All parents want to be protective of their children.
Being protective could mean many things, but first and foremost, parents want their children to enjoy their childhood, and thus want to avoid having them exposed to certain things they needn’t worry about till they get a little bit older.
However, sometimes the best way to protect one’s children is to be honest with them.
And this could entail talking with them about certain things you hoped you wouldn’t have to until they were older.
Redditor OrganizationActual55 and her husband were firmly of the belief that honesty was the best policy when it came to their daughter.
So, when a question all children ask finally came to the table, they gave an honest, if age appropriate answer.
But when the Original Poster (OP)’s in-law’s got wind of this, they scolded the OP, feeling what she told her young daughter was anything but appropriate.
Wondering if she had, indeed, made a lapse in judgment, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my daughter where babies come from?”
The OP first explained how as her sister-in-law’s baby shower was fast approaching, her daughter became curious about babies, resulting in her asking the question all parents know they must answer at some point.
“I (30 F[emale]) have a daughter named Lizzy (5) who is very curious and loves to ask questions.”
“My husband Jack (36) and I always agreed to be completely honest with Lizzy.”
“Jacks sister is pregnant and her baby shower was this weekend.”
“While we were shopping for a baby shower gift Lizzy asked if the baby was in the mommy’s belly and I said yes.”
“I saw her face start becoming curious and I knew the questions would come.”
“When we got in the car she asked where babies came from.’
“I gave her an honest answer that was appropriate for her age.”
“’When a mommy and daddy are ready to have a baby the baby grows inside the mommy’s belly and then the baby comes out of the mommy’s belly like an operations or comes out of the mommy’s private parts’.”
“The conversation ended after a couple more questions and she said she understood.”
“We talked about other ways people had a family like adoption and sometimes people need help from doctors to get pregnant.”
“How some kids have two moms or two dads and how some kids have one mom and one dad or stepparents.”
“She was very interested.”
However, when Lizzy shared her newfound information with the OP’s in-laws, they were less than supportive of the OP’s decision.
“After buying the gift we went to the baby shower.”
“Lizzy’s grandmother was telling all the kids how babies are a gift from god and how the mommy and daddy get the baby as a present.”
“Lizzy took this opportunity to tell her grandmother she’s wrong and where babies come from in front of her cousins and different ways to make a family.”
“My mother in law wasn’t happy with me and neither were several aunts and uncles.”
“They said it was inappropriate and how her cousins didn’t need to hear that.”
“They started telling me I’m a bad mother for telling her too much and taking away her innocence.”
“I said back that maybe if they didn’t lie to their kids it wouldn’t be such a big deal.”
“A lot of my husbands family isn’t speaking to me now over it.”
“My husband doesn’t see the problem and says he’d rather her hear it from us than friends.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was in no way the a**hole for honestly answering their daughter’s question.
Not only did everyone agree that the OP was absolutely correct in giving an honest answer, but they gave perfectly appropriate answer for their daughter’s age, with many pointing out how important it was that Lizzy heard it form them, and not somewhere else.
“NTA.”
“You did everything right.”
“Children get curious about everything and there is absolutely no issue in explaining it to them age appropriately.”- Jaylene01
“NTA.”
“I was expecting you to go into the REAL details lmao.”
“But you kept it appropriate and truthful.”
“I don’t see the issue.”-nyquist_control_
“NTA.”
“You’re doing great.”
“She asked, you gave a simple truthful answer.”
“Not your problem if gran n co give the fluffy answer.”
“It reminds me of that scene in the ‘Addams Family Values’.”
:Young Girl: ‘…and then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and put the diamond in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!’.”
“Pugsley: ‘Our parents are having a baby too’.”
“Wednesday: ‘They had sex’.”- solo_beckett
“NTA.”
“Perhaps you should show your ILs the stats that kids who don’t know the proper names of their body parts are more likely to be targets of predators.”
“‘Take away her innocence’.”
“I can’t roll my eyes at that hard enough.”
“It is knowing how things actually work and was delivered in an age appropriate fashion.”-Emotional_Fan_7011
“NTA.”
“People need to stop “preserving children’s innocence”.
“It’s always been kinda dumb to me.”
“They deserve to know how the world works.”
“I grew up on a farm though, so I knew all the details by 5.”
“Kinda hard to avoid it when you can see animals ‘making babies’ just by walking around.”-FileDoesntExist
“NTA.”
“People need to stop ‘preserving children’s innocence’.”
“It’s always been kinda dumb to me.”
“They deserve to know how the world works. I grew up on a farm though, so I knew all the details by 5.”
“Kinda hard to avoid it when you can see animals ‘making babies’ just by walking around.”-FileDoesntExist
“NTA in any way, shape or form.”
“Your relatives are flat out wrong.”
“There are some truly terrifying statistics out there about children who are not taught basic biology and the impact it can have on their abilities to form healthy relationships later in life.”
“It’s incredibly important to answer questions like this in an honest, open and age appropriate manner, which you absolutely did.”
“A present from god?”
“Only good parents get them?”
“Wow, your daughters’ peers are going to have a hard time reconciling that with real life…”
“Ensure you continue to teach your daughter basic biology, including the correct names for private parts, and explain to her that she’s done nothing wrong in speaking up.”- RattyHandwriting
“NTA.”
“Very appropriate and inclusive explanation.”- MamaKilla20
“NTA.”
“Better she tells them than you, although when telling my kids I have a conversation with them also about how that discussion needs to stay at home bc some Mommy’s and Daddy’s aren’t ready to tell their kids where babies come from.”- Jennabear82
The OP later shared an update as to both how her husband responded to his family’s criticisms, and how Lizzy ended up taking matters into her own hands.
“As I was telling my husband I had posted this he told me he got text messages from his mom this morning.”
“Apparently she’s not only upset about us telling our daughter where babies come from but for also telling her the different ways to have a family.’
“She said that’s not her families beliefs and that I should know better than to teach her granddaughter that’s ok.”
“My husband responded back with ‘lol you know she has a uncle who’s marrying a man right?'”
“My husband decided to have a video call with his mother about what happened.”
“He was explaining to her that if she can’t accept all walks of life then he doesn’t want her around our daughter and make her unaccepting of other people.”
“Lizzy was getting ready for bed while this conversation was happening.”
“She went into the kitchen to grab her cookies and milk before bed and overheard her grandma and dad talking.”
“Dad didn’t even realize she came in the room.”
“Well she ran away from her cookies and milk and said she wanted grandma to read her a story before bed.”
“This little girl comes back with her children’s bible.”
“Grandma was thrilled.”
“Dad and grandma read the story with her.”
“At the end of the story it says how God wants us to love everybody.”
“She looks into the video call and says ‘grandma you should really listen to God’.”
“‘And are you sure daddy isn’t adopted?’”
“It took everything in me and my husband not to burst out laughing.”
“The adopted question happened because Lizzy thought grandma wasn’t telling the kids where babies really come from because she didn’t know and her dad was adopted.”
“We explained he wasn’t but I guess she just wanted to be sure.”
In the broader sense, one can appreciate Lizzy’s grandmother’s hopes that she’ll keep her innocence.
But one also hopes that she might appreciate that Lizzy appears to be a curious girl, eager to learn and takes in everything like a sponge.
Who also seems to understand the true meaning of love and respect more than most adults.