The Nanny was an American sitcom that ran on the CBS television network from 1993-1999. It was the creation of the series’ star, Fran Drescher, and her now ex-husband, Peter Marc Jacobson.
Drescher tapped into her own family history and her relatives for the personalities that made up her character Fran Fine’s Jewish family from “Flushing Queens” in New York City.
According to the official series synopsis, The Nanny’s premise was:
“Wealthy widower Maxwell Sheffield hires door-to-door cosmetics saleswoman Fran Fine as the nanny for the Broadway producer’s three children, Maggie, Brighton and Grace. Fran brings her no-nonsense honesty, sharp sense of humour and `Queens logic’ into the Sheffield’s Manhattan household, helping them become a happy, healthy family—a family that Fran eventually joins when she marries Maxwell. Rounding out the Sheffield household is sarcastic English butler Niles and Sheffield’s business associate and frequent visitor C.C. Babcock.”
The Nanny was a bit of a polarizing program in its heyday.
The themes were mild family sitcom fair, but people either loved or hated main character Fran Fine. Drescher used an exaggerated, more nasal version of her own voice, Queens’ accent, and signature braying laugh.
But the show did well enough in the ratings to garner six seasons and it continues to thrive in syndication—where people continue to love it or hate it.
A wife in the “I ❤️ Fran Fine” camp—married to someone who finds the character annoying—turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
TheNannyFan827229 asked:
“AITA for watching The Nanny?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I (43, female) love the show The Nanny, but my husband Brad (44, male) doesn’t. He says Fran’s voice gives him a headache, which I understand since he has a condition where he’s sensitive to some sounds.”
“Usually I watch it when he’s not at home so there’s no arguments. My TV doesn’t allow headphone or earbud connection.”
“Closed captioning ruins the show for me. I have to be able to hear it to enjoy it.”
“Today, I decided to watch it even though he was at home. I thought since he was in another room, he wouldn’t hear it.”
“He was in the other room when I began to watch. He comes out 10 minutes later and asks me to turn it off or at least turn it down.
“I cannot hear well so I usually have the volume at 45-60 so I can hear the TV. I live in a detached house, so I don’t have to worry about neighbors on the other side of a shared wall.”
“I said no, because he could just go into the other room. But he said he could still hear it from there.”
“I argued with him about it, but eventually he decided to lock himself in the spare room and won’t let me in.”
“AITA?”
The OP summed up their situation.
“I refused to turn off or turn down the volume of the TV when The Nanny was on, which gave my husband a headache.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was definitely the a**hole (YTA).
“YTA. You had me until the volume thing. That’s extremely loud.”
“Obviously it’s what you need to be able to hear, but if what you’re watching gives him a headache, some headphones are probably in order at least for that show.”
“Unless your TV is an old cathode ray tube model, it can be fitted with headphones or transmit to earbuds. ‘You don’t know how’ isn’t the same as ‘it can’t be done’.”
“It’s not an a**hole move to watch a show he doesn’t like when he’s home, but not watching. It is an a**hole move to give him a headache so you can watch the show you prefer.”
“Ultimately, one problem is worse than the other.” ~ Psile
“Yup! I have misophonia as well and sometimes I swear i can hear people chatting thru my fan at night. It’s a different type of headache. OP, invest in earphones. YTA.” ~ beautifulcreature86
“Yup! My man is hard of hearing and the volume of the TV was so loud that I found myself going to sleep as a defensive move.”
“He and I had a calm rational discussion that I couldn’t live this way any more. He realized I was very serious and since we can’t afford ‘hearing aids’ that you get from an ENT doctor (even with insurance) we compromised and bought soMe ‘amplifiers’ from Amazon.”
“And now that he can hear again….his mood has improved dramatically. We didn’t know that not being able to hear causes that person to be very irritable.” ~ Dcarr33
“YTA. If you need the volume that loud, you need either hearing aids or headphones.”
“Your TV is obnoxiously loud and disturbing others, and even worse, you’re choosing your enjoyment of a sitcom over causing your husband actual pain.”
“Any halfway decent partner understands that your enjoyment of something should pretty much never trump directly causing your partner pain.” ~ KaliTheBlaze
“I second headphones. When my kid was born, I invested in a really good set of headphones & a Bluetooth transmitter, so when baby was asleep, I could watch TV without waking them—or hubby, if it was a 2am random feeding wakeup.”
“7 years later, still the absolute best for late night TV!” ~ purple-paper-punch
“YTA. ‘I cannot hear well so I usually have the volume at 45-60 so I can hear the TV’.”
“Nope. You do not get to inconvenience others in the course of addressing your own needs.”
“Captions. Bluetooth earbuds. Wait until he’s not home. Choose one.” ~ StAlvis
“YTA. Turn on the closed captioning and turn it down. At that volume, the neighbors can hear her annoying voice.”
“You yourself said you normally don’t subject your hubby to it because you know he doesn’t like it. Why then was today the day to annoy him with something you know would bother him?” ~ NotCreativeAtAll16
“And if they have a Roku they can cast the audio to their phone through the app and use headphones.” ~ Psiwerewolf
“There are literally so many tech solutions to this problem and OP doesn’t want to hear any of them.” ~ writinwater
“She wants to, but she can’t because the volume on her TV is too loud.” ~ adreddit298
“YTA—you’re hard of hearing, so you blast the TV and he has to accommodate you, along with anyone else in the vicinity?”
“You’re a person that watches videos on their phone on the train or bus without earbuds, aren’t you?”
“Get some headphones or earbuds, and get a clue while you’re at it.” ~ LincredibleOne
“YTA. 45-60 volume on a TV can be very loud, depending on the TV, and you know it gives him headaches.”
“You could easily turn it down a little bit and pull a chair closer to the TV to hear it, but you decided to refuse his requests with no kind of compromise.”
“Are you unable to watch your show on a computer with headphones on or on your phone?” ~ HolSmGamer
“YTA. Consider other people. You are helping your needs at the expense of the needs of others.”
“You can’t hear well, he can hear too well. Find a way to hear what you need to without others hearing it.”
“I’m autistic with intense sensitivity to sound, and certain sounds will certainly ruin my day—to put it mildly.” ~ Organic_Ad_4678
“YTA. You picked a petty hill to die on. Apologize. Do better.” ~ ReservedPickup12
“YTA. You know your husband has a condition that makes him sensitive to some sounds.
“Is it misophonia, by any chance? It’s very real and very difficult to endure when it’s triggered.”
“You know Fran Drescher’s voice triggers his condition.”
“You choose to broadcast Fran Drescher’s voice throughout the house at a volume that probably made it audible to people in the houses on either side of yours.”
“I get that you may not realize how very, very, very loud your TV is, but you do know you keep the volume at five or six times normal.”
“How could you possibly not be the a**hole here?” ~ Revolutionary-Dryad
“I have misophonia. One of my (many) triggers is whistling. This would be like somebody repeatedly blasting The Andy Griffith Show theme song.”
“I left my ex because (among many other reasons) he wouldn’t respect my misophonia.”
“YTA, OP. If you don’t respect your partner’s boundaries, mental health issues or not, how can you expect a relationship to work?” ~ Revolutionary-Dryad
“YTA. You know her voice gives him a headache. He could still hear it in the other room. Instead of being a jerk you could opt to watch with headphones.
“That way everyone is happy. It’s not an either or situation, you just refused to compromise.” ~ slayerchick
“YTA. Consider putting yourself in your husband’s shoes—his partner willfully did something knowing it’d cause a headache and did not consider a compromise position.”
“Keep enjoying the show at other times or invest in earbuds.” ~ Walkingmetamorphosis
Several Redditors mentioned misophonia, which is common among people who are neurodivergent.
Misophonia is a strong reaction to specific sounds, at any volume, while non-triggering sounds don’t bother the listener.
People with misophonia can become irritated, enraged, or even panicked when they hear their trigger sounds.
If you know something bothers someone you love, why do it? Worse, why double down when your loved one asks you to stop?