Part of being a good roommate is helping one’s roommate out as much as possible.
This could be simple things, like cleaning up after yourself in shared spaces, being cognizant of each other’s schedules and paying your share of the rent on time.
But some roommates go above and beyond in helping each other out, including Redditor roommate2001.
Aware that his female roommate was under a lot of pressure, and noticing she was running low on some very important products, he saved her the trouble of replenishing them, much to her satisfaction.
But when his girlfriend scolded him for doing so, the original poster (OP), took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for knowing my room mates period cycle and tush getting her tampons in advance? Despite having a girlfriend?”
The OP first expressed how when it came to his roommate situation, he felt that he might have lucked out.
“Okay so I don’t think I am the a**hole here but my girlfriend thinks differently so I put it up to the judgment or Reddit.”
“Currently, I live with one of my absolute best friends.”
“We have been friends since our iteration of high school, and we are both 23 now.”
“We are both university students, and since we started uni in the same town we decided to share a place together.”
“Everything has been great and so on, and we have been roommates for almost 2.5 years now.”
The OP also shared how after years of friendship and living together, he’s gotten to know elements of his roommate’s life as well or better than she does herself.
“My roommate is a medical student, which means she has early mornings and late nights of studying as well as managing a part time job.”
“So when she has tests and stuff coming up I barely see her and she is often very stressed out.”
“The event happened like a week ago.”
“So my roommate had a big test coming up right before Easter, so she spent all her awake time studying and all her supposed sleep time working.”
“It was an intense time for her.”
” One morning when I got up, my roommate was still sleeping.”
“I noticed that the tampon box she had in our bathroom was empty and had been for a time.”
“I also kinda know my roommates cycle since we’ve been living together for so long.”
“Realizing it was or soon to be that time, I went down to the corner shop and got a box of tampons.”
“I put it on our table with a note saying ‘don’t forget!’ before I left as she was still sleeping.”
The OP’s gesture was highly appreciated by his roommate, the OP’s girlfriend wasn’t quite as touched.
“Later that night me and my girlfriend of about 8 months, roommate and some other friends were meeting up for some drinks to catch a break from studying.”
“We were all there as my roommate came, she said hi to everyone and told me what a life saver I was.”
“She had completely forgotten that her period was due and thanked me, so that she had tampons with her.”
“My girlfriend frowned but didn’t say anything.”
“Later when we were alone she told me why I kept track of my roommates periods, and I said I didn’t do it purposely I just kinda know when her cycle is.”
“My GF told me it’s weird and wrong and I should not mix myself with other woman’s period.”
“It started a small argument and she still thinks I am an a**hole over it.”
“So on Reddit , what do you think?”
Fellow Reddiors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for looking out for his roommate, and taking the initiative to buy her tampons.
Just about everyone agreed that the OP’s girlfriend overreacted, with some expressing how she might have appreciated it had he. done it for her.
“NTA.”
“I think you’re a really sweet and caring person.”
“Periods are not romantic and you live with someone long enough, you know their habits and patterns.”
“Your girlfriend is just being insecure.”- PuzzleheadedTap4484.
“NTA.”
“This should be something your girlfriend should appreciate since it’s indicative of the kind of partner you could be.”- Diesel07012012.
“NTA.”
“I lived with my guy best friend in college and if he had done this for me his girlfriend wouldn’t have cared at ALL.”
“These are the type of things that happen when you live with someone especially for a long time.”-b00kw0rm_.
“NTA.”
“It’s a normal bodily function and she appreciated your help.”
“If you’d been tracking it or trying to work it out that would be weird but after 2 and half years living together that’s not a strange thing to notice.”- Sk111W.
“NTA, you are a thoughtful friend.”
“Don’t let your GF’s insecurities stop you.”- La-Belle-Gigi.
“NTA.”
“Non issue.:
“You did a nice thing.”-realmendontsit2p.
“NTA If I’d be on my period and would’ve forgotten to buy pads/tampons, my day would be stressful and in her already stressed situation I think it was very nice of you to make her day less hard.”
“That’s nothing weird when you live together for some time.”-JoySticcs.
“NTA…”
“You normalized a normal bodily function.”
“Purchasing tampons shouldn’t be any different than purchasing toilet paper or shampoo.”
“Your girlfriend’s reaction is odd.”
“But her reaction is on her.”
“Thank you for being a good roommate.”-OhioGirl22.
“NTA – It’s not like you’re actively tracking your roommate.”
“You just happen to notice and act on what’s going on in your surroundings.”
“Sorry your girlfriend can’t critically think.”-derpishcoquette.
“NTA.”
“That was thoughtful of you.”-Aggravating_Law_1315.
“NTA your girlfriend should be seeing the advantages of being with someone who doesn’t have to have periods explained to them like a middle school sex ed course, and that you’re proactive and thoughtful.”
“Sadly, ‘nice guys’ have tarnished the gestures of actually good guys to the point that your girlfriend has likely lived in a social world where men only do stuff for women if they plan to f*ck them.”
“It’s hard to adjust to a nicer, softer world that isn’t brutally transactional that way.”- Sea-Mud5386.
Some felt that the anger on the part of the OP’s girlfriend may have stemmed from jealousy, with a few finding her insecurities justified since their relationship is on the newer side, and that after a conversation with the OP, she wouldn’t think much of his buying his roommate tampons.
“Nta.”
“You are observant and thoughtful.”
“Your gf feels threatened by you and your roommates friendship.”
“She is jealous.”- tacodorifto.
“Super thoughtful.”
“But it will prob freak your gf out bc you’re young, kinda new together, and it’s a little intimate to know about a woman.”
“NAH.”
“You did fine, roommate was happy, and your girl mentioned her insecurity in private later.”
“Keep communicating with your gf :)”
“She might already be feeling a little weird about your roommate/ bff thing so this is how her fears came out.”- Parkatoplaya.
“Lol at ‘don’t forget’.”
“I usually get cramps or general discomfort as a big reminder.”
“That was very sweet and thoughtful.”
“My husband is also sweet but the most unobservant person ever, so I am really appreciating you.”
“I would just reassure your gf that you’d do that for all friends, not just a female roommate (and not ‘that’ as in buy tampons, but general niceties).”
“But it was not otherwise weird in any way.”
“NTA.”-friendlily.
While a few others had mixed feelings about the note he left with them, as well as that he seemed to know his roommate’s menstrual cycle.
“NTA.”
“But I’d find the note weird and off putting.”- iolaus79.
“I’ll be that person and say that it would weird me out a bit if there was a box o’ Tampax with a ‘don’t forget!’ note attached sitting out for public view.”
“Kinda stalker-ish.”
“But that’s just me.”
“However, discreetly replacing the empty box under the sink with a full one would be a wonderful surprise!”-Cabrona818.
“How on Earth do you actually remember when her period is due?”
“I have a pretty regular cycle and still need to mark on the calendar when I’m due on again.”
“I understand if you saw the tampons and because the box was empty you just replaced it but knowing when she’s due is bizarre to me to the point that I don’t think this is real…”-rycbar99.
“NAH.”
“TBH, I’d be creeped out by my platonic male roommate paying that close attention to my personal hygiene needs.”
“But if that works for you and your roommate, then all is good.”- lonnielee3
“‘I know your menstrual cycle and bought you tampons for it’.”
“Creepy, unless coming from your mom.”
“‘Remember when you ran out of tampons at an inconvenient time for yourself? Afterwards, i bought and held on to these tampons for you to use whenever you needed them’.”
“Kinda considerate and pragmatic but maintaining of the others privacy.”- aDDnTN.
It seems that the OP was just looking out for his roommate, and tried to help in whatever little way he could.
Something he’ll likely do for his girlfriend at some point, which might make her look back on this episode somewhat differently.