Some professions garner far more attention than others, whether it be positive or negative.
Unfortunately for those who work in a profession with negative connotations, it can lead to some awkward conversations, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
For instance, Redditor hihello384720284 was catching up with a college friend when she revealed her boyfriend was also an OBGYN.
When her friend had an over-the-top reaction to this, the Original Poster (OP) was at a loss.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for criticizing my friend for judging my boyfriend’s OBGYN career path?”
The OP had been dating an OBGYN for a while.
“I (30 [Female]) have been dating my boyfriend (31 [Male]) for about two years.”
“In that time, he finished his OBGYN residency training and began working at a private practice.”
“We have a very happy relationship with great communication and we’re heading towards engagement.”
She was surprised at a friend’s reaction to that information.
“I recently caught up with a college friend (29 [Female]) who I hadn’t talked with in a while.”
“I’m not on social media a lot, so people who I haven’t kept up with often don’t realize I’m with my boyfriend, especially because we started dating right before the pandemic and haven’t traveled together for weddings or anything.”
“When I told my friend that my boyfriend was an OBGYN, she said, ‘Omg (oh my god), are you serious? He looks at vaginas all day? Doesn’t that make you insecure that he does that for a living?'”
“I asked her what she meant. She said, ‘Do you ever wonder if he’s judging yours? Or do you get jealous that he looks at other people’s vaginas constantly?'”
The OP did not appreciate her friend’s questions.
“I was super angry when I heard this.”
“First, that makes him sound pervy and unprofessional. He does look at vaginas FOR MEDICAL REASONS and is always completely professional with his patients.”
“Second, I really resented the implication that our relationship is lacking or that I have a reason to be insecure about his faithfulness to me.”
“Third, I think this reasoning is sexist and no one would ask that if I was dating a female OBGYN.”
“I responded, ‘That’s actually really messed up that you said that. It makes me angry and I’m going to stop this conversation now.'”
“Then I hung up the phone. She hasn’t reached out to apologize. I’m now wondering if I overreacted. I feel bad.”
“Reddit, AITA for calling her out like this?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP was totally right to call her friend out.
“Oh wow, your ‘friend’ is actually sexualizing a medical act that had nothing sexual. This is so messed up.”
“I bet she never birthed a child, right? I hope she grows up if she plans to do that, or else she’s in for a LOT of uncomfortable situations.”
“NTA. I would totally be angry too if I were you.” – MaybeAWalrus
“NTA. Your friend was being rude and judgemental.”
“You didn’t yell at her or call her names. You simply expressed your feelings and ended the conversation, which was a mature response to immature assumptions.” – Tai-Fraiser
“NTA. She is just projecting her own insecurity and it was horrible to call into question his professionalism.”
“Though one might get the same question if you were dating a woman, I loathe to think of the discrimination a lesbian gyno would face.” – Smudgiecles
“My fiancé is an esthetician and does a lot of Brazilian, for men and woman. I was a little skeptical at first for similar reasons, but I quickly got over it.”
“She explained that she’s very professional about it and it’s not sexual at all, literally just work. So I got over it and I’m super happy about her career path as she loves what she does and all the compliments.”
“But yes, NTA. She was totally right to react like that.” – WolfBear0104
“My dad was an OBGYN before doing a residency in forensic pathology. My mother was P**SED (even though they were dating, not quite engaged at the time) because he was on duty the night her cousin J, who worked at the same hospital, went into labor.”
He stayed after his shift ended because he didn’t want to upset J by having to switch doctors LITERALLY in her final stretch of labor.”
“Meanwhile, cousin J was grateful to have a doctor she knew and trusted there to deliver her first baby. It caused quite a bit of strain between my mother and her cousin for a while.” – Ok_Cry_1741
Others agreed and said the boyfriend wasn’t in a sexy profession.
“Nurse here – a penis is a penis is a penis. To all the men out there — no nurse looks at your johnson and gets hot and bothered. Seen a few hundred, seen ‘em all.” – SimpleSue7470
“The line from FRIENDS is always so funny to me:”
“‘You’re a waitress, right? Have you ever gotten home from a long shift and thought ‘If I see one more cup of coffee…’'”
“Makes me laugh every time. I can definitely see it having a negative effect on your sex drive.” – nmcaff
“I wax vaginas and they all end up looking the same! It’s a freaking body part. If an adult can’t handle that they aren’t mature enough to be in society with the rest of us.” – Poppy-Persephone
“My mom was a nurse. She said it was the least sexy thing ever and basically left her numb to seeing genitals in general.”
“Which helped when she ran into a flasher on her way home from work. She just frowned sadly, shook her head, looked him in the eye, and said, ‘I’m so sorry.’ Then she walked off while he stood there, stunned.” – Willowed-Wisp
“My mom is the same. She said she doesn’t notice if someone is nude at first glance. She worked in end-of-life and geriatric care.”
“In her words, ‘I’ve seen a LOT of old penises. A lot. People just take off their clothes when they’ve got dementia. It’s normal.'” – chaos_almighty
While the OP wondered if she spoke too harshly to her friends, the subReddit was certain she did the right thing.
Not only was her friend off-base and inappropriate, but she was making assumptions about the OP’s boyfriend and his career.