Most of us have had to plan at least one event in our lives, so we understand how important the guest list is.
This may be especially true for a trip when everyone needs to plan and chip in their payment ahead of time.
Because what happens if someone gets invited at the last minute, questioned the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Humnjukebox found herself in a tough spot when her sister wanted to bring an additional person to the bachelorette party, but free of charge.
When she saw her sister's reaction, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was being petty.
She asked the sub:
"AITA for telling my sister she cannot bring a random person on my bachelorette trip?"
The OP made arrangements for her bachelorette trip with her wedding party.
"My sister and maid of honor (22 [Female]) helped plan my (25 [Female]) bachelorette trip that is coming up soon."
"We will be traveling about 8 hours away, so my bridesmaids and I are leaving pretty early in the morning."
The OP's sister messed up the plans.
"My sister recently started a new job and will not be able to get off in time to ride with us."
"Instead of buying a one-way plane ticket (which is cheaper than the gas to get there) and riding back with us, my sister wants to drive up with her friend."
"Not only does she expect this person to come for free (as my bridesmaids have already generously split and paid for the trip), but I have only met this girl once."
"AITA for not wanting my sister's friend to come just so she doesn't have to drive alone or fly to meet us?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP had every right to control who came to her party.
"NTA. Bachelorette parties are typically made up of those who are closest friends of the bride. Having a stranger there changes the whole group dynamic. Sis can take a bus, fly or rent a car, but she shouldn't be inviting her friend to your party, on your bridesmaids' dime" - Seeker131313
"if the sister DOES know everyone, then the friend ends up sitting there like a bump on a log because now the sister will be off and talking to everyone and seeing to details, as the co-host. I had that happen to me more than once." - BlueBirdOcean
"Yeah she's 22, she is MORE than old enough to fly or drive by herself! Poor op, defo NTA." - Bob10294759
"NTA. I think it's important to add that if you DO let your sister do this, you'd be the AH to your bridesmaids by having them pay for this stranger to have a free trip. If you have a guilty conscious (like me), then remind yourself that you're standing up for your friends and it's not just about you (although it's your bachelorette party so this is the BEST time for it to be all about you!!)." - rachellethebelle
Others wondered how much trouble it would be to let the friend come.
"Eh, I let my MOH invite two of her friends because I moved across the country after college and she knew no one- I had 13 guests and she had only met one of them (ended up at 15 with her two friends)."
"Her friends didn't stay with us at the house, but they came to the events and I know it made my MOH feel so much more comfortable. The more the merrier! And they were lovely girls, which I knew they would be because I love and trust my MOH."
"I'm not saying OP doesn't have the right to say no, but it's not shitty of her sister to want to have a friend around. Bachelorette parties are not that fun if you know no one, especially if you're introverted." - cmc
"Questions. Is anyone else going friends with your sister. She is the maid of honor and there as family but does she know anyone outside you. Not sure about financials and what hotel expenses new girl may add. But sis might have just been trying to bring someone so she didnt feel left out with your friends. But hey your the bride so really its up to you and your sis should understand that." - Whimmy_wham__wozzle
"NAH. I would allow it if your sister vouches for thr friend because that is a very inconvenient trip for someone to take alone. Would you rather not have your sis there or have someone you don't really know?" - jittery_raccoon
"NAH. You're not the asshole for not wanting her friend there, but she's also not the asshole for wanting a friend on the 8-hr drive with her. If you want her there, you have to make some concessions."
"I agree the sister or her friend should pay for their spot. That would be a good compromise." - EarthWyndFyre
Some were miffed by the possibility of someone attending for free.
"NTA it's YOUR Bachelorette party and you decide who goes. Also yeah its pretty shitty that your sister expects this friend to come for free" - LazySkips
"NTA, you don't know her, and going on that trip is suppose to be an honor, not 'let your sister bring random friends' that's going to annoy the others on the trip. Tell her you and the others aren't paying for the trip and her friend won't join in the fun" - A-Person1934
"NTA- um that's a big no. That's a time for friends/family you've known for years to kick back and share memories. You're sisters just trying to get the friend a free trip, totally not cool. OR tell this friend she has to pay $$ for her share bet that will have her change it up." - shadow-foxe
"NTA."
"It is your bachelorette party for you and your friends to celebrate. Not for your sister's friend to hitch a free vacation. She can drive with your sister, but I wouldn't let her participate in any activities with the party. She wasn't invited, and she shouldn't be upset about that as you've only barely met." - frogallie
The bride had some mixed feelings about how to handle this situation, and the subReddit could see why. Some said it was distasteful for an additional person to come, especially for free, but others understood that the sister might want company on the drive out.
One thing is for certain, no matter what decision the bride makes, it will change the dynamics of the party: the maid of honor potentially won't be there without a companion, or otherwise, there's an extra person crashing the wedding party.
Woman Breaks Up With 'Clingy' Boyfriend For Making Joke About 'Getting With' Her Sister
As much as we might want to date someone, there's no point in trying to gain the attention and affection of someone who does not want to reciprocate.
Dating someone "similar" to fill that void isn't a good look, either, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Flashy-External1666 had been long-distance dating a guy from her friend group for about a month, even though he'd expressed his attraction to her older sister repeatedly before they started dating.
When her sister entered a new relationship, the Original Poster (OP) was hurt and disgusted that her boyfriend insinuated that he could have been trying to "get with" her sister while he was instead busy dating her.
She asked the sub:
The OP was aware that her boyfriend had his eye on someone close to her before dating her.
"I (19 Female) am with M (21 Male), and we've been together for a month. We were friends before this, for a while."
"For some background, when we were in a friend group, he'd always talk about how my sister (23 Female) was super hot and how he wanted her, but she was in a relationship at the time."
When he found out that her sister had been in-between relationships, he had an unsavory reaction.
"Earlier today, I mentioned to him how my sister started seeing this new guy, and I was super proud of her, because she went through a lot with her last relationship."
"His immediate reply was, 'Dang,' one month too late' with a sad emoji, insinuating that he was one month too late to get with her, because we've been together for a month."
You can see the text message exchange here:
The OP was immediately turned off by the idea of dating him.
"After I got upset and he apologized, he immediately sent me a reel that said, 'When she's already upset about me, but I have a second joke in mind.'"
"I feel like he genuinely doesn't care about me."
"He has also gotten weirdly clingy within the month, like red-flag clingy."
"He keeps trying to say how he loves me, wants to marry me, and wants me to go live with him. But he also always brings up my exes and gets super jealous when HE mentions them."
"I don't know what to do. Should I block him??"
"He's mentioned before that I would need to block him on everything if we ever broke up because he'd never leave me alone (we are currently long-distance)."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some were grossed out by the boyfriend's text message and understood why the OP was upset.
"The fact that he wrote all that out and even added a little emoji at the end and still decided to send it, knowing it would be hurtful for you."
"Seems like he’s texted that to see if he could get away with it. Either way, you don’t say something like that to someone you care about…" - Oven_Traditional
"NOR. Ew! That’s so disrespectful coming from someone who should be thrilled to have you."
"I’m team 'dump him.' If he has a brother, maybe ask for his brother’s number as you end it just to see how he likes it." - Entire-Tonight-1463
"NOR. He's not joking about your sister. Based on what he's said about her in the past, it would have been a wise move to NOT date him at all. PERIOD."
'There's a possibility that he's clingy/close to you for the purpose of indirectly keeping an eye on your sister. Release him and let him go, thereby setting yourself free from foolishness." - AtlJazzy2024
"He’s not for you… Break up with him and block him. You deserve a guy who treasures YOU!" - Muted-Lynx-8745
"He might be your boyfriend, but you're not his girlfriend. In his mind, your sister is." - Save-your-spoons
Others urged the OP to block her boyfriend and move on.
"Girl, it's been a month. Let that loser go." - sleepymelfho
"He kept OP as a backup, while circling her sister's orbit. What has happened to transparency and honesty in relationships? All I read now is obnoxious men doing obnoxious things to their partners."
"OP, he's keeping you around to stay close to your sister. You deserve better... NOR." - ColdHandGee
"NOR. You know that he's not joking about wanting your sister. He told on himself before you even got together, talking about how hot she was. Believe him."
"Break up with him and cut him off immediately. I can't believe you ever agreed to date him in the first place. I'd never want to date someone who had the hots for someone else in my immediate circle, whether that was a sibling or a friend." - Lanky_Mud_8148
"You’ve been dating one month, and that’s one month too long."
"He’s not joking about your sister. He fancies her more than you, and you’re the consolation prize. He will pursue her given the chance."
"Time to dump him." - Special_Wind_6708
"NOR. He can't have your sister, so you're just the next best thing. Him being a clingy weirdo that 'will never leave you alone' is the cherry on top."
"You know what to do. Dump him and block him on everything. If anyone from the friend group asks, just tell them what you told us. And you REALLY should warn your sister; you have receipts." - sdoM-bmuD
"Ditch him. Honestly. What are you waiting for?" - forget_me_not_uwu
"NOR at all. Cut this loser out of all channels of your life."
"I wouldn’t block, though. Just ghost so that he can watch you become happier without him as the ultimate revenge because I’m petty like that, and he clearly deserves it."
"ALSO, if he's as creepy and clingy as he sounds, you can have him muted, so he can see your activity, but you won't have to see his... But you'd have all of his messages as receipts if he ever became threatening or stalkerish for police purposes."
"For more context: My mum started dating my dad (when she was 19, too), who initially tried to go for her older sister (two years older) and got rejected."
"After three years of dating, seven years of engagement, and 20 years of marriage where she put up with an incompetent man-child that wouldn’t do anything for himself and expected her to completely cater to him while he berated her and treated her like s**t..."
"...it ended in him cheating on her with a waitress for over a year and denying it until my mum had literal photographic evidence, to which he had the audacity to respond with the reasoning that she was the reason he was 'driven to cheat' (as if that was even remotely close to the truth and the only option to solve his ‘problems’)."
"Save yourself, girl. This man-child can learn to pine over you and your sister from afar as you both skip into the sunset together, moving on with your lives and into better relationships that fulfill you the way you deserve!" - peachycritter
Some cautioned the OP to also cover her tracks after the breakup, as he sounded worse than "clingy" to them.
"The actual scary part isn't even the sister joke; it's, 'he said he'd never leave me alone if we broke up,' only one month in."
"That line gave me chills, and that alone would have me Googling how to block someone on every platform that exists." - babydoodle91
"Ew. These super clingy guys right out the gate are scary. Please watch your step, and erase your tracks." - Immabirb
"He sounds like a stalker... Drop him now, fast. And block him everywhere." - Admirable_Program720
"NOR, yes, you block him, and you keep him out of your life, and you tell mutual friends that if they try to facilitate contact between you two, you will block them as well. He isn't joking." - JustAsICanBeSoCruel
"I watch way too much crime for this!"
"Girl, block him. Also tell your sister to block him, too; he’s obsessed with her." - MrsRoronoaZoro
"NOR. You're underreacting, honestly."
"He wants your sister, but you're close enough. He's obsessed with her and won't give it up even though he has someone he 'wants to marry.'"
"Also, he's not lying. He probably will stalk you online afterwards; please be careful." - Phoenix-Phire-38
"NOR at all. Your post kept adding on more red flags with each additional sentence. I know you’re young, but he’s toxic, and yes, you will need to block him."
"Breaking up with someone you have strong feelings for is really difficult, so when you leave, you should make sure to lean on friends and family and keep yourself distracted with things you like and find engaging." - query_tech_sec
"The s**t with your sister is nothing compared to the love-bombing and jealousy. This guy is trouble, and scary, and you will have done the right thing when you leave him and maintain the distance between the two of you. NOR." - potatomeeple
After receiving feedback, the OP posted an update, but it seemed to be only the beginning.
"Thank you for making me feel less crazy."
"I blocked him on everything and deactivated my Instagram."
"He DM'ed a girl that I had posted ONCE on my Instagram Stories, asking about me."
"I'm not sure if he's going to keep trying to talk to me, but I hope not."
The subReddit's internal alarm bells were ringing while reading the OP's post, and they hoped that she'd leave her boyfriend in every sense of the word. They already lived long-distance, but she needed to cut him off in every other sense.
Not only was it obvious that he wanted someone else and was with the OP to "make up for it," but his "promises" of not leaving her alone if she ever broke up with him were love-bombing and stalker-like, at best.