Most of us have had to plan at least one event in our lives, so we understand how important the guest list is.
This may be especially true for a trip when everyone needs to plan and chip in their payment ahead of time.
Because what happens if someone gets invited at the last minute, questioned the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Humnjukebox found herself in a tough spot when her sister wanted to bring an additional person to the bachelorette party, but free of charge.
When she saw her sister’s reaction, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was being petty.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for telling my sister she cannot bring a random person on my bachelorette trip?”
The OP made arrangements for her bachelorette trip with her wedding party.
“My sister and maid of honor (22 [Female]) helped plan my (25 [Female]) bachelorette trip that is coming up soon.”
“We will be traveling about 8 hours away, so my bridesmaids and I are leaving pretty early in the morning.”
The OP’s sister messed up the plans.
“My sister recently started a new job and will not be able to get off in time to ride with us.”
“Instead of buying a one-way plane ticket (which is cheaper than the gas to get there) and riding back with us, my sister wants to drive up with her friend.”
“Not only does she expect this person to come for free (as my bridesmaids have already generously split and paid for the trip), but I have only met this girl once.”
“AITA for not wanting my sister’s friend to come just so she doesn’t have to drive alone or fly to meet us?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP had every right to control who came to her party.
“NTA. Bachelorette parties are typically made up of those who are closest friends of the bride. Having a stranger there changes the whole group dynamic. Sis can take a bus, fly or rent a car, but she shouldn’t be inviting her friend to your party, on your bridesmaids’ dime” – Seeker131313
“if the sister DOES know everyone, then the friend ends up sitting there like a bump on a log because now the sister will be off and talking to everyone and seeing to details, as the co-host. I had that happen to me more than once.” – BlueBirdOcean
“Yeah she’s 22, she is MORE than old enough to fly or drive by herself! Poor op, defo NTA.” – Bob10294759
“NTA. I think it’s important to add that if you DO let your sister do this, you’d be the AH to your bridesmaids by having them pay for this stranger to have a free trip. If you have a guilty conscious (like me), then remind yourself that you’re standing up for your friends and it’s not just about you (although it’s your bachelorette party so this is the BEST time for it to be all about you!!).” – rachellethebelle
Others wondered how much trouble it would be to let the friend come.
“Eh, I let my MOH invite two of her friends because I moved across the country after college and she knew no one- I had 13 guests and she had only met one of them (ended up at 15 with her two friends).”
“Her friends didn’t stay with us at the house, but they came to the events and I know it made my MOH feel so much more comfortable. The more the merrier! And they were lovely girls, which I knew they would be because I love and trust my MOH.”
“I’m not saying OP doesn’t have the right to say no, but it’s not shitty of her sister to want to have a friend around. Bachelorette parties are not that fun if you know no one, especially if you’re introverted.” – cmc
“Questions. Is anyone else going friends with your sister. She is the maid of honor and there as family but does she know anyone outside you. Not sure about financials and what hotel expenses new girl may add. But sis might have just been trying to bring someone so she didnt feel left out with your friends. But hey your the bride so really its up to you and your sis should understand that.” – Whimmy_wham__wozzle
“NAH. I would allow it if your sister vouches for thr friend because that is a very inconvenient trip for someone to take alone. Would you rather not have your sis there or have someone you don’t really know?” – jittery_raccoon
“NAH. You’re not the asshole for not wanting her friend there, but she’s also not the asshole for wanting a friend on the 8-hr drive with her. If you want her there, you have to make some concessions.”
“I agree the sister or her friend should pay for their spot. That would be a good compromise.” – EarthWyndFyre
Some were miffed by the possibility of someone attending for free.
“NTA it’s YOUR Bachelorette party and you decide who goes. Also yeah its pretty shitty that your sister expects this friend to come for free” – LazySkips
“NTA, you don’t know her, and going on that trip is suppose to be an honor, not ‘let your sister bring random friends’ that’s going to annoy the others on the trip. Tell her you and the others aren’t paying for the trip and her friend won’t join in the fun” – A-Person1934
“NTA- um that’s a big no. That’s a time for friends/family you’ve known for years to kick back and share memories. You’re sisters just trying to get the friend a free trip, totally not cool. OR tell this friend she has to pay $$ for her share bet that will have her change it up.” – shadow-foxe
“NTA.”
“It is your bachelorette party for you and your friends to celebrate. Not for your sister’s friend to hitch a free vacation. She can drive with your sister, but I wouldn’t let her participate in any activities with the party. She wasn’t invited, and she shouldn’t be upset about that as you’ve only barely met.” – frogallie
The bride had some mixed feelings about how to handle this situation, and the subReddit could see why. Some said it was distasteful for an additional person to come, especially for free, but others understood that the sister might want company on the drive out.
One thing is for certain, no matter what decision the bride makes, it will change the dynamics of the party: the maid of honor potentially won’t be there without a companion, or otherwise, there’s an extra person crashing the wedding party.