover a few days later.
Wondering if what he did was really so wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for lying to my gf about the pizza I made was gluten free?”
The OP explained how after his girlfriend came home to discover what he’d been working on in the kitchen, he didn’t have the heart to tell her it didn’t align with her diet.
“My girlfriend (24 F[emale]) works as a model and she has an incredibly strict diet.”
“Virtually she eats is organic and gluten free so it makes very difficult to cook for her, we take turns cooking for each other.”
“At first I tried to look on the bright side and appreciate the fact this would get me to eat healthier, but there only so many times I can eat salads and sushi for dinner.”
“Last week I was at my breaking point and decided to make some home made pizza, I’m a Italian.”
“Now I have made gluten free versions before, but I find that it tastes gross so I went with regular white flower.”
“The original plan was for me to eat a bit of pizza while she was out and to make us a couple of Western omelettes for dinner, but she came home earlier than expected and caught me pulling the pizza out of the oven.”
“She was so surprised and happy that I made pizza for dinner that I didn’t have the heart to tell her that it wasn’t gluten free.”
“A couple days later she figured out that I lied and accused me of being selfish/unsupportive.”
“I tried explaining to her that she’s gorgeous just the way she is and that eating ‘regular food’ now and then won’t change that.”
“I also brought up my concerns about her feeling the need to fixate on her diet when she already has 10k+ followers on Instagram.”
“This literally brought her to the verge of tears, because in her mind it makes me unsympathetic to the beauty standards expected of her.”
“I did NOT make my gf sick, she found out because when she was looking for gluten free flower a couple days later and couldn’t find any she confronted my about the pizza and I confessed.”
“Also she does NOT have any medical condition that requires her to avoid gluten.”
“I don’t think that a lot of you guys realize that I wasn’t trying to deceive her intentionally.”
“The main reason why I said it wasn’t gluten-free was because she was excited when she saw the pizza and I didn’t want to take that away from her.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The OP received little to no sympathy from the Reddit community, who felt he was very clearly the a**hole for feeding his girlfriend a pizza with gluten.
Everyone agreed that even if she wasn’t actually allergic to gluten, the OP should never have served her food without telling her all the ingredients that were in it.
“You lied about something important to her.”- Significant-Ad7390
“She looks the way she does precisely because she maintains a strict, extremely hard to maintain diet.”
“You just told her not to follow the diet, in fact, that her following the diet was inconvenient and displeasing to you.”
“BUT also that you love the results of the diet.”
“That makes you cluelessly insensitive.”
“You just put her in a terrible bind.”
“Why do dudes always want a girl who will wolf down pub grub all day AND look like a movie star?”
“The diet is so hard on you.”
“Her being a model and the expectations her industry puts on her are so inconvenient for you.”-Agreeable-Celery811
“Never, ever, ever lie about what goes into food you’re offering other people.”
“The proper course of action would have been to tell her the truth, and maybe suggest she have just a half a slice to enjoy the taste, and hold her over until those western omelets later in the day.”-GM_Pax
“You NEVER make people eat food they wouldn’t eat if they knew what it was.”
“For lying to begin with; there’s nothing wrong with saying ‘no honey, this is traditional pizza, not gluten free’ & the fact you made that choice for her is wrong.”
“You could have compromised her job by lying to her; some people do have gluten intolerance that causes abdominal bloating & if she had a paid shoot you could have costed her income.”
“If she has dietary restrictions for her job then you should honor that since those are her choices.”-Few-Entrepreneur383
“’I made this pizza for myself, you wouldn’t want any, it is not gluten free’.”
“‘I was expecting you home later and I was planning on making omelettes for us to eat then’.”
“Next time, if you know you’ll be home early please let me know, so I can plan dinner accordingly’.”
“That’s all you needed to say.”
“Based on your post, you didn’t outright lie, or ‘make her’ eat the pizza, as someone else said in a comment.”
“But you did fail to tell her something you know very well would be important for her to know.”
“Why would you do that?”
“She was ‘so happy’ you made pizza, but she’s not a child, she can endure the disappointment that it was not for her.”
“That’s better than just watching her eat it, without letting her know that it’s outside her usual dietary habits.”- Bookish4269
“You know what her self-imposed rules are, and you stood by and watched her eat something that broke her rules.”
“You should’ve told her immediately and let her make her own decision.”
“If this kind of diet regime is too much for you, you’re with the wrong gal.”
“Eat what you want, but don’t trick her into eating something that’s off-limits.”- wordsmythy
“I’m not celiac but I do cut out gluten because my doctor has corrected that it’s the cause of my extreme eczema on my hands and my severe bloating.”
“If someone lied to me and I ate it, I would be in legit pain.”
“Because my body is no longer used to gluten.”
“In short, I hope she breaks up with you.”
“You do NOT lie about what’s in food.”
“And by the way, you sure sound like you enjoy the benefits of her diet ie.”
“h]Her body is perfect just the way it is!”
“Her 10k Instagram followers!”
“Blah blah blah!”- prairieislander
“You don’t get to decide what other people do or don’t eat.”
“She also doesn’t get to tell you what you can eat.”
“It would have been better to be honest about the pizza, that you were having a craving for some gluten-full crust, (which should be okay if you’re not forcing her to eat it, and offered to make her the omelet.”- grrlclimber
“No question, YTA.”
“If you have concerns about your gf’s diet, bring them up like an adult rather than treating her like a child who can’t make her own decisions.”- headdeskreact
“YTA regardless of someone’s reasoning don’t lie about what’s in their food especially if they make it explicitly clear that there’s something they don’t want to be eating.”- plaugedoctorbitch
“YTA for lying about the ingredients.”
“You could make someone really sick.”- rainyreminder
“Next time use your words buddy.”
“Would it have been so difficult to have said:”
“‘Oh I am sorry honey, this isn’t gluten free and I wasn’t expecting you home so early’.”
“‘I was going to make us western Omelets when you got home’.”
“‘Of course you can have some pizza but I just wanted you to know it has gluten’.”
“Instead you let her eat it and when she was upset about not being told the truth, you doubled down and gaslit her into being the one with issues instead of the problem actually being you.”
“Telling her she is fixating on diets and belittling her lifestyle choices and making her feel wrong in the choices she makes.”
“Choices that are 100% hers to make.”
“You should have at that point just apologized like a grown man and maybe told her the truth in the first place.”
“Even the second time around when she figured out you had lied, you still didn’t tell her the truth.”
“You didn’t tell her you didn’t have the heart to tell her no when she seemed so happy for the pizza, but also I don’t think that is even the truth.”
“When she got home early willing to eat the pizza, you just wanted her to eat ‘normal’ food so you purposefully manipulated, lied, and gaslight her even further.”
“YTA big time buddy.”- CordeliaJJ
One could supposedly sympathize with the OP in not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend.
But as several people in the Reddit community pointed out, he was lucky that she was not eating gluten by choice, as his actions could have. otherwise been extremely dangerous.
Hopefully he realizes this, and offers his girlfriend the apology she deserves, particularly if he wants to stay in this relationship.