Family, “naughty” jobs, and religion.
What a mix!
In this day and age, people need to make money in any way they can get it.
And many jobs that were once frowned upon are financial windfalls.
So why judge anyone anymore?
Case in point…
Redditor Weird-Marzipan-7739 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for refusing to financially help my estranged twin?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (30 F[female]) am estranged from my twin (also 30 F) because she objects to my working as a camgirl.”
“And even though I have never done anything inappropriate (I’m very unassuming; I look like a girl next door, so people won’t know unless I tell them) around her kids (12 M[ale], 9 F, 5 M) because of my job, citing I’d be a ‘bad influence.'”
“Even though I would’ve completely kept my mouth shut about my job.”
“It hurt that I was denied a relationship with my siblings, but there was nothing I could do.”
“Anyway, she’s a single mom. The youngest has cancer.”
“His father is not in the picture. Although he pays child support, it’s very little because he doesn’t make much.”
“And the bills have gone through the roof.”
“Now her landlord is threatening to begin the eviction process as she’s very behind on her rent and other bills.”
“She contacted me after not speaking to me for years and begged me to borrow money.”
“I said, ‘You do realize this money would come from my camming job, right? The one you estranged with me over and wouldn’t let me have a relationship with your kids?'”
“She said, ‘I know, and I don’t need this right now. I’m desperate and need help. He’s your nephew!'”
“Our parents are living on social security and cannot afford to help financially, but they do babysit the two older ones frequently.”
“My husband and I do well financially, so we could afford it.”
“I told her ‘You disowned me as your sister, and since you’re not my sister, he can’t be my nephew. Disowning your family is a permanent decision, and I wouldn’t want you having money from a sinful source as you put it.'”
The OP was left to wonder.
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. She’s only come to you because she’s desperate. I doubt she’d maintain the relationship once she’s got your money.”
“I feel sorry for your nephew, but as you say, he’s basically a stranger as his mother hasn’t let you form a relationship because you’re a sinful person.”
“Perhaps the local church can help her with money?”
“She’s obviously big on sin and morality.” ~ Opposite-Guide-9925
“Exactly… if her son weren’t sick, you still wouldn’t be hearing from her.”
“You aren’t a money tap.”
“Let your parents get a loan.”
“Sad to hear nephew is sick, but it’s not your issue.” ~ Intelligent_Tell_841
“And once she’s done with OP’s money, she will likely ghost.”
“There is no borrow.”
“It will not be paid back.”
“Something about ‘family’ and her god looking down on money lending, so it was a gift, not a loan.”
“OP is NTA.”
“There is no relationship here, no trust, no confidence.”
“If OP got a lawyer to draw up a legal and enforceable loan contract, I bet sis wouldn’t sign it.”
“OP could try that if unsure about her AH status, to see if sis is ‘borrowing’ in good faith.”
“But, honestly, the advice of sending her to her church is the best.” ~ supergamernerd
“Assuming that OP is in the US…”
“There’s totally a hospital that covers cancer treatment for kids, and putting the parents up while they’re being treated, and I think a variety of other things while the kids are undergoing treatment.”
“I totally say NTA, but I also say that being like, ‘I don’t want to give you too much money, but here’s (x solution) that might work.'”
“And then like, maybe cover a month of rent paid directly to the landlord if it’s doable.” ~ cns369
“I’m a social worker at a children’s hospital in one of the poorest states in America.”
“I’ve never seen a parent who had to pay for their child’s cancer treatment.”
“There’s a Medicaid program called Disabled Child Living at Home that children with extreme medical conditions are eligible for.”
“The whole idea behind it is to prevent tons of parents from losing/giving up custody of their disabled/sick children just because they can’t afford the care.”
“Now, I only work in-patient, so I’m getting involved with cases where these kids are getting bone marrow transplants and/or months of inpatient chemotherapy.”
“More minor forms of cancer that have less costly outpatient treatments may not make a child eligible.”
“But yes, there are options- OP’s sister needs to talk to a social worker.” ~ Megatentrue
“If it were anyone OP chooses to pay direct, I would say pay the hospital over anything else!”
“That way, you know the money is being used only to treat the young boy and for nothing else.”
“But even that is totally up to OP and definitely NTA for saying no.”
“Funny how people are able to relax their ‘moral code’ when they need something!”
“I do feel bad for the young boy, of course, as he is innocent in all this, but the sister made her own judgmental bed.” ~ Existing-Drummer-326
“NTA. I get your point and understand where you are coming from.”
“If you do decide you want to help your nephew, then any and all financial help needs to go directly to those who need to be paid.”
“None of the money should go through your sister’s righteous hands.” ~ MonkeyWrench
“NTA, but if you do decide to pay anyway because the kid is innocent here, pay DIRECTLY to the hospital or landlord, because yeah.”
“Send her a card letter that tells her that ‘this payment was done using funds from my doings, do not ever contact me again.'” ~ RemoteBroccoli
OP came back with an update.
“Thanks, everyone for the feedback.”
“We are fraternal twins, not identical.”
“While we bear some resemblance (much like how someone resembles an aunt/uncle, cousin, parents, or sibling who’s not a twin) to each other, we are very easily able to be told apart from one another.”
“After careful thought and consideration, I have decided to pay the medical bills and rent as a gift with no expectation of repayment (directly to the hospital and landlord).”
“BUT because I do have a petty side (just being honest) and didn’t want my sister getting away with her behavior, I made a post on her church’s Facebook group.”
“And I attached screenshots of texts disowning me years ago (I saved them) because of my work; and screenshots of her wanting money from my work now that she’s in this situation.”
“I said…”
“Hi everyone: I am (hypocrite’s) former sister (she disowned me).”
“You may or may not have heard about me.”
“I was exiled from my sister’s and her kid’s lives for being a camgirl despite never having breathed a word about my work around her kids nor behaved inappropriately in any way.”
“After careful thought and consideration due to the way I’ve been treated and how my sister feels about my ‘sinful’ money but then wanting to borrow it for her son’s health bills and rent, I’ve decided to give it as a gift without any expectation of repayment.”
“Even a wicked woman like myself did not wish to see an innocent child suffer when I could do something to help.”
“But being that my sister is so repulsed by where my money comes from, I’m giving you all the opportunity to save her from having to use ‘dirty money.'”
“You may D[irect] M[essage] me for my cash app, Venmo, or Zelle information to repay the bills I gifted.”
“While I am not expecting this to happen as I can afford what I gave, I just think you should all have the opportunity to put your money where your mouths are.”
“And to perhaps be welcoming to those in the adult industry in your church (and no, not making it conditional upon them quitting).”
“You sin just as they do; their ‘sins’ are just more visible.”
“Without my job, the financial assistance would not have been possible as I assume I was her last resort as none of you ‘righteous’ folks were in a position to help.”
“That being said, I guess someone had to volunteer to ‘sin,’ and that volunteer was me.”
“Without ner do wells like myself, your righteousness would not be sustainable, as the undesirables are doing the dirty work for you so you don’t have to.”
“Jesus was kind to sex workers; he welcomed them with open arms unconditionally and preferred their and others considered ‘undesirable a’ company to the pious/righteous religious folks and leaders.”
“He even told a priest that prostitutes would go to heaven ahead of him (using a biblical quote that one of the commenters here recommended, thank you) check out Matthew 21:31, your church likely did not teach you about that quote; and now you know.”
“You’re Welcome.”
“Sincerely,”
“The loose wayward woman.”
“Whoever runs the Facebook page took down my post and blocked me from posting (although I can still see the page, so it’s just a ban from posting), no one had the balls to say anything to my face.”
“Hypocrites, I’m sure Jesus is really impressed.”
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
You and your husband are good people.
You did something you didn’t have to do for your family, even without close ties.
Hopefully, this makes a difference for your nephew.
Good luck.