There is nothing more frustrating than being falsely accused of something.
Redditor witchcwtch—who admitted she was prone to reacting strongly to confrontation—found herself at wit’s end when a friend constantly denigrated her for the way she spoke.
The persistent criticism from this friend finally took a toll and the Original Poster (OP) lashed out.
Fearing she might’ve gone too far, she took to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for yelling at a friend when she accused me of faking my accent?”
The OP started her post with an information about her immigrant parents.
“I was raised in America, but my parents are originally from Iceland. Why they moved here I could never explain, but their accents are pretty strong and I was homeschooled til I was around 8.”
“I have an accent, not as strong as theirs since English is my first (and sadly only) language but definitely it’s still noticeable.”
“I was talking to some friends from high school a few weeks ago and one of them said ‘I honestly thought you’d stop pretending to have that stupid accent when you went to college’.”
“I was confused and asked what she meant, and she said ‘it’s pretty obviously fake, you sound so much more American than your parents’.”
“I kind of just laughed it off and said ‘no haha this is actually my real voice and has been for my whole life’ and she rolled her eyes but we moved on. Since then she’s been badgering me about it, mostly in passing comments so I wasn’t sure if she was serious (I’m autistic) but multiple times in every conversation.”
“Sometimes I do this valley girl type accent for jokes and I did it the other day and that friend latched onto it as proof my accent was fake.”
“She kept nagging me to ‘talk like a normal person’ and ‘stop lying you’ve been caught’ etc but my breaking point was her snapping at me that ‘you’re so f*cking embarrassing, it was ok when we were kids but you’re an adult and I can’t keep associating with you if you don’t let this go’.”
“I think something in me broke for a minute cuz I started crying and let loose on her. I was probably being way too loud and harsh tbh but I screamed that she’s insane, an awful ‘friend,’ and it’s just my goddamn voice and she has no right to complain when her own is so b*tchy and grating.”
“I then kicked her from the call and blocked her on everything.”
“My other friends that were in the call were pretty quiet for a while, we tried to go back to our game but things felt a little tense and one of them said that I shouldn’t have gone off on her like that and she didn’t mean any harm.”
“I’m fed up and don’t want anything to do with her anymore. My other friends think she deserves a second chance, and one of them said they thought she was right.”
“I do think I was harsh but I also don’t feel like giving her more chances to harass me. AITA for this?
“I also have a disorder that causes psychosis so I’m pretty susceptible to being disturbed by stuff like this.”
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
“NTA. She was bullying you and harassing you, she got exactly what she deserved. And you were correct, she’s not your friend.” – killyergawds
“Idk how many of OP’s ‘friends’ are actual friends. They allowed the bullying to continue and sided with the bully. What jerks.”
“OP, send them the link to this post. You’re NTA but ALL your friends are [a**holes] here. They owe you an apology.” – justauser34
“It also sounds like they were using your diagnoses as a reason to gaslight you into thinking it was harmless teasing. It isn’t.”
“One comment or joke (while crass and unnecessary) was enough. She kept going and it was meant to humiliate you. You don’t need her as a friend.” – babymamaRJL
“I really hate that thing where someone is continually pushing your buttons over and over and then you snap.”
“All other people see is the snap, not the countless times they’ve pushed you to your limit, and you get comments like ‘that was too harsh,’ ‘they meant well,’ ‘give them a second chance’.”
They’ve had countless chances to see their behavior is f’ked up and change, but they haven’t. – proddy
“NTA. What a weird thing to accuse someone of faking. Especially since she knows your family is Icelandic.”
“Does she think you’re Elizabeth Holmes or something? Good on you for setting her straight.” – Youreplayinggod
“There are plenty of people raised in the US that have an accent. We all pick up ways of speech from our families growing up, and if your family speaks with an accent it makes sense that you would as well.”
“Either there is some underline jealousy there, or she’s one of those weirdos that think your culture—and therefore your accent—should be totally erased once you’re part of the ‘great American melting pot.’ Either way she’s TA.” – Youreplayinggod
People shared their own experiences with accents.
“Weirdly (or maybe not, now that I think about it) there are certain phrases that I say with an accent because they’re phrases I picked up from my parents and grandparents, all of whom have strong regional accents—albeit from different regions.”
“I was pretty good work friends with a guy who didn’t know my dad’s family was from Philly until he overheard me say I was meeting my family down the shore for vacation.”
“His wife’s family is from there and he recognized it. He also liked pointing out how when I’m tired or drinking my vowels get very New England-y.” – seanchaigirl
“I was raised in the north in a city. But spending most of my time growing up with my grandmothers, both of whom are from the Deep South I have a country drawl mixed in with a philly accent.”
“If I’m not trying super hard I sound like a bumpkin. I’ve never been below the Mason-Dixon Line for more than a week.”
“I was often mistaken on the phone for my grandmother as a child. Kinda strange for someone to confuse a ten year old boy with an elderly woman but WHATEVER.” – Smegmatyphoon
“My parents are Australian but lived in the US when me and my sister were born. My sister always had a moderate Australia accent while I had a straight American accent.”
“(Although my mother used her British accent when in the US as no one could understand her Aussie accent—a very weird sounding family!)” – slpinaus
“NTA. That comment from her tells you all you need to know: she’s jealous because you have a unique voice and sounds cool.”
“Drop those so-called ‘friends’ and build new relationships with a more diverse – and less ignorant – group of people.” – neuro_umbrage
Overall, most of the Redditors thought the OP’s reaction was warranted and suggested she reconsider her friendships.