Walking down the aisle on your wedding day is a special, traditionally, once in a lifetime moment. The idea of walking your children down the aisle can be a moment parents dream of. When tragedy strikes a parent can feel robbed of these special moments.
Redditor Confident_Salad4512 turned to the “Am I the A**hole” subReddit for perspective on her response to her stepfathers emotional request.
“AITA for telling my mom’s husband he needs therapy when he tried to guilt me into letting him walk me down the aisle?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“My mom married her husband James three years ago. I (25f) was not living with my mom at the time nor were we in the same state. So I haven’t really interacted with him a lot. I got engaged during lockdown last year.”
”We are planning to get married when everything is safe again. I asked my mom if she would walk with me. She said yes. Everything was good.”
”Then James approached me about two months ago saying he would like to walk me down the aisle. That he knows he can’t replace my dad but he loves me and my mom and would love to fill the father of the bride role so I can have someone in it.”
”I told him my mom was filling the parent of the bride role. And that made me happy. He pushed a little, told me it made more sense for him to do it. I said no.”
”My mom told me he had just wanted to make the suggestion because he felt maybe I would prefer it. I didn’t want to fight so I left it alone. Then he came to me again.”
”He talked about how he lost both his girls (his wife and daughters died almost twenty years ago) and how much it would mean for him to be accepted into that role and would give him the chance to do that with another daughter.”
”He told me even if I don’t want it, would I do that for him, so he would have some healing and a chance to be in the role with someone. I said no again and he told me I must be very cold, to know what it’s like to lose a father, to do that to someone who lost both his children and is reaching out and offering to do it for you.”
”I told him maybe he needs therapy if it’s so hard and he’s so caught up in the loss of them that he can’t see me as my own person and as someone who would want my remaining parent walk with me and fill that role.”
“He was offended I would make that suggestion. My mom bent over apologizing after she heard what happened. I guess she hadn’t known the whole thing from before. He’s still I wanna say salty but he’s still offended and thinks I overstepped.”
“Did I? AITA? And before anyone asks, my fiancée and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, he is not contributing to anything.”