Game night can be a fun activity for friends or family, but not if someone is overly competitive or a sore loser.
Anyone who can’t handle losing can really derail everyone else’s fun.
An adult child turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback after inviting their mom to game night resulted in conflict.
SleepyN00dle asked:
“AITA for ‘kicking my mother out of my house’ over games?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“So this past weekend, my spouse and I invited my mother over for Family Game Night. The group consisted of 5 people total.”
“We played Scattergories and had a bit of debate on if several answers counted. Every decision was put to the group for a vote.”
“Example, does a restaurant count as a ‘store’? My mother quickly became unhappy with some of her answers getting outvoted.”
“The last straw came when the question was ‘things you replace’, the assigned letter was T, and I said ‘toilets’. She immediately said ‘well I’ve never seen anyone replace their toilet so that shouldn’t count either’.”
“I tried to defend myself and mentioned there is a south park episode all about Randy Marsh replacing his toilet. She responded with ‘WELL, if it happened on TV then THAT must make it real, right?'”
“Everyone was uncomfortably quiet.”
“Here’s where I might be the a**hole…”
“I’ve spent most of my life quietly taking these nasty comments from her and I decided to stand up for myself. I asked her ‘Do you have an issue we should talk about?'”
“She said ‘well this game was a bad idea because its all up to whatever you think counts or doesn’t’.”
“I told her ‘Every answer has been a vote. Do you want to move on and play a different game with a better attitude, or would you like to leave? Because right now you are making me uncomfortable’.”
“She decided to leave, and the rest of the group decided we’d like to continue playing other games without her. Now, I’ve heard from other family members that she said I ‘kicked her out of my home just for disagreeing with me’.”
“From my perspective, she had the option to stay if she could stop being rude and making everyone else have less fun. My brother suggested I could have debated less during the game, or just moved on without calling her out.”
“Everyone had a few answers shut down—I don’t think hers were more often, but honestly I didn’t keep track. My spouse particularly enjoys debating silly answers, for them that’s the point of the game.”
“I definitely did not intend to make her feel unwelcome. It was my idea to invite her since she complains of feeling left out if we get together without her.”
“So, AITA?”
The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.
“I spoke up against my mother for being rude. It caused her to leave my house and potentially ruined our gathering.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors were divided in their judgment with some voting not the a**hole (NTA)…
“NTA! Scattergories is my favorite game! For those who don’t know, you roll a 20+ sided die to pick a letter for the round.”
“Obviously, this round was Letter-T and when the clock is ticking down, you sometimes have to scramble for a word. I remember a fervent debate between my uncle and the rest of the group that indeed, donuts could be a pizza topping!”
“And if there is debate, you vote and the group decides if it counts. Different groups may vote differently. Obviously, your mom is a poor sport and couldn’t handle rules of the game.” ~ literacyshmiteracy
“NTA. Sounds like it was well overdue that someone stood up to her. Tell your brother that from now, he’s more than welcome to host her for family events.” ~ NopeNinjaSquirrel
“NTA. She was consistently being rude and her attitude was bringing down the evening. She chose to leave. There’s a way to debate nicely and kindly (and even with humour) during a game, and it sounds like she was being a sore loser instead.” ~ beneficialmirror13
“NTA. Boundaries are important in any relationship, parental, romantic, platonic, etc. You set one, she ignored it, and was then offered a choice to make. You should not have to deal with being bullied in your own home, let alone by a parent!”
“Tell the rest of your family that unless they were there that night, they are basing opinions of secondhand information and can please keep their opinions to themselves. I HIGHLY suggest you keep this boundary in place with your mom.”
“I also suggest not inviting mom to the next game night and keep it to adults who can self-regulate.” ~ Discount_Mithral
“NTA. Our parents sometimes have a difficult time remembering that we are people, not Muppets. She’s allowed her opinion, and you yours.”
“You asked her if she’d play the games without the attitude, and she chose, instead, to leave. That is 100% on her.”
“She didn’t like being told to behave appropriately by her child, regardless of your age, and went home sulking.”
“To those that disagree with you, here’s the thing: we all choose how we react, what we say, and how we behave. You have expectations of appropriate behavior in a group setting, and she chose not to abide by it. Simple as that.” ~ Glittoris20
“NTA. She chose to leave. Which is very different from, ‘Get the f*ck out of my house!’.”
“By the way, I’ve replaced three toilets.” ~ No_Olive_1110
“My wife and I have replaced all of the toilets in our 11-year old home because the ones the builder put in were not very good. There’s a reason home renovation stores have an entire aisle of toilets. NTA.” ~ Wonderful_Two_6710
“NTA. That’s literally the rules of the game, you can defend your answer but it’s ultimately up to a group vote whether it’s valid. I think it’s telling that everyone else there decided they wanted to continue playing after she left rather than leaving with her.” ~ 40DegreeDays
“NTA, she was being a bad sport and then ratcheted things up with her comment, making everyone uncomfortable. If she was noticeably unhappy about being outvoted and then turned nasty that is not a fun time for anyone.”
“Is that how the game should have continued? I don’t think so.”
“Besides, if she turned from fun debate to cutting remarks as a way to ‘win’ without the vote going her way, that is no longer part of the game and is just her taking things personally and wanting to come out on top in real life.” ~ kurokomainu
“NTA. Tell your mother toilets do need replacing, I had to replace my toilet two or three years ago due to it breaking. Like quite literally the glass or ceramic, or whatever the heavens toilets are made out of broke for like the bowl, and so the whole toilet needed to be replaced.” ~ Rowan-The-Writer
“NTA. This was Reactive Abuse and you did a good job of handling it carefully, especially considering the history y’all probably have. You need individual therapy and she needs to be excluded from things when she gets nasty.” ~ plotthick
…while others felt everyone sucked (ESH).
“I’m going with ESH. Your mother overreacted, but you used ONE example of someone in a cartoon replacing their toilet as proof. Generally people don’t replace their toilets unless they break.” ~ Queasy-Bat-7399
“ESH. Know your group when you play games, and adapt to the group vibe. Playing games with my closest friend group is nothing like games with my family, for example.”
“Your mom wasn’t with the vibe and that’s her own issue, but you handled it poorly. Don’t invite people of mixed vibe to game night.” ~ bcbdrums
“ESH. Sounds like a typical outing for family game night. You two need to work out the underlying issue. Whatever that is.” ~ billythevnenthusiast
“ESH I feel like with game nights people either want to win or they want to have fun, but it is not possible to do both.”
“I am quite sure your mother deserved a tongue lashing from years of abuse, but you did pick a strange time to die on that hill.” ~ jensmith20055002
“I think you guys should probably dish out your differences that have nothing to do with family game night anywhere but family game night.” ~ cheesygarlicbreadfan
“ESH. There’s obviously a long history here that you barely shared.”
“No one replaces their toilet(s) on a regular basis. Letting that trigger you was a poor choice, especially since it was you who invited everyone to your home.”
“Picking a ‘Family Game Night’ to make a stand effectively telling her to ‘give up or leave’ was…not a great choice.” ~ wesmorgan1
“ESH. Her reactions were out of line. You were a bit tart with her even if she did deserve it.” ~ VinRow
“ESH—game night is supposed to be fun for everyone, and it sounds like the debating went a little too hard. Yeah, mom overreacted and is a poor sport, but it sounds like it was justifiably building up over time.” ~ EdithVinger
The OP might want to pick another activity to invite their mother to.