Giving someone a ride home when they’re drunk is not just kind, it’s responsible. It really makes sure they get safely into their house, and that they don’t get into an accident, or lost from an uber, or otherwise endangered. It’s an act of utmost friendship.
So Reddit user ProudKey13 was thoroughly confused after he gave a friend’s very drunk fiancée a ride home, and received blowback from others for his choice. After all, he only wanted to make sure she was okay.
Confused and needing feedback, he went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” for some objective input from strangers.
He asked:
“AITA for driving my buddy’s drunk fiancée home after they had a fight instead of calling her an Uber?”
Our original poster, or OP, set the stage for the argument that lead to the ride home.
“I’m 24M[ale]. My friend and his fiancée (23M and 21F[emale]) were at the same bar I was at (we weren’t planning to meet up there, we just happened to run into each other).”
“Pretty late into the night (about 1 AM) i was outside catching up with another buddy when they came outside and got into a pretty bad fight.”
“I’m not sure exactly what it was about. Something about another girl, either he was talking to someone and getting too familiar, or he gave someone his number, he was pissed and she was drunk so not much either one of them was saying made much sense.”
“He was their dd, he basically told her to f**k off and find her own ride, she said she didn’t want to be in a car with him anyway, flipped him off and went back into the bar.”
Making sure that she was ok, OP offered her the fateful ride home.
“I went over to her, asked if she was ok and she said she was. I’m not that close with her so I left it at that, she was still with her friends so I figured she was in good hands.”
“An hour later, the bars closing. I hadn’t been drinking (my work starts at 3:30AM so I sleep during the day, bars are the only place open when I’m up).”
“My buddy’s girl had been though, and all of her friends had left except for one guy who was pretty drunk himself and chatting up this other guy near the bathroom.”
“I asked her if she needed a ride, she wasn’t really able to form a coherent answer so I took that as a yes.”
“We live in a small town, I know where she lives because I used to get tutored by her older sister back in high school.”
Once she got to her parents’ place, OP felt his job was done, but the next day held surprises.
“I drove her to her house (her parents house, not her and my buddy’s place), gave her sister a call who comes out and meets us at the door and takes it from there.”
“The next day my buddy starts blowing up my phone, saying I disrespected him for driving her home, and I should’ve called her an Uber, because I shouldn’t be spending alone time in a car with her like that.”
“My other friend who knows about the situation said he understands why I did it, but that there are ‘implications’ now that something happened between his fiancée and I.”
“I think that’s bullsh*t, I wouldn’t hook up with my friends girl or a girl that had been drinking like that, and Im not talking bad about people who drive for Uber but I think it’d be messed up to hand her over to a stranger, but I’ve never used an Uber or anything so maybe I’m out of touch here.”
“I need to know if I should text the two of them and apologize. AITA?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors not only think OP was NTA, they have a VERY clear view of who TA is.
“NTA. You were a safer option than a girl alone in an Uber in the middle of the night.”
“From the sounds of their fight your ‘friend’ is a cheater and that’s why he suspects you and his fiance would do the same.”
“Edited To Add- thank you for the awards, and this was in no way meant to be a slight on Uber drivers, rather just pointing out that a trusted friend is safer than a stranger and as others have said an Uber driver shouldn’t have to deal with a blackout drunk stranger either.”~AprilL4163
“As a former Uber driver, thank you for this. I stopped driving after midnight because I hated dealing with the drunks.”
“The hassle just wasn’t worth it. Neither was the cleaning fee. And you know, depending on her condition the Uber driver could have taken one look at her and said forget it.”
“OP is so NTA for seeing this girl home safely.”~Grounded55
“Worse than that, who leaves their fiancee in an unsafe situation? It doesn’t matter how bad the fight you shouldn’t just leave without making sure they’re gonna be ok!”
“And he didn’t even check on them? Like call her friends or whatever.”
“The fiance found out the next day ffs… Massive NTA. Her fiance though… Jfc… What if something bad would have actually happened? Dude you are awesome and did the right thing a 100%”~pachoclub
“It sounds like your friend is not going to / already hasn’t been faithful to his fiancee.”
“You absolutely did the right thing driving her home and calling her sister to ensure someone was there to care for her at the other end.”
“There is nothing implied about fidelity by being in the same car as her and your buddy probably thinks that because that’s the shady thing he’d try to do.”
“Thank you OP for looking out for her. NTA”~MPBoomBoom22
Reddit very clearly thinks OP’s friend is by FAR the AH.
“Yep NTA. Your buddy is definitely a cheater though.”
“My Ex girlfriend treated me exactly the same; she’d kick off any time I gave any of my female friends a lift home from the club/bar if I wasn’t drinking, accusing me of cheating with them because that’s what she assumed ‘girls do to say thankyou for the lift home.’”
“Essentially because she was a cheater and that’s what she did 🤷🏻♂️”~yer-da-sells-avon-
“Nope my dude. NTA. She was drunk at the point of not forming coherent phrase? You did right by taking her home yourself.”
“God forbid you put her in an Uber and you had a ‘bad luck moment’ and the person driving did something to her.”
“If your buddy and that other friend think there are ‘implications’ that’s their problem ‘cuz you know what you did and did not do.”
“Her boyfriend was, at the bare minimum, an IDIOT for leaving her behind when she was already more than tipsy.”~Yes_Im_still_sleepy
“NTA!!! Putting her in an Uber with a driver you don’t know would have been irresponsible. By not doing so, you may have saved her from being assaulted.”
“New York Times, 2019: Uber Says 3,045 Sexual Assaults Were Reported in U.S. Rides Last Year“
“CNN, 2018: CNN investigation: 103 Uber drivers accused of sexual assault or abuse“~CaliLemonEater
“NTA. if I were in this girls situation, I’d rather be taken home by someone I knew than a stranger. All you did was give her a ride home, there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Your buddy shouldn’t have just up and left his drunk girlfriend at a bar, even if she was with some friends.”~MeringuepieMoth
And people are strongly urging OP to stop talking to this friend.
“NTA. So he left her drunk to fend for herself and is complaining you did an almost stranger what he should have done for his fiancé? Yeah, f**k him.”
“We hear so many stories about women being harassed or raped by uber drivers, his fiancé would be an easy target for that. As a woman, thank you for doing that!”~girl_in_red_costume
“Your friend is an a**hole. Why would he be more worried about cheating than his fiancé getting home?”
“It sounds like he is projecting onto you and her and is in fact cheating on his partner. I think the bigger question is, do you want to be associated with that kind of person as your friend? NTA”~lilliamos60
“NTA. There are no ‘implications'” She was pissed drunk and didn’t know you from Adam, it sounds like.”
“So better someone who definitely has her best interests in mind than a stranger who might not even have been able to get her home if they got lost and she wasn’t sober enough to direct them.”
“Plus, as a woman, there’s always the fear of getting into strange cars with strange people. You did something good, and your friends are wrong to paint you otherwise.”~giftwolf
“NTA. I think he’s angry out of his own guilt. You protected his fiancé from a potential horrible situation when he should’ve manned up and done it himself.”
“I understand that couples fight, it’s natural, but to leave her in an inebriated state at a bar alone with no ride means HE dropped the ball, not you.”
“You handled it as a good friend and if he can’t see that then he’s an immature boy who needs to grow tf up. You do not abandon the woman ‘you love and want to marry.'”
“He’s too young to get married if he thinks that’s a proper response to a fight. What a jerk. Kudos to you OP.”~blank_check91
OP did this girl a solid because he has a conscience. At least, that’s Reddit’s consensus.
Will OP stay friends with this friend who leaves his loved ones alone at a bar?