Sometimes, when it comes to personal injury, people can’t accept help from others.
Stress and shock can always play a factor in injury reactions.
Not everyone will see authentic help as help.
There is no perfect way to comfort the injured.
A partner on Reddit wondered about their reaction to their wife’s knife injury, so they turned to the “Am I The A**Hole” (AITAH) subreddit for feedback.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
Redditor Party-Witness7271 asked:
“AITAH for not showing more sympathy for my wife when she mangled her hand using a gift from her mother that I told her was dangerous?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My wife will never refuse a gift from her mom.”
“And once she accepts it, she will be sure to use it.”
“This has never been a problem before. “
“I don’t give a sh*t about how our front yard is infested with gnomes and other ceramic crap.”
“I don’t care that we have decorative spoons from around the world.”
“I do care that my M[other]-I[n]-L[aw] gave us a double-edged serrated bread knife.”
“I saw a new handle in our knife block, so I took it out to look at it.”
“It looked dangerous.”
“I tried cutting some sourdough with it and almost cut myself.”
“I told my wife it was dangerous and we should just put it away.”
“She insisted it was fine and left it. Whatever.”
“I went and told both our kids not to use it.”
“It took five days.”
“My wife was cutting a bagel with the wonder knife, and she cut the web between her thumb and forefinger.”
“Deep enough, she cut that big tendon too.”
“I heard her screaming and ran to help.”
“I wrapped her hand in a clean paper towel and then in a kitchen towel.”
“We only live a few blocks from a hospital, so I didn’t call 911.”
“I had our son drive us there while I kept her hand elevated and put pressure on it.”
“She has to have surgery on it.”
“I NEVER ONCE SAID I TOLD YOU SO!”
“I also, apparently, was not as sympathetic as I could have been.”
“I don’t know what else I could have done.”
“I held her hand the whole time.”
“At the hospital, I did all the talking while she got admitted.”
“I did not leave her side until we got home.”
“She said she could feel my judgment.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“I did throw the knife away, though.”
“Can anyone please explain what I did wrong?”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA ?”
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“I am a professional chef.”
“The number 2 stealer of finger tips is a serrated bread knife.”
“Number one is a mandolin.”
“I tell all my new servers when they are cutting bread: keep your thumb clear.'”
“The witch of knives comes stealing.” ~ boldpaperglasses
“Yeah, I took a slice off my thumb the first time using a mandolin.”
“It was a lesson to always use the frickin’ safety guide.”
“I loved my mandolin, but I had to learn the hard way to treat it with respect.”
“As for the bread knife, it’s mainly only an issue when I’ve thoughtlessly dropped it into soapy water.”
“Now it’s lurking unseen under the surface, like a shark, just waiting to slice up my fingers when I go searching for it.” ~ rebelkitty
“NTA. Sometimes, the looming ‘I told you so’ is worse than just saying the words and getting it out there, between you two.”
“She’s in a bad mood because…”
“1) Her hand hurts, probably a lot…”
“2) She knows she screwed up…”
“3) She now knows you’re right (if she didn’t before), and…”
“4) Is waiting for you to gloat and hit her with the ‘I told you so.'”
“Even if you never intend to do that, in her head, you probably already have.” ~ AmethysstFire
“How the hell are you guys using knives?!”
“I’ve accidentally cut myself with knives, but mostly nicks.”
“You don’t have a knife problem, you have a problem with not using knives correctly!” ~ Head_Bed1250
“I’m genuinely confused about this, myself.”
“I can’t imagine a double-edged bread knife being any more dangerous than a single-edged bread knife, and I wouldn’t consider either to be actually dangerous unless you’re doing weird sh*t with them.” ~ saraTbiggun
“The way you wrote this makes it seem like… You don’t actually like your wife very much.”
“You seem annoyed by her personality (ceramic crap, spoons you don’t give s hit about) and general demeanor.”
“I say mostly NTA, but if my husband was saying this sort of stuff about me with that tone – I’d feel judged in general, not just in that moment.” ~ whoaitsmarsh
“Oh man!”
“My mom did that exact same thing to her hand about 30 years ago.”
“The doctor who stitched her up said that specific cut in that specific area (regardless of how it occurs) is called a ‘Bagel Cut’ in the medical community.”
“In the 80’s/90’s, when bagels became more mainstream, this injury began showing up in Emergency Rooms all over the country in large enough numbers that the medical community gave it an unofficial name.”
“You’re NTA.”
“She’s not actually mad at you.”
“She’s really embarrassed (she probably had to explain how she injured herself multiple times, to multiple people while in the Emergency Department, each time causing further embarrassment).”
“So not only did she hurt herself in a way that could have been avoided, but an item her mom gave her was the instrument of injury.”
“She’s probably more angry at her mom, but you’re an easier target.” ~ coffeebugtravels
“I agree the knife sounds like a cut waiting to happen, but the specific way she was cut sounds like she would have done it with a normal knife, too.”
“Cutting that part of your hand while slicing a bagel means she was probably holding the bagel in a burger grip as she cut it instead of holding it flat on the counter and cutting sideways with her palm on top of it.” ~ Ebenizer_Splooge
“I honestly don’t think you did something wrong. But I guess, you kind of radiated the anger that your fear came true, it is something I know from myself, and it sometimes gets in the way.”
“My elderly Mom lives in a hoarding mess that is like Australia – it is hot, and everything tries to kill you.”
“Sometimes I think SHE is trying to kill herself by setting up all those death traps for herself – and as well for me.”
“When she falls and hurts herself, or she hurts herself and doesn’t tell me, doesn’t want a doctor, and after weeks complaining, I finally just make an appointment without telling her, and something turns out to be broken, I feel anger.”
“It is not pointed towards her, but about her, but after all, I can’t fully hide it.”
“I also don’t say ‘TOLD YOU SO,’ but this anger about ‘I‘ve seen this coming, and it was unnecessary ‘will still shine through.”
“By the way, when I visit my Mom for a few days, there is also such a knife, I hate it, and it has already tried to kill me.”
“And I remember it well from my childhood, we have a bloody history, the knife and me.”
“I will take your story as a reason to finally throw it away; it’s the best decision. 🙂.” ~ PlumOne2856
“Sounds like your whole household should take a course on basic knife skills if everyone’s cutting themselves on a bread knife… lol.”
“I get it’s got 2 sharp sides, but there’s no scenario where your hand should be under the blade or pressing down on the back of a bread knife blade anyways if you’re using it properly, so there’s something more going on here than it being 100% the fault of a knife.” ~ Bear_Caulk
“As a daughter who receives bizarre gifts from her mother, I can relate.”
“I will never use the felted pixie hat with a scarf attached or wear the jewellery she buys me because it’s for children, but I keep them as they are physical representations of her love for me.”
“Be kind.”
“Be patient.”
“She hurt herself with something her mother gave her; she’s suffering enough.” ~ AntidotesAll
“NTA – she knows she was wrong and doesn’t want to admit that you were right.”
“You did everything you should have.”
“Sometimes, people have to learn the hard way.”
“Painful lesson.” ~ Primary-Delivery737
“I’ve seen people have a much harder time ‘forgiving’ those who protected them (or tried to) than those who actively hurt them.”
“On top of it all, the kids saw this all play out – your common sense, your attempt to warn the family, her choice to ignore your concern that led to a quick fafo situation.”
“She’s embarrassed.”
“I really hope she swallows her pride enough to apologize for projecting her anger onto you.”
“She was probably thinking of your concern about the knife the moment it happened.”
“Good job on not saying told you so.”
“That has never helped anything.” ~ shootingstarstuff
“NTA, but you’re kind of in the situation I was in a few years ago.”
“Husband refused to use a cutting board like a normal person and insisted he could cut a bagel while holding it.”
“Cut the same part of his hand like your wife, but not as badly.”
“Ended up needing stitches.”
“I absolutely told him, ‘I told you so.'”
“Told my elderly aunt about the incident.”
“She bought him a bagel slicer.”
“My aunt meant no ill intent with the gift and genuinely thought she was helping.”
“I found it hilarious.”
“He now uses the bagel slicer. 😂.” ~ Snickers_Kat
Reddit is with you, OP.
You warned her.
And you accompanied her to the hospital.
She is probably dealing with her own guilt.
Try not to let it bother you.
Good Luck.