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Guy Enraged After Girlfriend Refuses To Start Shaving Her ‘Ugly And Disgusting’ Body Hair

Александр Заяц from Pixabay

Redditor pt_hime is a 21-year-old female who has been in a six-month relationship with her 21-year-old boyfriend.

When they first got together, she made one proclamation about their budding relationships she wouldn’t budge on.

At the time, he seemed to be on board with her request since he thought she was “very hot.”

But now their relationship hit a rough patch after their agreement was revisited.

She visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:

“AITA for not giving in to my boyfriend will of start shaving?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I have been in this relationship with my boyfriend for 6 months.”

“In the beginning, I didn’t want anything with him but then he started having feelings for me and then I eventually started too.”

“Before the official start of the relationship, I made it clear for him that I don’t shave and I don’t like to shave and that if this was going to be a problem then we should not start a relationship. I had to do this because when we were just hooking up he already mentioned that he didn’t like my body hair but as I was ‘very hot’ he could have sex with me and feel attracted with no problems.”

“For context, the only thing I do with my body hair is discolouration of the ones in the legs and armpits (you barely can see them) and to trim my pubes (just trim not shave).”

“So as I told in the beginning that I wasn’t going to shave I thought this would not be a problem in our relationship.”

“However, after the first month he started bombing me by saying that my body hair is ugly and disgusting and that I am dirty and all women shave so my feminism is not right and that if we are in a relationship I have to give in things for the shake of it.”

“Also, he says that he doesn’t want me to be with his family or friends in the summer as they may tell him he is with a ‘monkey girl.'”

“At the same time, after these attacks, he apologises me by saying that he may get used to it eventually but that I should consider shave for him to show that I really want to be with him. This is a cycle that as been repeating for 5 months.”

“AITA for not shaving for the shake of our relationship?”

Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole here.


“He doesn’t have feelings for you. He wants to f* you.”

“Why did you date him for 5 more month after he called you digusting and dirty?”

“He is abusing you.”

“I’m with my bf for 3 years and not once he called me names. Not once.” – CakeEatingRabbit

“NTA for not shaving.”

“In fact it’s a red flag (if he finds you unattractive, why is he dating you???), and you should think well if you need this relationship.”

“It’s not a health or a hygiene concern, it’s just a ‘change yourself to my standards.’ It’s not ok.” – tatasz

“NTA, Girl, dump his a**.”

“Sometimes people will see a house that’s not really what they want, but they’ll buy it anyway and say it’s a ‘fixer upper.’”

“You shouldn’t treat relationships like that, because ppl aren’t houses. Date a person for who they ARE, not some hypothetical version of them you think you can make them become.”

“By the sounds of it, you won’t be able to make him into the kind of person you deserve, and he’s not gonna be able to turn you into the kind of person He wants. So why bother trying to make it work? Theres plenty of decent guys out there for you and plenty of hairless women out there for him.”

“And as a female who also doesn’t shave, I was saddened that you felt the need to treat this like a big thing you needed to announce at the begining of the relationship. Not shaving is like default mode, man.” – Jayden-3100

“This is your first relationship. And now you see many comments from those who have been in long term relationship, BTDT folks. Dump this abusive person.”

“Dump anyone who dictates your body comfort. Dump anyone who is ashamed of you. Dump anyone who thinks you ‘are okay to F**K but not good enuf for anything else.’ This is Your Body. Not his. Not ever.” – NCKALA


“Leave him. Find somebody who wants to be with you! Somebody who respects you and accepts you as you are.”

“There is absolutely nothing wrong with body hair. Nothing. It is not unattractive. We all have it. It is who we are. Good on you for knowing who you are and standing up for yourself!” – TimLikesPi

“I’ve been married for 18 years… I shaved occasionally when we first got together (like my legs for special events if I was wearing a shorter skirt/dress), but at this point it’s been 15+ years since I’ve shaved anything. My husband could care less, he’s totally supportive of me doing whatever I want with my body.”

“I also have waist length (head) hair, that he loves and often comments on how attractive he finds it. There’s been 2 times in those 18 years that I’ve cut it chin length on a whim, and while I don’t think he liked it as much as he likes my long hair, I’m not actually sure of that, because he didn’t make any negative comments about it… he let me do my thing and decide for myself how I liked it.”

“This is your first relationship, it need not be your last. You will find someone who will appreciate you so much, that while he certainly likes and appreciates your physical qualities, he literally loves you too much to care what you do with any of the hair on your body!”

“Stop spending energy on this guy, save it for someone who you actually like (and not someone you just sort of end up with feelings for).” – OrindaSarnia


“From someone who depilates… Why are you still with a man that doesn’t respect your decisions?”

“You were clear with him from the beginning. If he doesn’t keep his word is now up to you to keep yours and cut it off.”

“An advice: never have a relationship with a guy that wants to be with you because ‘you’re hot’. Sex? Yes. Nothing else. That’s not boyfriend material, as you are experiencing.” – Upset_Reflection8320

“NTA, he is. It’s your body and you made it very clear from the beginning. He’s not only trying to push boundaries, he’s trying to shame and humiliate you for a very natural thing. You deserve someone who doesn’t act this entitled to your body.” – SaikaTheCasual

“NTA. Why are you with him? He constantly criticizes you and makes you feel ugly. He says he doesn’t want his family or friends to see you and he even tries to say you’re obviously not feminist because other women shave and you don’t??”

“Like literally please explain what qualities he actually does have because he sounds like a massive AH.” – sarah280590

“NTA. All women shave is not even close to true for any part of the world. I’ve worked with a couple women who don’t shave. Does he shave his pubes and would he be offended if you started telling him it was filthy and gross that he didn’t? Your man is a child.” – MansonVixen

“NTA! Kudos to you for sticking to your guns!!! Feminist pride right hurrrr! My life is controlled by shaving! I just recently watched like a 2-hour video on how to shaving in itself is misogyny and I’m hoping to one day be as brave as you!”

“My daughter doesn’t shave either. It was smashed into my head over and over and over and over again when I was coming up that if I didn’t shave I was somehow gross and it’s really f’ked with me because I will not even run to the store without shaving in the summertime.”

“I take pride in young women such as yourself and my kiddo who refuse to shave (its SOOO f’king stupid). Ya’ll are pushing back against shaving. Body hair is not ugly, gross nor less womanly. I wish I had an award to give, have some hearts instead 😍😍❤” – SnooSketches4973

“NTA Please never change your look for somebody else. And never let yourself treat like sh*t. He calls you name, tell you that you are ugly and that he is embaressed of you.”

“All because of your natural body hair. Never let yourself treat like this! He is an embaressment! And i bet that he doesn’t even shave himself.”

“Just break up. You don’t need to be nice. Write him an text that your hairy a** is sick of him and bye! Then block him.” – EvilFinch

Overall, Redditors thought the boyfriend was being the a**hole for his demands.

They also strongly encouraged the OP to leave the relationship in the hopes of finding someone who would appreciate her without compromise.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo