Cleaning up after someone’s ‘intimate encounter’ with a partner is not something everyone is comfortable doing.
If it’s a person’s job, like a hotel maid, that’s one thing,
But cleaning up after family and friends can give a person that ‘ick’ feel.
There are just some chores people might need to do themselves.
Redditor Remote_Tangerine_718 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA Mom mad because I don’t wanna clean her dirty sex sheets?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My mom travels for work and is often away for months at a time.”
“When she does come home, she usually flies in late, so she likes her room to be clean and her bed freshly washed and made.”
“I’m happy to oblige because she’s letting me live at home for free while I save up for my own place, and it’s a simple request to just want the house clean.”
“Plus, she’s my mom.”
“She’s been dating this guy and has him over sometimes when she’s in town.”
“The last time she was here was Thanksgiving, and this guy spent the night at our place.”
“I know that he and my mom had intimate relations because I could hear it from my room.”
“Yes, gross… but she’s an adult, and I’m living at her house.”
“So, it is what it is.”
“Anyways, she leaves to go back to work the next day without cleaning her room/sheets.”
“And now, she’ll be coming home next week for the holidays.”
“I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable cleaning her dirty sheets because I don’t want to touch dirty sheets.”
“She got pissed off and was saying that it’s not a big deal, as housekeepers in hotels clean dirty sheets all the time.”
“But I stood ten toes down that I’m not touching those sheets even with gloves.”
“She’s still pissed but said she’ll do it herself, but I don’t understand how she doesn’t understand that I actually feel offended that she’d expect me to handle those sheets in the first place.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA, she could have stripped the bed and put them in the washer before she left.” ~ Physical_Dance_9606
“Right… ask to move them to the dryer and make the bed if you don’t have time, but it takes two minutes to strip a bed and start the laundry.” ~ mrsthibeault
“NTA, anyone else who disagrees is weird. It doesn’t make op immature/lazy for not wanting to be around her mother’s fluids.”
“Also, OP does do the laundry as she stated in her post.”
“She just doesn’t want to wash these sheets from her mother’s sexual activities.” ~ BookkeeperWorking875
“Yeah op is fine cleaning, and it’s a very healthy boundary not to want to touch your parents’ sex blanket. NTA.” ~ i_was_a_person_once
“This. Why would OP’s mother want her own child to touch her sex sheets? Ew…”
“My father has had a VERY active sex life, and while he may say a bit too much at times, he would never, EVER want me touching his sheets unless they are fresh out of the wash… and even then it’s a very rare request.”
“It was never a boundary that needed to be established; it was just always there.”
“Once you come out into the world, you are done dealing with your parents’ sex life.”
“No more of that.” ~ Lower-Elk8395
“NTA, ‘I’m not a housekeeper, I’m your child.’”
“To be clear, I think general cleaning is a reasonable ask given her letting of live there.”
“But not going into another person’s bedroom is a hill I will die on.”
“I will not clean someone else’s room.”
“At most, I’d open the door and put the Roomba in there.” ~ First_Departure8072
“NTA, all the Americans in the comments are honestly so weird, acting like parents are doing charity for their children if they still live with them past a certain age.”
“You decide to have a kid, you sign up for supporting them for a lifetime, even though the kind of support you do will likely change throughout their lifetime, it doesn’t stop when the child reaches adulthood.”
“You apparently do enough housekeeping that she feels comfortable comparing you to an actual housekeeper (presumably including washing her sheets if they’re not dirty with sexual fluids), and from another comment, you do pay for several things.”
“It literally takes a few moments to take off dirty sheets.”
“She’s a grown woman; she can do that herself.” ~ sleepyggukie
“NTA, that’s just gross.”
“As a mother living with an adult child, I would never ask him or her to do that.”
“I also wouldn’t do it for him.” ~ DueRaccoon4897
“NTA. It wouldn’t have been difficult for her to throw them in the washer before she left and then ask you to dry them and remake her bed while she was gone.”
“She’s treating you like a housekeeper, not her child.”
“There’s no respect there.” ~j en_esse
“NTA – you are not a housekeeper, and I see below that you said you pay many bills in the house.”
“She can strip her own bed and throw the sheets in the wash before she leaves town (not a big deal for you to throw them in the dryer once they are clean and leave them on her bed for her) or wash her sheets when she gets home.”
“I’ve never lived with any roommates or family that expected me to change and wash their sheets.”
“It’s a weird ask in the first place to ask someone else to clean your bedroom.” ~ Aggravating_Onion_52
“NTA, her room should be her responsibility, and if she wants a clean room when she gets home, she can clean it before she goes.” ~ Silent-Appearance-78
“NTA, and anyone saying yta is welcome to wash their own parent’s cummy sheets.”
“That’s nasty AF.”
“It’s mental to ask anyone to clean that, outside of the person who helped you get them dirty.”
“And you ain’t a housekeeper, you’re her child, no matter how old!!!” ~ HoodieGalore
“As someone who works in healthcare, this IS gross.”
“The mom could easily strip the bed, put the laundry in the washer and start it, and I’m certain OP would not mind making the bed with the clean sheets.”
“There is a HUGE difference between cleaning up after your child and cleaning up after another grown adult, and I say that as someone who does for work.” ~ wisewolfholo14
“Right? I swear some of these commenters are actual children who don’t understand that bodily fluids smell and get gross.”
“I had to clean restrooms at an old job for about two weeks once, after the cleaner quit and the company was waiting on a new one.”
“People are f*cking disgusting, and you could not pay me enough to clean up after them.”
“I was on the verge of throwing up sometimes.”
“Your mom can clean her own nasty bedsheets, OP. NTA.” ~ hiddenone0326
“Completely reasonable to expect Mom to remove the semen/saliva/secretion/lubricant-laden sheets and throw them in the washing machine while she’s off to her next shag.”
“After that reasonable for you to do the rest.”
“Be sure and do a hot wash with bleach. NTA.” ~ Waste_Worker6122
“Yeah, Mom should have pulled those off and thrown them in the laundry room at the very least!”
“That’s pretty f**king rude and entitled to ask you to change dirty sex sheets!”
“When I go to visit my mom, and if my husband and I do the thing, I always insist on stripping the bed and throwing them in the washing machine.”
“I know she doesn’t mind and understands married things, but it gives me the ick to think of someone else touching it.”
A hotel is different because you’re paying somebody to deal with your gross sheets and towels.”
“They already know what they need to avoid and how to deal with the biological items.” ~ lissabeth777
“NTA, you’re allowed to have boundaries even when still living with parents.”
“If she wants you to continue, she can put her sheets and bedding into the washer, and you can take it from there.”
“The difference between this and housekeeping is that you aren’t cleaning up after your own mom (extra ick factor), and you know what you’re signing up for as a housekeeper.”
“Shes just doing a favor for her mom.”
“Was this a stipulation for you staying, or is it just something you decided you would do to thank your mom?”
“It sounds like you did this cuz you know she likes the fresh cleaning bedding, and you felt you could do this to show you appreciate her.”
“It really doesn’t mean you have to do something that makes you uncomfortable.”
“I do think the best solution is that she handles the dirty bedding from now on, you can start the washer, dry them, and put them back.”
“It isn’t unreasonable to want to touch sheets with your mom’s and boyfriend’s fluids on them.
“That grosses me out, too.” ~ Exoquey
“NTA. It is totally reasonable after someone has sex that they take their own sheets off and put them in the wash.”
I imagine you wouldn’t have an issue with then making the bed thereafter; she could just leave it stripped.” ~ YoshiJoshi_
Reddit is with you, OP.
Some chores just cross a line.
You’re keeping everything else clean and taking care of the house.
This isn’t that big of an ask on your part.
Good Luck.