The feeding of baby mammals is biologically designed to be done from the mother’s body. Humans are no exception.
While people in some societies have sexualized human mammary tissue, it’s intended purpose is still feeding babies. But because of the social stigma given to breasts, breastfeeding itself came under attack leading to entire generations being bottle fed from birth with commercially produced formula or non-human milk.
Today, the feeding of an infant is mostly based on whatever works best for the baby. Some parents are unable to breastfeed and some babies can’t ingest milk of any kind.
But double mastectomies, a health condition or an inability to produce any or enough milk shouldn’t prohibit someone from having children. How long a child breastfeeds or uses a bottle is also different for every child.
Despite all of the education and awareness campaigns about breastfeeding, there are still some people who find it vulgar or disgusting.
A mother who was shamed for breastfeeding her 11-month-old baby turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Born_Archer_9113 asked:
“AITA For making a scene when my brother’s girlfriend tried to ‘protect her peace’?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“My son is eleven months old and 97th percentile for height. He is a big a** baby—currently 36 inches/3 feet tall or about the size of your average 2.5 year-old and in 3T clothing.”
“He was a really normal sized newborn! He just grew, like, concerningly fast.”
“He was 8lb 6oz so relatively normal at birth. My vagina is fine. My back from hauling this child around is not.”
“He grew like a weed around 2 months and completely skipped 6-9 month clothes. He was growing so fast he had to get blood tests done and everything.”
“His pediatrician did say he might grow a ton now and then slow down when he hits puberty and end up a somewhat normal height.”
“His dad is 6’7″ and I’m so not prepared for him to be taller than me by the time he’s like five. He’s already past my hip. I’m 5’1″ on a good day.”
“Despite him being so big, he is still just a baby—not even a year old yet— and most of his nutrition is still from breastmilk.”
“For July 4th we had a big family cookout and my brother invited his girlfriend. I live out of state and I didn’t want my flights to be too close together, so I’m staying for a bit longer.”
“My brother and his 19-year-old girlfriend are doing the same thing.”
“My family is aware that my son is a baby, obviously, but my brother’s girlfriend was not and was initially very shocked when she saw him ‘misbehaving’.”
“Behaving like a baby. Screaming, throwing food, slapping his hands against surfaces, putting things in his mouth.”
“He looks big so people assume these are inappropriate behaviours, but he’s developmentally on par for an 11-month-old.”
“We explained that he’s still a baby, so he’s still just exploring the world.”
“She remained uncomfortable, but we mostly avoided each other.”
“Because he’s so big, feeding him is a chore so I use an armchair as there isn’t enough support elsewhere and so there isn’t much I can do about covering up. He also gets sweaty under blankets and won’t eat.”
“It’s been a tense couple of weeks. Last night I think we both kind of lost it.”
“My son needed feeding and she was in the chair. I asked her to move which she whined about, but did get up.”
“Everything was fine for another hour or so until she demanded my brother pay for her to go to a hotel for the remaining nights because she can’t cope with me and the baby.”
“He asked what she meant and she said that he’s clearly big enough to be on real food and I enjoy making her uncomfortable by feeding him in front of her.”
“I got embarrassingly upset and told her that she should keep her mouth shut because she clearly doesn’t know the first thing about parenting and certainly doesn’t know anything about me or my son.”
“We argued the same points for a little more until my son woke from his nap and I left to collect him. She then left after telling us all, loudly, that she needs to ‘protect her peace’—which is honestly not a phrase I thought real people said.”
“My brother told me I was being immature and left with her. My dad is on ‘my side’, but did tell me I should have removed myself from the situation as I’m a grown woman and she’s still a teenager.”
“At 22-years-old, I’m only three years older than her, so I think that’s BS.”
“My mom is neutral, but is still trying to convince my brother to come home and ended up paying for their hotel. She thinks I could have been a lot more understanding.”
“AITA? Was I completely out of order?”
The OP summed up their situation.
“I lost my sh*t at my brother’s girlfriend because she was uncomfortable in a situation that is understandably uncomfortable.”
“Although she went about it the wrong way, I don’t think she was trying to be hostile and instead of talking to her I just argued.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“Her peace is disrupted by a baby needing to be fed? How sad for her.”
“If she’s so shocked that babies can come in different shapes and sizes, she’s gonna lose her mind when she finds out they come in different colors too. NTA.” ~ Remote-Passenger7880
“OP is NTA, of course—breastfeeding and weaning are personal, and if you’re not involved, you can just leave the room without throwing a fit that you need a full-on hotel!” ~ Stormtomcat
“I’d find it odd as well based on the baby’s size, but humans—at least those with brains—come with a mouth and that’s bloody useful to ask questions and keep doubts and uncomfortable feelings away from us.”
“Huge NTA for OP. The brother’s girlfriend didn’t even try to ask why such a big a** baby was still being breastfed, and if she did, she’s even more of an a**hole.”
“You don’t like what you see? Get the f*ck out of the room. It’s that simple.” ~ Emotional-Sorbet-759
“I’m going to go with NTA. It sounds like it’s a her issue if she was the only one who made any fuss about it.”
“Is she still an actual teen or someone who is a bit self centered, or sheltered?”
“She’s weird and shoulda just sucked it up. Not sure if she’s unaware that above average babies can happen.” ~ Jolly-Discipline-503
“In most countries in Europe, no one cares where you breastfeed, even if it’s in a public place in the middle of the day.”
“It’s a natural thing which needs to be done, women shouldn’t very well have to try to find some secluded place every single time they need to breastfeed.”
“At most, and especially for the shyer women, just cover your breast and your baby’s head with a thin sheet which you could keep in the baby’s bag.”
“It’s not exactly indecent exposure. The women aren’t doing it for fun, or because they are exhibitionists, they are doing it because their child needs to be fed, and in two or three hours it’ll happen again.” ~ Arrenega
“What’s there to be malicious about when it comes to breastfeeding your child in front of others?”
“If the girlfriend is weird about it, that’s a her problem. NTA.” ~ Hungry-Painter-3164
“I think the real problem is why your family isn’t fully supporting you. And how would your mom feel, as she has been a mother who probably has breastfed, if someone spoke to her that way?”
“There is no reason why anyone should oppose your side, you’ve done nothing wrong and were shamed for properly caring for your child. And your family won’t call her out on it.”
“Their hotel was paid for, and your mom is asking them to come back. Anyway. I’m sorry. I hope your family gains its sanity back.” ~ explicitlinguini
“This is the real problem. Why are they even considering the girl their son is f*cking over their own daughter feeding their grandchild?”
“In two years no one will remember her dumb a**. I’d be so pissed they picked her over their grandkid.” ~ Kaiisim
“I don’t get this at all. If girlfriend is uncomfortable, what stops her from removing herself?”
“Is she shackled to her chair or something? Non ambulatory? She’s grossly out of line.” ~ Boeing367-80
“NTA. She’s nineteen, but she’s more on the dimwitted side, and not because she’s a teen. This girl found out your son is an 11-month-old baby, and she still wanted a baby to be treated as if he were a 2 or a 3 yr old toddler.”
“Her expectations of him were in accord with his size, not his current age. It’s normal to confuse a giant baby with a toddler, but it is not normal to demand that a giant baby be treated and fed and made to behave like a toddler.”
“That your family wants to accommodate this girl’s ridiculous demands and put her childish wants over the needs of a baby is outrageous. And she has the audacity to talk about ‘protecting her peace’?”
“What kind of nonsense is she talking about? Feeding a baby makes her uncomfortable?”
“Nah, whatever is wrong with her, it better stay with her.”
“As for your parents, there should be no contest: your baby’s needs and well-being trumps some irrational teen girl’s rants.”
“Remind your family that a 19-year-old wants a baby—their grandson—to be treated as if he were a three-year-old because she thinks her comfort about him being breastfed is more important than doctor’s guidelines for a baby—bottle or breast until at least a year-old.” ~ dystopianpirate
Hopefully OP and her baby’s peace were also considered.
Even if her family doesn’t support her or their own grandson/nephew, plenty of internet strangers do.