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Guy Repulsed After His Girlfriend Licks Cream Off All Their Oreos And Puts Them Back In Box

Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

There are many ways to enjoy an Oreo cookie.

Some people like dunking them in milk and taking a soggy bite. Some prefer them crushed into a milkshake.

Others like deconstructing America’s favorite cookie by taking apart the two halves and licking the creamy center.

Redditor lickernolicking complained about how his girlfriend did one of these Oreo-enjoying methods mentioned above but took it further and drove him crazy.

He visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:

“AITA for being pissed off at my girlfriend for licking ALL the oreos??”

The Orignal Poster (OP) explained:

“This is so stupid. We mostly get along great but this one issue is driving me f’king crazy.”

“Yesterday I went to get myself a couple of oreos and I noticed that they looked like they were taken apart and put back together. The cream was smeared/gone from a couple.”

“My gf confirmed that she licked Every. Single. One. of them and put them back in the box. She kept saying ‘just eat your cholocate chips!’ but that’s not the point.”

“It’s not hygienic having licked food just laying around the house like that. It’s just gross.”

“Today she’s doubling down. When the groceries came, she opened her chips in front of me, licked one of them all over, like just slobbered all over it, then put in back in the bag and shook it up.”

“Now I can’t eat any of them because I don’t know which ones have spit on them.”

“GF says I’m the AH for not letting this go, but I can’t it’s so gross.”

In an update, the OP wrote:

“I just want to clarify a few things:”

“They’re not HER snacks. We pick our own snacks, but we pay for groceries together, so technically they’re all OUR snacks.”

“I usually try to eat the ones I picked first, but sometimes I run out, or get bored of the same thing. She’s welcome to have mine if she wanted.”

“She never finishes her snacks. She eats like a bird, while I work out and need a lot more calories. It makes no sense for her to hoard snacks that she will never finish before they go bad.”

Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

A majority of Redditors were not on the OP’s side, especially after reading his clarifications.

“I have been this desperate to keep food separate before, op, YTA. Idc if you buy food ‘together’ – that does not mean everything you buy is split 50/50. I’ve split groceries with people who eat pickles, guess what – I hate pickles. Otherwise I’d make sure the plan is to split the pickles.”

“Just because you’re splitting the bill doesn’t mean everything you get is split down the middle. If you want oreos or the same chips as her, buy double.”

“If she’s having to literally lick everything she’s planning to eat herself to keep you from stealing it, YTA so much it’s atrocious. Be an adult, talk to her about how much you admire her taste in snackies and buy double whatever she gets so you stop stealing her food.” – itmesara

“YTA for the misleading post.”

“YTA for leaving out that you’ve been stealing her snacks when she repeatedly asked you not to.”

“YTA for using the tired excuse ‘I’m a bigger guy so I need more.’”

“Sure, it’s gross for her to have to resort to that. But the next time you dig into her snacks, watch out for the giant, slimy glob of mucous. It’d be such a shame if you consumed it!” – Ok-Chance-619

“It’s borderline troubling. OP’s blind obstinance about this situation almost feels like we’re glimpsing the outside edge of an eating disorder.”

“I’m not saying this is necessarily the case here, but I can see a situation where OP has a binge eating disorder that he’s decided to manage indirectly by working out excessively to allow for the binging (as opposed to addressing the binging directly).”

“And now he’s using the working out as an excuse for binging his GF’s snacks, trying to make her the bad guy, because he again doesn’t want to address the disordered eating directly.”

“The weird insistence that snacks be ‘finished’ by the next trip to the grocery store; the weird policing of the speed at which his GF consumes snacks; the contradictory ‘I eat bc I work out / I work out so I can eat’ comments.”

“Like I know we’re ripping on OP, and he’s a total AH, but something smells a little rotten in Denmark, if you know what I’m saying.” – DebDestroyerTX

“YTA. I was on your side until I read your comments and realized that you’ve been stuffing yourself with her snacks. She’s doing this because she doesn’t want you to eat her snacks anymore.”

“Leave her food alone and buy your own. And it’s convenient that you left out the part about how you’ve been gobbling her snacks even after eating all of yours. You left that out to paint yourself as the victim and make her look as bad as possible.” – ComprehensiveBand586

“My favorite part is how OP’s edit claims his girlfriend will never finishes her snacks before they go bad. More like she never has a chance to finish her snacks because his greedy ass swoops in and hoovers them all.” – ertrinken

“Yeah, if he needs a lot more calories, BUY THOSE CALORIES YOURSELF.”

“And honestly? if you are working out that often, WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU EATING SNACKS?”

“doesn’t that like negate the whole purpose of working out?”

“And if she doesnt’ finish her snacks before you need more groceries, guess what? YOU DONT NEED TO BUY THOSE SNACKS THAT WEEK!”

“Also, no, if you each pick out your own snacks, they are YOUR OWN SNACKS. Sure, you might be entitled to an oreo or two, but they are NOT your oreos. Just as she is entitled to your snacks occasionally (and not all of them) but they are NOT your snacks.” – DiegoIntrepid

“YTA after reading further into the comments. She’s not some random psycho Oreo licker, she’s doing this to stop you from eating her snacks. I eat my snacks little by little too, doesn’t mean that we won’t finish them and that you’re free to ‘help’ finishing them!”

“Ration your own snacks better or buy more of them if you keep running out before the next grocery run.” – asianingermany

“I really don’t understand why you’re so perplexed by this situation, OP. As pissed as you are about your gf licking the snacks, she’s probably equally irritated with you, if not even more so.”

“You both split the cost of groceries 50/50, yet you feel entitled to consume the lion’s share because she doesn’t eat everything as quickly as you. Saying you’re fine with her ‘trying’ some of your snacks doesn’t make this equitable.”

“Take the relationship out of the equation. Say you were sharing an apartment with a friend and similarly split the bills. How would you feel if he decided to eat 75% of the shared groceries because he ate substantially more than you? Would you be pissed? Would you want to find a way to keep him from always finishing them off first? That’s probably how your gf feels.”

“Yeah, licking is kinda gross, but if they are her designated snacks, she’s free to do whatever it takes to prevent you from selfishly hoarding them.”

“Btw, working out doesn’t burn as many calories as you think it does, certainly not enough to justify eating bags of Oreos or chips mostly by yourself (a regular size bag contains 1,920 calories). Unless you’re a pro athlete or lifting heavily for an hour+ per day, you’re probably only burning a few hundred calories more than your baseline.”

“In other words, working out is no excuse for being a selfish a**hole. If you want more food for yourself, then buy it with you’re own money. It’s not fair that your gf is expected to cover all her grocery expenses plus much of yours. YTA.” – Zealous_Zebras

“YTA. I hated having to hide anything “mine” from my ex because he would eat ‘his’ and then half of ‘mine.’ If I didn’t hide it I never got to finish enjoying my snacks.” – Purple__Unicorn

The OP updated his post again and implied he was getting the hint after so many people declared he was YTA.

“Fine, I get it, I’m TA, but I wasn’t tryna be gaslighting or whatever people were saying. We talked and I apologized. We agree to buy separate snacks that we pay for ourselves.”

“It kinda feels more like a roommate thing that a gf/bf thing, and she wouldn’t agree not to lick her snacks anymore, which makes me think it might be a deeper issue, but it’s just not worth the hassle to me at this point so I let it go. It’s resolved you yall can stop commenting now.”

Hopefully, their compromise sticks, and they can move on from this…unless there is something else he is not telling Redditors.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo