Love and adulting always comes with a cost of compromise.
You’re not always going to be able to do whatever you want.
And when you do decide to unilaterally chose you… it can come with consequences.
Case in point…
Redditor superbowlattender wanted to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for leaving my wife and our four kids at home to go to the Super Bowl?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Throwaway account as family members use Reddit.”
“Ok, so I (38M[ale]) have a wife (36F[emale]), and four children (ages 8-14).”
“My buddies and I found some great deals on Super Bowl tickets in LA, so we bought the tickets and we flew out on the day before the Super Bowl.”
“Even though neither the Rams nor the Bengals are my favorite team, I was very excited to watch the halftime show with some of my favorite rappers in it.”
“Should also note that this was the first Super Bowl I have attended.”
“Here’s the catch- the day of the Super Bowl was also my wife’s birthday, and she was planning on just having a day to herself, going to the mall with friends, and getting a spa treatment.”
“However, because I’m out of town, she had to take care of the kids that day.”
“I offered to pay my eldest 200 bucks to take care of the younger siblings while my wife was out, but he said he wanted to go to the gym to hang out with his buddies.”
“My wife wasn’t exactly happy with the fact that she had to take care of the kids on her birthday, but I offered to treat her to a date at her favorite restaurant later, and while still sad, she agreed.”
“However, when I got back home yesterday, she started screaming at me and calling me an a**hole.”
“She hasn’t spoken to me since and is right now out of the house.”
“Edit: Should probably mention I offered a babysitter for the younger children but my wife declined as the kids have had trouble in the past with babysitters.”
“AITA for going to the Super Bowl and leaving her with the kids at home?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes HereESH –
- Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP WAS the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“YTA but it’s really painfully obvious why. Why don’t you just divorce your wife so she can marry someone who actually cares about her?”
“Edit: And you’re still TA after the edit. They are your kids too and you dumped them on her on the one day that was special to her.” ~ Scary-Indication-417
“Yeah, I think the pushback is that OP’s key argument is ‘Great deal on Super Bowl tickets’ – as in, the deal was so great, he just couldn’t pass it up!”
“I would have had more sympathy for OP if his team was playing. The “Great deal” argument just sounds completely ridiculous.” ~ Corpuscular_Ocelot
“OP when you make your wife feel special the other 364 days of the year, a missed birthday is not as hard to overcome.”
“My husband and I have been married a long time.”
“Over the years, there have been a couple of times when he has missed my birthday.”
“Always he made sure that I was OK with the situation.”
“Always I told him that he would find a way to make it up to me… and he always did.” ~ iadggm
It didn’t take long for OP to realize he needed to make a few updates…
“Edit 2: Seeing the comments down below, I get it, I f**ked up.”
“I was being an immature, pathetic a**hole and I do not deserve such a great person as my wife.”
“But if you could all please tone down the ‘YTA’ on my 14-year old, c’mon guys, he’s just a kid.”
“I will apologize to her immediately after she gets home and will tell you guys about the make-up vacation I will plan for her once I ask her about it with her full agreement.”
“Thanks for allowing me to realize my mistakes.”
“Also for those wondering about the amount of money I spent, I have my own business and my wife also has a high-paying job but she is typically not a huge money-spender.”
“Edit 3: My wife came back home, and we talked a little.”
“She says that she is willing to forgive me as I have admitted and apologized to her for f**king up this.”
“To make it up for her, I will buy her and her two best friends tickets to the Maldives (this is my wife’s number 1 bucket list place to go).”
“And I talked to the kids about treating their mother with respect and told them that I would try to set a better example for them.”
“The kids listened closely and my fourteen-year-old agreed he should have also been more considerate.”
“The younger ones are currently making cards for their mom about how much they love her and the older one has already promised to make a special breakfast for her.”
Reddit still had much to say…
T”HIS is what I want to know.”
“Dude needs to step it up here.”
“I don’t necessarily think it was wrong for him to go to an event that happened to fall on her birthday.”
“I DO think it was EXTREMELY wrong for him to overturn her own plans with her own friends that they had both already agreed upon on.”
“Then last minute leave her alone with their children all weekend… and then have the nerve to think dinner with him is supposed to make her happy.” ~ barbaramillicent
“So I’m his edit he’s flying her and two friends to the Maldives.”
“He’s obviously got craploads of cash, how the f**k was a dinner date his best offer to make up for ditching her.”
“If I had that much disposable income i would have taken my wife to the Maldives, not go to a shitty game that I don’t care about either team.”
“Jesus OP grow up.” ~ tuckedfexas
“YTA. Your solutions you offered are worthless.”
“A babysitter doesn’t work since your kids have issues with sitters, and those issues fall on her.”
“The oldest isn’t going to keep all the kids out of her hair.”
“And dinner is absolutely a worthless compensation for you forcing her to cancel her entire day and plans.” ~ superfastmomma
“I think some of the commenters here have OP in a ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ state of mind.”
“HOW DARE YOU SEND YOUR WIFE AND HER FRIENDS ON A VACATION.”
“I’m guessing he went away for the Super Bowl with his friends so this is her trip with her friends and he stays home with the kids this time.”
“Yeah, he f**ked up, but it sounds like he’s trying to apologize and make it right.”
“I always tell my kid that apologies come more from your actions and less from your words.”
“Say it, then follow it up. Dude’s doing that.” ~ CaRiSsA504
“YTA. Who prioritizes a game over their wife’s birthday?”
“Those tickets are thousands of dollars, not including the transportation to get to the games.”
“Why didn’t you pay for someone else to babysit your kids?”
“You obviously didn’t take your wife’s feelings into consideration at all since this game was more important to you.”
“You should have planned this out, locked in a sitter (not your unreliable 14 year old son), and made sure your wife was cool with all of this.” ~ droseri
“No debate needed. YTA. Big time.”
“It wasn’t a game that had any great significance for you (team-wise) and you would have been able to see the halftime show much better from home.”
“The fact it included performers you like is irrelevant b/c it’s such a short show and not even close to what you’d experience at a proper concert.”
“That you took off with your buddies on a whim proves it wasn’t important enough for any of you to plan for it in advance.”
“The fact you did it on her birthday might have been ok of you if had discussed it as a couple and made arrangements in advance for her to have her much-deserved relaxation day at another time (no one can control when the SuperBowl is scheduled).”
“But you just acted like a selfish teenager when you saw that deal (aka excuse) and neither your wife or kids entered your mind.”
“What makes it worse is that there’s no way this is an isolated incident, so your family has likely been putting up with your selfishness for a long time.” ~ MidModWinnie
“YTA. Going to a super bowl for teams you don’t even really like when your wife wanted a day to herself (when i assume she doesn’t really get that that often) for her BIRTHDAY is a fool move.”
“You making a small offer of dinner when she had to cancel her bday plans so YOU could go do something while she stayed home with the kids, is not an equal exchange.” ~ kaybybby
Well everyone was pretty clear on which team they were on.
Hopefully OP and his wife can celebrate and move on from this rough patch.
Thank goodness football season is over, it can be so stressful.