Today, public healthcare is paramount.
Post Covid, everyone seems on edge around people who cough and sneeze.
Commuting in New York City can feel like an obstacle course when it comes to avoiding disease.
No one wants to go to the hospital if they can avoid it.
That is why some people don't appreciate being blatantly coughed on.
Redditor u/Professional-Pea6803 found herself in a dilemma regarding a stranger's personal health care concerns, so she turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback.
Like AITA, the AITAH subreddit lets posters ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
She asked:
"AITAH for coughing in an old woman's face?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"So the title sounds super wrong, but please hear me out."
"I (31 F[eamle]) was in line for a popular sub chain and behind me was a woman in her eighties or so. "
"I wasn't really paying attention to her until I heard her cough and felt spit land on my neck. "
"My hair was up in a high bun because I am a dog groomer, and I keep my hair up to avoid getting it snagged in the nail grinder when I do dogs' nails."
"I wiped the back of my neck, and sure enough, it was a bit wet with spit from this lady coughing."
"I thought it was a one-time thing, no big deal."
"Then she coughs again, and more spit hits the back of my neck, and I think, 'Did she really just do that again?'"
"I turn around and politely ask this woman, who's older than the sunrise, to cover her mouth when she coughs because it's the polite thing to do, and turn back around feeling quite annoyed."
"Lo and behold, she coughs again, and it was a loud, hacking cough sound, and once again I feel spit hit the back of my neck."
"I turned around and said firmly, 'Cough on my neck again, and you'll regret it.'"
"I moved forward in line to be closer to the person in front of me and hoped this old-as* woman would have the decency to stop after being told twice to please cover her mouth."
"She coughed again, and I swear this time was so dramatic it couldn't have been an accident."
"I don't know what came over me, but I gathered as much saliva in my mouth without thinking and just turned around and coughed HARD directly into her face."
"My cough was forceful enough to make her take a step back and declare that I was 'extremely rude' and decide, I guess, to go to another establishment because she just flat-out walked out of the place."
"I'm not proud of what I did, but honestly, how many times can you ask someone not to cough on you?"
"I told my coworkers, my husband, and a few family members and friends."
"My husband and in-laws are on my side, but others have told me I'm TAH because older people can be immunocompromised, and she coughed on the back of my neck, whereas I coughed directly in her face. "
"They said I could have really gotten her sick and it'd be my fault if she did."
"In my honest opinion, she should have covered her mouth like a normal person."
"My nephew is three, and he does just fine covering his mouth."
The OP was left to wonder:
"Anyways am I the AH for coughing in her face?"
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - More Information Needed
Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here.
"NTAH!"
"I live with my 84-year-old mother."
"It sounds to me like the woman didn't like being called out, and it wasn't an accident after the first time."
"Some elderly people are entitled and MEAN." ~ DKat1990
"NTA."
"They said I could have really gotten her sick and it'd be my fault if she did."
"To anyone who says this, ask them, 'At what age do we stop being responsible for ourselves?''"
"Just because someone is old doesn't mean they get a pass to be a jerkface... like acting like older people are helpless pissed me off enough to call my grandma, and she wanted me to tell you..."
"My grandmother is 94."
"In the past 5 years, she has lost all of her friends, my grandpa (72+ years of marriage), and she lost both of her legs and is wheelchair bound... She's proud of you and thought it was hilarious."
"Her words to you are, 'If the old hag is terrified of being sick, personal space would solve her idiocy.'"
"She used a curse word instead of hag and had a few other curse words in it that I took out."
"And as someone who is immunocompromised as well, I thought it was hilarious too!"
"BUT I'm smart enough to understand that when I'm terrified of getting sick, I actually try and create a barrier of space around me rather than trying to share my germs." ~ Dull-Field2550
"NTA. You warned her."
"She didn’t listen."
"Doesn’t matter that she was old."
"She knew what she was doing."
"It’s an insult to the elderly to assume that they must automatically be too senile to know better."
"She clearly did, as she verbalized herself when she called you rude and stormed out."
"She knows what rudeness is and is therefore capable of getting back what she gave."
As a light germophobe, the thought of someone’s spit repeatedly being hacked onto my bare neck would have turned me into the Hulk. You could have screamed, cursed, or shoved her. One cough was pretty restrained, imho.
"Seems like she got a lesson she needed to learn."
"Hopefully she never spews her spittle on another innocent victim." ~ bananapineapplesauce
"NTA. She needed a taste of her own medicine."
"I don’t know what it is with old people, but it seems like some of them regress mentally, and they have the mental capacity of a toddler."
"So things like saying please and thank you, covering their mouth when sneezing and coughing, and washing their hands after using the restroom are just lost on them."
"I’ve had them cough in my ear while we’re standing in line or talking over my head because I’m short."
"It’s like they don’t realize how rude they’re being!" ~ UncleNedisDead
"NTA. It's precisely because of people like this woman that sub shops have to have those glass protectors as you put in your order."
"You tried to ignore her."
"You tried to use your words."
"What exactly was left, shy of leaving the place?"
"You shouldn't be punished because of her grossness." ~ SnarkySheep
"NTA! COVID obviously taught her nothing, and her parents never taught her manners."
"In public, you cover your cough."
"You could be the one immunocompromised, and she's coughing on you".
"As an immunocompromised person, I see nothing wrong with this, especially after she did it on purpose."
"What did she expect?" ~ softshoulder313
"NTA, and are you in Reno cause I swear you had my old landlady behind you in line."
"She used to refuse to cover her mouth, and she has a constant cough, which she claims is from allergies."
"It was so embarrassing to be out in public with her and have everyone look at her like, why won't you cover your damn mouth???"
"I can't handle people who can't exercise common sense and common courtesy." ~ goknightsgo09
"As an autoimmune-compromised 60-plus-year-old woman who has survived breast cancer, multiple surgeries, COVID (even with vaccines, and I will continue to get them until they're no longer necessary by anyone ever), currently on two biologics and methotrexate, I applaud your actions!"
"She deliberately kept coughing on you without covering her mouth, and the fact that your hand was wet when you brought it around to your own face means you were immediately exposed to any of the germs that she coughed on you!"
"Sometimes the only way to teach someone a lesson is to show them how wrong they are in continuing their actions!" ~ MamaBehr33
"NTA. For me, spit is disgusting, and I will involuntarily gag if I even think of getting spit on me."
"I would have thrown an absolute fit after the first time."
"That is so gross."
"Being old is not an excuse for disgusting behavior." ~ VariationArtistic106
"NTA- I work as reception in an Oncology office."
"Most of the immuno-suppressed or compromised people that I deal with daily understand that that is a two-way street."
"Also, someone who is compromised has already been warned by their specialist to wear a mask."
"She was clearly not wearing a mask and therefore is more of a complication than an immunity risk." ~ BedroomEducational94
"OP, while I do think your deciding actions were immature and just as gross as the woman coughing on you, you are NTA for being pissed off about it."
"For future reference, depending on local laws and the fact you asked her to cover her mouth multiple times, you could have called the police and then filed assault charges."
"Intentional coughing and/or spitting on someone is illegal." ~ Sexy_Smokin_Scorpio
Reddit is with you, OP.
You were outraged.
This woman clearly had no respect for you.
You acted out of emotion.
It happens.
