Co-ed sleeping arrangements among friends can be a tricky situation.
Who doesn’t love a good sleepover?
Especially a fun sleepover after a night of partying and having a good time.
It feels like there is always that one person who needs to make a scene.
Case in point…
Redditor One_Class9810 to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA telling a guy ‘The streets there, you can go sleep in it’ after they bi**hed about sharing a bed with me and then made him sleep on the floor?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My sister (24 F[emale]) and I (24 M[ale]) live together; we are pretty social people and run in the same friend group, so we normally have a lot of our friends at our house whenever we can.”
“This particular night we were having a ‘girl’s night’ (I’m one of them gays, so of course I’m invited to every girl’s night).”
“One of the girls (24 F) ended up bringing her brother (20 M) because she was going to be driving him somewhere in the morning.”
“It works out since instead of a dining room and living room we have two living rooms at each end of the house so we could have our privacy and we can do our own things.”
“At the end of the night, we worked out the sleeping arrangements.”
“We have a couch in each living room so 2 of the girls claimed those like they usually do, one of the girls shared with my sister and one was going to share with me.”
“We got a blow-up mattress out for the brother.”
“Apparently, that wasn’t good enough since he has a bad back and wanted a bed instead.”
“The girl sharing with me, being the sweetheart she is, offered up her spot in my bed, and she’d sleep on the mattress.”
“He did not like that idea and started b**ching about how he’s not going to share a bed with a gay guy and ‘what if he tries something.'”
“(Oh sweetie you flatter yourself, definitely not my type).”
“He suggested he share with my sister, and that was a BIG no from her, so he had more of a b**ch about how bad his back is, and Yada Yada Yada.”
“Eventually I just opened up the front door and said, ‘The streets there, you can go sleep in it instead.'”
“He ended up sleeping on the floor because I took the blow-up mattress away.”
“Me and my sister personally think he was fishing to share a bed with her.”
“I’ve gotten quite a bit of backlash from the girl whose brother it is and her friends (nothing from the other girls there).”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole here.
“This story really hits home for me.”
“20 years ago, I was this kid.”
“Went to a work conference and was sharing a hotel room with a gay guy.”
“I made a comment to a male peer at the conference stating that I hoped the gay guy wouldn’t try to make a pass at me.”
“I was IMMEDIATELY called out on my ignorance and ridiculousness.”
“It was brutal and awkward and I’m really thankful for it happening.”
“I was able to grow and be better and have made some truly wonderful friends from the LGBT community since then.”
“This guy massively sucks for trying to weasel into your sister’s bed, but I hope he gets a chance to self-reflect as I did and be better for it.”
“It’s one of those memories that has just stuck with me.”
“I really had no reason to behave that way.”
“My parents didn’t raise me to think like that.”
“I was just young and ignorant and trying to be ‘cool.'”
“I have 2 of my own boys now, and if I can do one thing right in raising them, it’s that they grow up to be kind and to be confident to call out others if they are behaving as I did back then. ~ TWGeoffington
“‘I can’t share a bed with a gay guy in case he tries something.'”
“‘I can share a bed with the gender I’m attached to, and you can trust me to share a bed with them.‘” ~ procrastinating_b
“So much this.”
“He’s mature enough to control himself around the gender he’s attracted to, but OP isn’t?”
“G[et] T[he] F[**k] O[ou] with this.”
“OP – NTA. The people giving you flack weren’t there. They don’t get a vote on this.” ~ Discount_Mithral
“Honestly, I don’t get why not one there thought of that.”
“But OP is NTA in any case.”
“If someone sleeps over at someone else’s house, there shouldn’t be a lot of expectations anyway.” ~ PrincessEurope2023
“I will firstly say OP is definitely NTA.”
“But I thought if this guy really insists on having to sleep in a bed, I would have suggested the siblings (As in OPs and the AHs sisters) sleep in the beds. The girl that was supposed to sleep with OPs sister gets a couch and the wonderful girl that would have traded gets the mattress.”
“Although I think it is totally fine how it went as the nice girl got to keep her spot.”
“So what do I know?” ~ fishface_92
“No crap that if you need such special sleeping arrangements…. Uber the hell home.”
“The 3 girls get priority over any dude for bed space.”
“I get where you’re coming from but just…. No. NTA.” ~ _ell0lle_
“I’m lost on why his Sister is witching when she brought him but couldn’t be put out enough to offer up her couch while taking the Air Mattress.”
“Or was a couch not good enough for his royal hiney-ness?”
“Personally, I would have told him and his sister where the nearest hotel was and put them outside.”
“NTA – Brother was an a**, and his sister supported his behavior.”
“Neither would be welcome back.” ~ False-Importance-741
“Full stop. When he said he was afraid OP would try something, I bet you that he was projecting.”
“NTA, OP.” ~ morchard1493
“Haha, I second this.”
“I mean, we weren’t there either I guess (lol) but so what.”
“Who the hell in their right mind gives OP flak for this?”
“The homophobic angle makes it worse.”
“But you know what?”
“Let’s be more gracious than that guy deserves for a second and analyze this without the whole gay factor thing.”
“OP still is NTA.”
“It isn’t that f**ker’s house.”
“Not your house. You don’t get to decide what’s offered.”
“Your choices are exactly what OP laid out.”
“Either accept the arrangements offered by the folks that live there or get the f**k out!”
“Dude had an air mattress offered.
“I’m happy to have an air mattress at someone else’s house.”
“And yeah, f**k them air mattresses.”
“They lose damned air overnight, and yeah it ain’t the most comfortable on your back when you wake up in the morning laying on top of this deflating, flaccid motherf**ker with your a** all numb from having hit the floor at some undetermined part of the night or morning while you were fast asleep.”
“The older I get, the less great I feel after a night on the bloody air mattress.”
“Still beats the floor.”
“And the alternative is to go home to your own bed or go get a damn motel room if you’re out of town.”
“NTA, indeed. These are just the facts of being a guest at someone else’s house.” ~ ForTheHordeKT
“NTA. You offered up your bed, and everyone was willing to compromise, but the guy had to make it a big deal because he didn’t want to sleep with a gay guy?”
“He can go sleep on the streets then.”
“His loss for not taking the blow-up mattress option.” ~ yuuheiperadoo
“Homophobes don’t get beds. Forget that guy.”
“Should have turned it around on him, though.”
“When he suggested sleeping with your sister, you just drop the ‘Ewww, no, what if he tries something?'”
“Exact same phrasing he used on you. NTA.” ~ gto_112_112
“You did exactly what I would have done, except you let him sleep in your house in the end.”
“So NTA.” ~ P-Body-Amoebe
“NTA. The fact that he presumed he could demand specific sleeping arrangements in someone else’s home is already a red flag.”
“Regarding the bad back, at 20, a night on the floor isn’t going to do any lasting harm.”
“On the off chance he was being truthful about his intentions (which seems slim), it’s still your house, and making sure your sister feels safe and comfortable is a top priority.”
“No one is entitled to a bed, especially when they come across as manipulative or have suspect motives.”
“Removing the mattress might be on the harsh side, but it drove the point home that you weren’t okay with his behavior or entitlement.”
“Ultimately, you just enforced reasonable boundaries.”
“Props for handling a difficult situation and prioritizing the comfort of your family in your own home.” ~ InnocentIsabel
“NTA. A guest of yours brought a completely uninvited MALE guest to a Girl’s Night, then he spent the evening whining about how he wanted to sleep with your sister while suggesting that your sexuality automatically implies that you’re out to get him.”
“Gross. As soon as he complained about the accommodations I would’ve offered to drop him at whatever hotel he preferred.”
“Whoever of you is closest to that friend needs to tell her not to bring her homophobic brother over again.”
“His behavior was outrageous, and he deserved to be shown the door.” ~ Swimming-Fix-2637
“Straight guy here, shared a bed with gay friends on more than a few occasions, never thought twice about it.”
“That guy’s a tool. NTA.” ~ randomprofanity
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
He had a few valid options for a place to sleep.
It sounds like your suspicions were valid.
If his sister was so upset, she should’ve offered to bunk with him.
Be careful with this “friendship.”
Good luck.