Family and money.
That can be an explosive mix.
It can be especially troublesome when dividing funds.
Who deserves how much and why?
This is where the curse of cash can play out.
Case in point…
Redditor trustfundhalfbrat wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for not splitting my trust fund with my half-sister even though she is pregnant?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (F[emale] 23) have a half-sister, Kylie (21), who is the product of one of my dad’s affairs.”
“Her birth resulted in my parents splitting up.”
“Mum remarried two years later, and my dad moved away shortly after the split and wasn’t really a part of my life.”
“I always knew about Kylie, but I only met her when I was 16 through my father, and while we saw each other a few times over the next few years, we never developed a relationship.”
“For most of the past two decades, my father has been a gambling addict.”
“He never had much of a stable income and definitely not a stable lifestyle.”
“Because of this, my grandparents fulfilled all the financial stipulations in his divorce.”
“They paid for my education, paid child support to my mother, and set up a trust fund which I got when I was 21.”
“This was all an unofficial arrangement, and they did not do this for Kylie.”
“I met my fiancé at 19, so I have never used any of the money in the trust fund.”
“Two weeks ago, I was at my dad’s for dinner (we live in the same city), and he said that Kylie had asked for my phone number.”
“I said it was okay to give it to her.”
“My dad also mentioned that Kylie is now pregnant.”
“A few days after this, I got a call from Kylie.”
“She explained that she is working a minimum wage job and living in accommodation that will be unsuitable when she gives birth.”
“She said that since I had a trust fund that she also should have got, I should split it with her so that her child doesn’t have to go through what she did.”
“I was totally blindsided by this and said I would think about it.”
“She called me every day after that, saying how she had a lot of expenses now she was pregnant and guilt-tripping me, saying the family owes her.”
“I talked to my grandfather, and he said while it’s my money, he thinks I’d be an idiot to hand out large sums of money to someone I don’t know and who only wants to know me because she wants money.”
“Ultimately, I felt he was right and told Kylie I wouldn’t be splitting the money with her.”
“She started screaming at me, calling me selfish and spoilt, and basically dumped 20 years of trauma at my door because I had the audacity to be born.”
“She also said it will be my fault if something happens to her baby or if he/she grows up poor.”
“I hung up the phone and cried.”
“My grandparents and fiancé say I’ve done the right thing.”
“My dad said he’s offered to give Kylie some money, but he doesn’t have access to the kind of money in the trust fund because of his addiction.”
“But he says I’m not to blame and that Kylie isn’t my responsibility.”
“That said, the things she said about her life and about her child’s future were so awful I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“I don’t think I’m the AH for not wanting to give huge amounts of money to a virtual stranger, especially one who was so demanding and rude to me.”
“But I also don’t like to think I’m punishing an innocent unborn child for who their mother is.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Not by a long shot.”
“You don’t have a relationship with Kylie.”
“Nothing about her situation is your fault or your responsibility.”
“It’s your money, and you have no obligation to give it to her, pregnant or not.” ~ Starry_Gecko
“It’s weird OP thinks she’s punishing someone.”
“OP had nothing to do with causing the birth of this child, no more than she caused the birth of any other child in the world.”
“The only difference is Kylie knows OP and wants OP’s money.”
“But I bet OP knows a lot of people with kids, some probably better than Kylie.”
“Knowing someone does not give you a right to that person’s money.”
“And in fact, Kylie had little interest in OP until she decided she was entitled to the money.”
“OP should block Kylie, move on with her life, and sleep the sleep of the innocent.” ~ Boeing367-80
“Oh. Better point here.”
“Kylie is an affair baby.”
“The only people responsible for her are dad and the affair partner.”
“She is entitled to nothing, and based on her response to being told no, she should get nothing.”
“If anything, baby daddy should be put to task if Kylie wants help with the baby. NTA.” ~ ITsunayoshiI
“Yes, this… Kylie is not your responsibility.”
“Even your father says so.”
“And your family is right. She only wanted to get in touch because of the money, not because of you.”
“Not because she wanted to establish a sisterly bond.”
“She was trying to emotionally manipulate you into giving her money.”
“NTA. And your half-sister is a raging B….”
“I feel sorry for her baby.”
“Where’s the baby daddy, by the way?” ~ DoIwantToKnow6417
“NTA- yeah there are thousands of women in Kylie’s position.”
“You have just as much obligation to them as her, as she’s basically a stranger.”
“I feel for her, but it’s not your responsibility.”
“She’s not even trying to pretend to want to be part of your life because of your ‘family’ or whatever.”
“She’s just saying, ‘you have money, I want it, give it to me.'”
“She’s being selfish and entitled.”
“She’s the one who chose to have a child; she needs to be the one to figure out how to care for it.”
“It’s gonna be a rough road for her but shaking down a veritable stranger for cash, isn’t it.” ~ acegirl1985
“Block her number. You don’t owe her; your dad does, and he said he will, so you don’t need to.”
“Also, what about her baby’s father? He should be contributing too. NTA.” ~ Sweet-Salt-1630
“THIS right here!!”
“And also, she never bothered to build a relationship with you before, and now all of a sudden, when she needs money, she just calls you out of the blue?”
“If that’s not gold digging, I don’t know what is. NTA.”
“OP is not your responsibility to fix her situation.”
“Who knows if she’ll even use that money on her baby or blow it on who knows what?”
“She may be biologically your half-sister but you are basically strangers.”
“You did the right thing.” ~ Few-Opinion55
“NTA, Kylie is not your responsibility but that of her parents.”
“That said, one doesn’t make a baby and blame others for that child’s living conditions.”
“She has a responsibility to her child, not you.”
“And if it wasn’t because of money, she wouldn’t give two monkeys about you.”
“Go and enjoy your trust fund.” ~ One-Awareness3671
“Agreed. This is not on OP. Hard NTA.”
“That said, I have empathy for Kylie.”
“Their dad sounds like he 100% dropped the ball, and she also sounds like she didn’t have much (if any) of a relationship with her grandparents.”
“It must sting knowing that your sibling gets resources, support and a relationship from your mutual family, that you will never receive.” ~ Electrical-Date-3951
“NTA You do not know her.”
“She has a dad. She has a mom.”
“And her baby has a dad and two sets of grandparents.”
“Kylie is unwed and pregnant because of Kylie.”
“Her dad being an addict and having a horrible childhood- not her fault.”
“Not yours either.”
“But Kylie further compounded her problems by adding a child.”
“Do not share your trust fund.”
“Do not share your trust fund.”
“Do not share your trust fund!!”
“You will never see or hear from her again.”
“She’s looking for a handout-not help, big difference.” ~ Significant-Stage-54
“NTA. Kylie could have worked to build a relationship with you before.”
“Or should try now.”
“If she doesn’t, or if it doesn’t work, perhaps you can be a generous auntie to her child.”
“But your grandfather is right.”
“You would be crazy to give into her demand to simply hand a bunch of money to a virtual stranger.”
“You are not responsible for Kylie’s situation or her decision to have a child.”
“And you will not be responsible if she chooses to raise the child in poverty.”
“You know what would happen if you gave her a bunch of money?”
“It would be gone tomorrow, and she would be back at your door asking for the other half of the trust fund.”
“ETA: Kylie should be working to build relationships for herself and her child with you, your grandfather, and any other relatives who are willing to speak to her.”
“She missed out on a lot growing up as an affair baby, but she could work on making things better instead of blaming others.” ~ throw05282021
OP, Reddit is with you.
You are not responsible for other people’s actions in life.
You can’t bankroll everyone who needs help.
Hopefully, your sister will get it together and leave you in peace.