Parent Called Out For Telling Daughter To Hide Snacks From Stepbrother Who Eats Them All

Shopping for family groceries can get complicated when some people are picky and others will eat anything—and eat everything.

But does one family member's gluttony justify food hoarding by others?

A parent and stepparent dealing with feeding two teens turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback.

Iknowyoureabot asked:

"AITA for buying my daughter a bag of chips?"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"I'm a parent in a blended family that has moved into my (slightly too small for us all) house last year. There is of course friction, and I'm not always perfect, but this one has me second guessing myself."

"My daughter has a specific type of potato chip she likes. She's picky, it's annoying, but really that's probably irrelevent."

"Anyhow, a few months ago I went to the grocery store, and among several other bags of chips, I bought a family sized bag of those."

"Her stepbrother ate it in one sitting that night."

"He's a teenage boy. He's not fat. I don't really have a major problem with that."

"Have you ever met an athletic 17-year-old boy? They need like 6000 calories a day to survive."

"But then my daughter had nothing she liked while he proceeded to devour another type of chip the next day."

"Annoying, but no big deal. Next week, I got 2 bags of those chips. Well, then the 2 bags were gone in 2 days."

"Third week, I got 2 bags and told my daughter to keep one in her room."

"This has pretty much been the state of affairs ever since. Well, my spouse found out my daughter was keeping special food in her room, and I said 'yeah, I told her to' and she got really really mad at me."

"She said that I was treating her kids as lesser and that I wasn't making this their home too, and a bunch of other things."

"I honestly try to see her viewpoint, but I just don't here. I didn't tell the boy to stay out of my daughter's stuff, or take it away from him."

"I tried to sidestep the friction altogether. I didn't take anything away, I just bought twice as much and let her keep half as her own."

"I feel like the only other options are to either put $70 of potato chips into my weekly budget, or to tell my daughter to deal with having nothing. Both those options suck."

"I honestly feel like a doormat a lot of the time. Like I'm shooting myself in the foot by trying to keep peace, only instead I am lowering the bar for what is acceptable."

"On the flip side, people have been telling me for years I suck at understanding other's feelings....so..."

"AITA?"

The OP summed up their situation.

"I gave my daughter her own bag of chips to keep in her room, supposedly alienating the rest of the family by treating my daughter better."

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).

"I'm 61, female, and have 2 adult children and I would have done the same thing. Teenaged boys eat anything that is not nailed down."

"If your daughter has one brand of favorite food (doesn't matter if chips or chocolate), she should be entitled to have some. You buy 2 bags, one for each kid, but she keeps hers in her room to savor over a few days, and the 2nd bag is vacuumed up by the boy in one day."

"Does she have other kids? They should be allowed snacks too."

"Note that hubby & I took in our teenaged niece & nephew and made sure they all had food they all liked, whether they were our 2 kids or the 2 new kids. You're NTA." ~ HorseygirlWH

"Also on the flip side of that, my sister REFUSED to believe her son devoured food at the rapid pace we told her. Dude scarfed down food by the pound and it increased when he played sports."

"She knew he ate a lot, but it wasn't until he ate an entire pan of lasagna. He was 14 at the time."

"His mom said, 'help yourself, we are out and will probably grab food'. In his mind, that meant 'eat everything'."

"My sister was pissed BUT finally understood what we were dealing with." ~ Reddit

"Kids need house rules. Rules about food, bathroom time, basic respect. No one gets to eat all of a snack food that was bought for the 'family'. So that should have been nipped in the bud. If there is a special request, that needs to be respected."

"Even in houses where it's all bio siblings, respect has to be taught and expectations clear. My kids had preferences of cereal, treats, leftovers, etc... And while no one should have to hide food, it's not a big deal to set aside something that is specifically for one person."

"Teenage boys don't get to use that as an excuse for eating the expensive or coveted snack food. They can make a sandwich or have a apple." ~ hopingtothrive

"This is what OP's response to the wife should have been. The problem isn't the daughter keeping food in her room, it's her son acting like he's the king of the house and can eat whatever he wants without any consideration towards the rest of the family. Teach the kid some damn manners." ~ Revo63

"Yeah no you're fine. If anything you're a pushover for not punishing him eating her chips and the fact your spouse only sees your child keeping her chips in her room as 'favoritism' is batsh*t crazy."

"I'd definitely suggest having the conversation of like 'hey, so they're the only chips she wants/will eat and he keeps eating them all before she gets any, so she keeps some in her room'." ~ Different_Ad5087

"NTA. My bio brother would eat ANYTHING as a teenager. Our parents started off by having us label leftovers or special things to try to keep the peace. He ate those too."

"So some things I kept hidden in my room. He only stopped eating everything (even 1/2 lb blocks of cheese in one sitting) when they started using his 'allowance' to buy replacement food."

"This continued further when he got his first job and our mother took him to the grocery store and had him buy what he would eat in a week. It shocked him that his whole paycheck would not cover it."

"He was much more respectful after that."

"Yes, teenage boys eat lots, but the son is not being fair to the rest of the family by eating anything he wants."

"You bought a bag for him, one for her. They both chose how and when to eat their own bags." ~ blueyedwineaux

"You know, what your mother did was outside the whole idea of what a box even is thinking. I'm positive that a lot of parents have never even thought to do that, or thought it was being too cruel."

"Once the child who eats everything has to feel the burden of just how much it leaves the rest of the family without, and the in your face strain of how much it costs each time, maybe they will start to eat their fair share."

"My parents told my brothers and I after getting jobs, we wouldn't have to buy our own food from now on, but if we wanted sweets, drinks, and things that we specifically wanted, that was our responsibility."

"My son will be 15 this month. He is almost 6' and yes he is on the chubby side, part eating everything, and part still growing. I can't tell you how many times I will go without to make sure my 2 girls have something to eat, but we barely make it month to month."

"And I'm talking he will eat the food just bought, leftovers, cook the frozen stuff, and my husband and I are at our wits end trying to find a proper solution." ~ Fluffbutt_Pineapple

"NTA. I think its inappropriate your partner finds it acceptable that her son monopolizes the chips and devours the whole thing himself without leaving a respectable amount for anyone else. That kinda sounds like favouritism to me." ~ prairie_harlet

"NTA. I have two boys and one is under weight and just doesn't eat much in one sitting, the other is like your stepson, will inhale a whole family bag of chips in one sitting."

"We had to set aside food for the younger one or he would never get any snacks or treats before the older one eats it all."

"If your spouse has a problem with making sure that your daughter has a snack she likes then your spouse needs to get her son to quit eating them all or come up with a better solution." ~ Clevernickname1001

"Teenage boys can eat anything but it's ok to tell them to slow it down. Just because they can, doesn't mean they should. They should think of others."

"NTA for trying to solve this problem without drama." ~ findthecircle

"NTA, growing up with two brothers, any food that is specifically for me is immediately kept in my room (unless it needs to go in the fridge/freezer)."

"You tried to do more by making sure there'd be enough for everyone and that hasn't worked out. It's not like you've told him he can't have the chips." ~ Ok-Advantage3180

It doesn't seem like much communication is happening.

Maybe before going to creative solutions, the family could have a discussion about food, snacks, and sharing.