Passengers board an airplane with an equal amount of excitement and dread.
Some people relish the chance to sit back and relax for a few hours, enjoying an opportunity to read, watch movies, or catch a few winks.
Others are so utterly terrified of flying that they find it impossible even to try and relax.
This isn’t taking into account how their fellow passengers might behave.
Redditor Unique_Excuse4780 recently boarded a flight to Los Angeles.
After taking off, the original poster (OP) was less than pleased to see that the passenger across the aisle from them was breaking an in-flight rule.
The OP did not mince words to call them out, which was not at all appreciated by the rule-breaking passenger.
Having some doubts about his behavior, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling a lady to put her dog back in the carrier on the airplane.”
The OP explained why they felt the need to call out a fellow passenger on a recent flight:
“I (35 M[ale]) had to fly to LA this morning on Delta and I had an aisle seat.”
“It was a smaller plane with 2 seats per side.”
“No TV or Movies on this flight and I wasn’t paying for WIFI, so just me and my music.”
“Ten minutes into the flight, the lady (40’s) across the aisle was moving around and trying to get in her personal item.”
“She busts out a dog. In my head, i’m like What the F*ck.”
“I’m not dog friendly so I tell the lady firmly, you better put the dog back in the carrier.”
“She says its cramped in the carrier, and the dog would rather be in her lap.”
“I tell her to put it away or this can be a bigger scene for you.”
“She reluctantly put it away.”
“The rest of the flight she would baby talk the dog and call me the a**hole.”
“I complained to the flight attendants after the flight.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The OP found little sympathy from the Reddit community, who largely had trouble sympathizing with anyone.
Just about everyone felt that the OP did not need to be as rude as he was to his fellow passenger, even if she was breaking the rules:
“NTA for asking her to follow the rules.”
“YTA for being a d*ck about it.”
“Ease up on the self righteousness and life will get a lot more pleasant for you generally.”-
FewStill3958
“So you, a man, told a woman ‘This can be a bigger scene for you’ after you ‘Firmly’ told her what to do.”
“Instead of calling a flight attendant. Instead of saying ‘hey I’m afraid of dogs even small ones, would you mind putting him away’ and allowing her empathy to take over, you decided to use your perceived power in this world to inform someone they may be in danger if they don’t do what you demand them to do?”
“Think about this from any other perspective of someone who is larger than you telling you what to do right now without any kind of warning or previous conversation, and they are bigger than you, and they seem threatening.”
“Does that seem like an a**hole?”
“Yes?”
“YTA.”- Opbombshellivy
“YTA.”
“Solely for your approach.”
“What an insane way to speak to someone.”
“You do sound like an a**hole.”- RutilatedGold
“Tf is wrong with you.”
“You realize you can communicate with people without being a jerk, right?”
“YTA for your unnecessary attitude.”- DemureDamsel122
“YTA.”
“You shouldn’t be talking to people that way.”- dontevercallmebabe
“YTA.”
“I tell her to put it away or this can be a bigger scene for you.”
“I see that you say you meant involving flight attendants, but… you didn’t say that. It’s unclear what you were envisioning by ‘causing a bigger scene’.”
“It definitely sounds threatening.”
“This is a garbage way to communicate with people unless you intended to sound threatening, in which case, you’re still an a**hole.”
“I don’t think you were wrong for wanting her to put the dog away, but if this is how you try to resolve conflicts you’re clearly an a**hole.”- BigBigBigTree
“YTA.”
“OP is asking if they’re an a**hole, not if he was right to point out policy.”
“It’s very clear the pet policy is written as is, and the pet owner should follow such.”
“However, you handled the situation like a totally entitled a**hole.”
“‘I’m not dog friendly…'”
“Actually, you’re just not friendly at all – an a**hole, if you will.”
“‘You better put that dog back in the carrier’.”
“‘Put it away or this can be a bigger scene for you’.”
“These are not polite, non-a**hole ways to address the situation, and just because you’re right doesn’t mean you’re not a total d*ck.”
“If you had politely asked her to, ‘please put the dog away’ (or some variation of that) you would not be an a**hole.”
“Hell, get the attention of the flight attendant and let them handle it.”
“However, you flat out addressed the woman like a pissed off a**hole.”
“The woman is wrong for taking the dog out, but sounded pretty non-confrontational.”
“You’re right in pointing out the policy, but you’re still an a**hole.”
“An E sucks Here would also qualify, but no way in hell are you clear of being an a**hole.”-buttgers
“YTA.”
“I’m not a dog person, at all. If the dog was climbing on me or licking me I’d have asked a flight attendant to intervene.”
“But.”
“If a small dog in someone’s lap across the aisle from you was so terrifying that you needed to threaten the woman then I’d suggest getting some counseling to work through that.”
“Threatening people because they’re doing something you don’t like, without even bothering to attempt to be civil or kind or going through the proper channels (alerting the FA) is always going to make YTA.”- Acrobatic_Hippo_9593
“YTA for how you handled.”
“While you’re technically in the right, you threatened her, which is wayyy worse than taking a dog out and putting it on her lap.”
“Ring for a flight attendant and let them handle it.”- Whitecheddarcheezit3
“You’re technically not the a-hole since this lady was breaking airline policy.”
“But you sure sound like the a-hole the way you spoke to her.”
“Seriously, is it that hard to ask nicely?”
“’Hey sorry, I’m really uncomfortable around dogs. Can you please put it back in the carrier?’”
“You honestly seem like an arrogant prick and the kind of person who looks for reasons to throw your weight around and start a fight – and that’s according to your own version of the story.”
“’Put it away or this can be a bigger scene for you’”?
“Really?”
“That’s your conflict resolution style?”
“Jesus Christ.”
“NTA for wanting the dog put away, but a definite AH for how you handled the whole thing.”-ThePrefect0fWanganui
There were those, however felt that the passenger with her dog needed to be called out, even the OP could have done so more politely than he did:
“ESH.”
“Because that lady should’ve kept her dog in the carrier (which is Delta’s policy), and ‘you better put that dog back in the carrier’ is just not how you talk to other people when you want them to do something for you out of the gate.”
“Next time just call the flight crew and ask them to handle it.”- catslady123
“ESH.”
“She should have kept the dog in its carrier, but there was no reason for you to get aggressive or threatening.”
“A normal person would have called over a flight attendant and let them deal with it since it’s, you know, their job.”- Specialist_Badger934
“ESH.”
“You’re completely entitled to ask her to put the dog back in the carrier but ‘put it away or this could be a bigger scene for you’ is such an unnecessary, instant escalation of hostilities to the point of borderline menace.”
“I mean, you’re in a cramped space 30,000ft in the air.”
“The normal thing would be to try a couple more exchanges along the ‘I’m really sorry but I’m not good with dogs and would appreciate you putting them away’ lines.”
“After that, go ahead with the harsher response (although even then, asking the flight attendants to intervene is probably going to cause less trouble).”
“She’s in the wrong to take the dog out of the carrier and then complain when someone asks her to put it back in, but from the way you’ve told the story I can’t say I blame her too much for branding you an AH.”- And_a_piece_of_toast
“ESH.”
“You’re in the right but an a**hole about it.”
“I’m a pet owner who wishes I could put my dog in my lap but I won’t because I follow the rules.”
“The person on your flight gives us all a bad name, but neither of you come out looking great here.”- mochafiend
Airlines don’t require dogs to stay in carriers to be mean, but rather out of consideration for passengers with allergies or phobias.
However, this was something that a flight attendant on board could have let the passenger know.
Which they would have most likely done in a far more polite manner than the OP.